Mittwoch, 11. Mai 2011

Vol 1006 - May 11, 2011 - Strange Real Answers From Traffic School Exams

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Strange Quotes from Australia

Australia is about as far away as you can get. I like that. - Andre Benjamin

God bless America. God save the Queen. God defend New Zealand and thank Christ for Australia. - Russell Crowe

In Australia, not reading poetry is the national pastime. - Phyllis McGinley

Australia is an absolutely fantastic country, but the only thing we lack is the ability to work harder. - Dick Smith

To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother. - Barry Humphries

Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development. - Barry Humphries

The greatest and proudest moment moment of my life standing on the podium receiving the silver medal on behalf of myself and Australia. - Graham Cheney

Olivia Newton-John - Australia's gift to insomniacs. It's nothing but the blonde singing the bland. - Minnie Riperton

It's definitely different in the States. Americans are much different people compared to us. We're much more laid back. I itch to get back to Australia every summer because it's so fast paced there and so stressful. - Andrew Bogut

I'd like to be seen as an average Australian bloke. I can't think of... I can't think of a nobler description of anybody than to be called an average Australian bloke. - John Howard

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Real Answers From Traffic School Exams

Clever Drivers

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's traffic school. YIKES!

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE COMMEMORATIVE STAMPS FROM AROUND THE WORLD - SIERRA LEONE - RICHARD PETTY - NASCAR - http://www.strangecosmoss.com/content/item/174201.html


MURDER SOLVED AFTER COPS FIND CRIME SCENE TATTOOED ON GANG MEMBER'S CHEST - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/175021.html


DOGS LOVE RIDING IN TRUCKS AND CARS! - WATCH THOSE FAST STARTS - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/175066.html


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OLDE CAR TRIPS - TOURIST TRAPS - MT LOWE INCLINE - PASADENA CA - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/174561.html


STRANGE DEER WITH HIS PALS RESTING UP IN HS RACK - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/174905.html


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MASS TRANSIT DANGERS - BUS DRIVER TALKING AND TEXTING ON 2 CELL PHONES WHILE DRIVING! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/175521.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - WATER SPORTS - SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - DIVING - SURFING - KAYAK

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100661_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Osama bin Laden Jokes - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/175517.html


Strange 2011 Calendar Mysteries - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/175518.html


The Perfect Golf Shot? - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/175519.html


Strange Facts About Shopping Malls - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/119817.html


Murphy's Laws for Business - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/115232.html


Strange Tips and Hints - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/114317.html


Ten Excuses for Missing Work - Five Smart, Five DUMB - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/122770.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SS - WATER SPORTS - SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - DIVING - SURFING - KAYAK

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/109_1.html

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--------------------- Exciting NEW Opportunity!:-----------------

We are looking for people who are looking to the Future

Who do you know that..... Needs to loose weight?
Loves Chocolate?
Needs Better health?
Wants to make some extra money?

Even if you don't fall into any of the above categories, we're positive that you know someone that does? Sign Up Today!

We pay great referral fees!! Call for more information and a Free sample. 623-764-7000

Be sure and say that "ART" sent you to insure proper credit and special offers!

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