Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: VOL 1061 - Nov. 20, 2011 - Strange Office Fun

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A Tribute To Business Office Fun!

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Strange Business Quotes

A company is known by the people it keeps.

At some time in the lifecycle of every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out.

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor. John Ciardi

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. Spike Milligan

If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some. Benjamin Franklin

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. George Burns

If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route. Malcolm S. Forbes quotes
It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money. PJ O'Rourke

Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing. Billy Rose

The most popular labor-saving device is still money. Phyllis George

Nothing recedes like success. Walter Winchell
Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. H. Jackson Brown

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - What's Your 'Business' Sign?

What's Your Business Sign?

Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business Sign?

MARKETING -- You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

SALES -- Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY -- Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

ENGINEERING -- One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."

ACCOUNTING -- The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES -- Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.

MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT -- Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT -- (See above - Same sign, different title)

CUSTOMER SERVICE -- Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.

CONSULTANT -- Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.

RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" -- As a "person" that profits from the success of others, most people who actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.

PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO -- You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter.

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 20. November 2011

VOL 1061 - Nov. 20, 2011 - Strange Office Fun - What's Your 'Business' Sign?

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