VOL 1412 - March. 29, 2015 - The BEST Cop Comebacks - Dumb Criminals!

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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MARCH FUN
Time For Some Strange Fun !


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I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone. You deal with it, there is pain, and then you pass it. That's all I have to say about Schmadonna. - Sandra Bernhard (about Madonna)

Not in this lifetime. Why? Because I'm the only one she hasn't done it to. - Sharon Stone (when told Madonna has said she wants to kiss her)

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - The BEST Cop Comebacks - Dumb Criminals!

The following 15 police comments were taken from actual Dallas Police car videos and distributed by Monica Smith, Director DPD, Public Relations Officer:

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? "

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you that when you run that stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair?......You want me to be fair? Listen pal, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey doo!"

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through the records department. "

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And....................THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!

#1. "Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
Well, you are right, we don't. Now, sign here."


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