Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: [b3ta] "Happy 2013th birthday, America!"

This Week:
* DOGS - pushing a tiny shopping trolley
* TRON - in sort of real life
* TITANIC - in bad Japanese

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the web...
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| together"

B3ta email 588 - 05 JUL 2013

Read this newsletter by decoding word-shapes with your brain:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue588

Pop-pop : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Stop-stop : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: SPONSORED LINK
Kobo ereader

After leaving our kindle on the bus we got a
bit depressed. Then we found that you could get
a Kobo for around £30. It's not as good as a
Kindle, but it does basically do the job and
you won't feel upset when you lose it. Also it
plays Sudoku, which is better than reading
anyway.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/140053271X/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

>> The Haunting Secret of London Bridge <<
"I'm continuing my slightly odd series about
London," intones DefyingDarwin. File under
'disturbing lies to tell tourists'.
http://bit.ly/15k43tQ

>> Graham Murkett DIY comedy masterclass <<
Slow-talking comedy guru somegreybloke teaches
us how to entertain, in the absence of
professionally-crafted comedy. Let's hope it
never comes to that.
http://b3ta.com/links/1027388

>> How can you live with yourself? <<
The answer, according to Black Moon and Clone
Black Moon, is "it can get annoying" because of
your inconsiderate doppelganger.
http://b3ta.com/links/Living_with_yourself

>> Plasticine Carnage! <<
"War, HUH! Good God y'all, What is it good for?
(absolutely nothin')" shouts handymartian.
"Here is an animation I made. It's a
stop-motion-tastic, all out battle between two
arch rivals on Planet Six."
http://b3ta.com/links/Plasticine_Carnage

>> "Cursery rhymes" <<
"My friend and I decided that the overall moral
of the Gruffalo was that you could lie your way
out of any situation, and that this wasn't a
very good lesson to teach a young child," writes
Furness. "This lead to a bet being made that I
couldn't write one. I wrote six." NSFW.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00BLMD800/b3ta-21

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Yum!

We wanted the best thing you'd eaten. We got
your attempts at recreating junk food:
http://b3ta.com/questions/foodporn/

Here are our top three incomprehensible dishes:

* Purple sweet potato and bits of rehydrated
glutinous rice with hoi sin sauce and some
peanut butter - if anything it looked worse
when I mixed it up. (Zuowan)
http://bit.ly/1aJh30h

* The KFC Double-down - so bad you have to
ask for it specially. (Airman Gabber)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/foodporn/post2005157

* The Meatenburg Cake (riverghost)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/foodporn/post2001483

>> This Week - LUCKY ESCAPES <<
Come close to death, serious injury or Simon
Cowell, but got away? Tell us about your lucky
escapes:
http://b3ta.com/questions/browntrousers/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Pretend your monitor is a tank at Sea World <<
Relaxingly pointless waste of time - killer
whale swims after your mouse.
http://bit.ly/1bS8MTY

>> Strange but true: Tron on an Apple ii <<
Novice programmers accidentally create a game
character that can actually escape into the
computer's memory. True story, by the way, so
it doesn't exactly launch World War III.
http://bit.ly/3xAGvp

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Look again, the LOLs are just tiny squares

>> Titanic translated into Japanese and then back <<
The great romance film of our times is parsed
through a crappy online translator and then
re-enacted by amateurs. Extremely moving.
‏http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds2Ai6HAo7Y

>> Dog pushing along another dog <<
No, they aren't having sex - why would your
mind even go there?? This is absolutely
adorable and involves a tiny toy shopping
trolley. D'aww.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ah_Bless

>> Exceptionally awkward phone prank <<
Genuinely cringe-making, as a guy is tricked
into explaining his porn collection to his mom
- extraordinary stuff.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ul4Wympi3I

>> Bubble football <<
This is the kind of football we can get behind
- everybody enclosed in huge, transparent
bubbles, so we don't get our teeth accidentally
kicked out by someone far too sporty.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/My_kind_of_football

>> History of film aspect ratio <<
Interesting jaunt through film geekery,
examining why today's movies look the way they
do.
http://vimeo.com/68830569

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: UsVsTh3m
The "other" project some B3tans are running

* 9 worst things about Twitter and 9
unrealistic ideas on how to solve them. World
sorted and put to rights.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/54594593408/9-worst

* Sicktionary speaking quiz - guess the
euphemism, spoken aloud by extraordinarily rude
voice synth. Or, if you have no sound, play the
nail-bitingly tense Timed Mode.
http://sicktionary.usvsth3m.com/quiz/?speak

* Drawing cocks on the Social Pollen Count.
Poor Benadryl, their user-generated content
page quickly got out of hand.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/54422626640/dear-benadryl

We do a daily email of this shit - sign up.
http://bit.ly/ZizxOD

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Movie Quotes Challenge

Last week we wanted you to picture movie
quotes using pictures without quotes

Your favourites included:

* SLAVES: bewildering Mexican pet food
gladiatorial mashup (VicBrown)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10977217

* MAFIA: elusive pop-up renders proposal
rejection tough (monkeon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10978233

* COPS: snack-based visual pun recalls
ladder mammal moment (monkeon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10978497

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/movie-quotes/

>> New challenge: Shoes! <<
This week's one word challenge celebrates
shoes, from high heels to flip flops and
all other types of lovely footwear. It'll
be brilliant. Shoes! Challenge suggested
by HappyToast
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/shoes

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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* SHED OF THE YEAR ANNOUNCED - "It's the
Boat-Roofed Shed," confides shed supremo Wilco,
and it really is a sight to behold.
http://bit.ly/1cTMeTl

* BIONIC EAR FINAL UPDATE - "I've had a bionic
ear for 7 or 8 months now," writes long-time
correspondent helmsdeep. "I've put up what will
probably be my last update up. It feels good to
reach the end of this particular journey.
Thanks for being nice about the blog, and
thanks for reading and commenting. Take care of
yourselves and each other."
http://bit.ly/16T01Ie

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include:

* SET AND FORGET HAIR - getting a haircut is
very dull. Why can't we just set a hair
preference on a dial implanted at the side of
our skulls and save 30 minutes every five weeks?

* MEDICAL SCIENCE TO RECOGNISE THAT SOME PEOPLE
SNEEZE IN SUNLIGHT - we're not crazy, it's an
actual thing, mister so-called "doctor". And
it's very serious.

* A NEW KIND OF DELICIOUS UNHEALTHINESS - we
are tired of pork and cheese, does this mean
we're tired of life?

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us. Sometimes,
admittedly, with one hand over our eyes.

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Lugs: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Slugs: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by @bl0ke,
Sheriff John Bunnell, ‏@OliverAge24, @johnsto,
@mattround, The Scrunt.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via Rafi.

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TOP TIP:
Just look here:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/