VOL 1339 - July 16, 2014 - Stupid People Defined - GREAT Definitions and Analogies

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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JULY Fun !


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Strange British Sports "Announcer" Quotes:

"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money."
NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN, Radio 5 Live

"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday." Radio 5 Live

"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen." TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold

"And we all know that in football if you stand still you go backwards..."

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..." ANDY GRAY, Sky Sport

"The lad got over-excited when the saw the whites of the goalpost's eyes." STEVE COPPELL, Radio 5 Live

"They [Rosenborg] have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them." BRIAN MOORE, ITV

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Stupid People Defined

There are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how...

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait.

Chimney's clogged.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

Doesn't know much, bot leads the league in nostril hair.

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

Forgot to pay his brain bill.

Her sewing machine's out of thread.

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

If he had another brain, it would be lonely.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

No grain in the silo.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

He has less going on upstairs than a one story house.

Several nuts short of a full pouch.

Skylight leaks a little.

Slinky's kinked.

Surfing in Nebraska.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

A few beers short of a six-pack.

Dumber than a box of hair.

A few peas short of a casserole.

Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one box.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

One taco short of a combination plate.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

All foam, no beer.

The cheese slid off his cracker.

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

The lights are on, but nobody's home.

24 cents short of a quarter.

A few bricks shy of a full load.


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