This Week:
* GAME OF THRONES - dubbed as a comedy movie
* MORSE - lols from the olde timey internet
* COCKS - hidden on the London Tube map
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the web
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| ...together"
B3ta email 603 - 18 Oct 2013
Go to your room and think about this newsletter:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue603
Him : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Hymn : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
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: SPONSORED LINK
New 'Mashed' stuff using B3tans
"Evening B3tans. MASHED calling (ding dong) -
what a week it's been - Dave Sheep launches a
range of GCHQ Spywear.
"And then Somegreybloke goes and drops NSA:
National Insecurity on us
"Anyone would think we had a thing against
being spied on! Please enjoy, and if you
like, subscribe and share."
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Morse, Googling and Delivering
>> Morse LOLz 3 <<
"This is the 3rd release in our historical
series, made with archive footage of the
earliest internet users," beeps wallopfilms.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Morse_LOLz_3
>> Pops does a "Computer Googling" <<
There's something we really enjoy about this
series from Touched by an Angle Grinder. Here,
TBAAG's dad waxes lyrical on how much the
"computer Google" has improved since he was
young.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1081556/
>> Do you deliver? <<
"Just whacked up a new thingy innit," brags the
internet's tiny Joel Veitch. More escapades
with his disturbing puppet pals.
http://b3ta.com/links/Stallion_Explosion_Delivery
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: USVSTH3M
Stuff we like and also we made
>> British Gas Bill Simulator <<
BG is putting its prices up again. Find out how
it'll affect you with this online calculator.
>> The six penises hidden on the London Tube Map <<
We can't believe they've been staring us in the
face all this time.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/64118798676/the-six-hidden
>> Donna Summer's Disco Sausage Quiz <<
Face the Sausage's quickfire questions about
both disco and preserved meats.
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/donna-summers-disco-sausage/
>> Paris? Where the Hell is Paris? <<
Test your geography skills against the world.
Can you pin down where the capital cities are?
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/paris/
>> Things people say on Twitter <<
...and what they really mean. Basically, humans
are the worst, aren't they?
http://usvsth3m.com/post/64289939215/things
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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Irrational People
As Freddie Woo so succinctly puts it, "I'm
having to drive 500 miles to pick up my son
from the ex's house because she won't let him
take the train in case he gets off at the wrong
station. He's 19 years old and has A-Levels."
Read on for more crazy unreasoning:
http://b3ta.com/questions/irrationalpeople
* MOON - "I discovered that one of my work-mates
was one of these deluded moon-landings-were-faked
fools. He was also someone who was interested
in an intellectual debate over a couple of
beers, so I told him to gather any supposed
evidence he could find, so I could point out
why it was invalid.
"He duly turned up at the pub with some
printouts from a website with all the usual
cliches - no stars (chuckle), flag waving
(chortle), wrong shadow directions (guffaw).
But it quickly became apparent that this was
something different, and far stranger. The
website he'd found was claiming, apparently
seriously, that the Moon itself didn't
actually exist. The fact that we think we can
see it in the sky was an illusion, a
conspiracy perpetrated by the shadowy powers
that control our lives.
"Yes, the Moon is a hoax. Clearly we can't
have landed on it, since it doesn't exist. I
have to admit that I found it hard to know
where to start with my rebuttal..."
(moon monkey)
* BUFFOON - "Discussing with my ex-girlfriend
how I was having trouble finding a job. I'd
finished university and was working in
Woolworths whilst trying to get a better job.
'There are more jobs in London, why don't you
move down here?' 'I would, but I'd need a job
first so I could afford to move down.' 'No. I
live in London and I don't have a job!' 'Yes,
but you have a flat.' 'Well if I can have a
flat in London without having a job, why
can't you?' 'Errrr. Your Dad BOUGHT your flat
for you.' 'I really don't see what that's got
to do with anything...'
(SnowyTheRabbit)
* BALLOON - "A friend of mine absolutely refused
to drive anywhere at night because she was
worried she would hit someone and not notice.
I always thought I could cure her irrational
fear by setting up some empty plastic trash
bins and having her bump them with her car at
low speeds, to show that it's impossible to
not notice even that kind of impact.
"The opportunity never came up, so instead I
wedged an old deflated child's birthday
balloon and some human hair in the underside
of her bumper when she was leaving work for
the day, figuring that facing her fear was
the only way to get past it."
(Wank Fuckclunge)
>> This Week - BAD DATES <<
Tell us about your least successful date.
Arrive late? Forget their name? Show them
goatse on your phone just as the main course
arrived? Or was it the other way around?
http://b3ta.com/questions/baddates/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
>> Extreme Makeover - Fuck-Mattress edition <<
Kind-hearted strangers provide a much-needed
makeover for an abandoned mattress in the woods.
>> How Twitter outrage works <<
It's Buzzfeed, it's good and it basically ate
Twitter earlier this week. Loads and loads of
detail and little in-jokes that reward paying
attention.
>> iPhone 5s vs. Peppa Pig phone <<
The head-to-head product comparison you NEED to
read.
>> Marxwear <<
The Father of Communism has never looked more
marketable, than in these head-swapped fashion
shots.
>> The sad boyfriends of Etsy <<
Nice bit of social observation. Many Etsy
stores are run by female crafters - stuck for
models, they push their unenthusiastic
boyfriends in front of the camera.
http://sadetsyboyfriends.tumblr.com/
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like really, really, really long GIFs
>> Game of Thrones as Judd Apatow comedy <<
Eddie Stark's job is to get Medieval Land Fun
Time World up and ready for its grand opening.
But his co-workers are such losers and misfits.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1082420/
>> Superheroes without superpowers <<
Just why do the Avengers let the non-powered
heroes tag along on missions? All is revealed.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1082187/
>> Dennis Skinner storms PM's Questions <<
One to make you angry, as Dennis Skinner MP
launches a searing attack on ATOS and the DWP,
for leaving a terminally-ill man without
benefits for a year.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1082374/
>> Rats, doing tricks <<
They may be basically incontinent vermin who
like to die in your wall cavities, but rats are
plenty clever, agile and dexterous enough to
train for daring jewel thefts.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Rats_doing_tricks
>> Peter Serafinowicz sings Morrissey autobiography <<
The best comment we've seen so far on the great
man's recently-published memoir.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49lPGmnYDw4
>> Cake-O-Matic <<
Hungry engineer bravely harnesses the power of
the internal combustion engine to throw cake at
his face with great velocity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lft51kJdDxc
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Reverse Challenge
Last week we wanted you to show everything
backwards.
Your favourites included:
* IN-JOKE: artful rodent paints buxom
warrior weirdo (Tribs)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11019230
* IN-JOKE: young wrestler monitors skyline
development with anticipation (Sorbus)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11019641
* IN-JOKE: wild canine finds great
pleasure in t-shirt splendour (HappyToast)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11019213
All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/reverse/
>> New challenge: Chickens! <<
The humble chicken is one of the most
popular meals across the globe, but it's
never been celebrated with its own b3ta
image challenge. This week, we're putting
that right. Chickens. Go mental
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/chickens
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* NICE WEATHER INSURANCE - who'll insure us
against the consequences of not going to work
'cos it's lovely and sunny out?
* DONUTS ON A STICK - wait, you can already get
those?
* INKJET WALL PRINTERS - because wallpaper is
too hard.
Send contributions via the mail form.
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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Sub: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Snub: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------------
THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by
Fork, Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver,
Beau Bo d'Or, robneymcplum, PhillieJoe,
SnowyTheRabbit and sinisterduck.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via NoStrings.
-------------------------------------------------
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