Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 738 - Oct. 15, 2008

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Strange Quotes:

Wall Street Quote of the Week: "This is worse than divorce. I lost half my net worth but I still have my wife."

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." - Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"The coward threatens when he is safe." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"They have vilified me, they have crucified me. Yes, they have even criticized me." - Richard J. Daley

"People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, 'Why wasn't it done the other way?'" - Oliver Wendell Holmes

"To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Elbert Hubbard

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Southern Expressions

Southern Expressions

Exclamations:
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

Threats:
"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle."
"This'll jar your preserves."
"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"

Good Things/Compliments:
"Cute as a sack full of puppies."
"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
"Gooder than grits."

The Weather:
"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."

Descriptions:
A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
"He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."
A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a
marble floor."

Insults:
"She's uglier than homemade soap."
"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.'"
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"
Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart."
Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Mittwoch, 15. Oktober 2008

Vol 738 - Oct. 15, 2008 - Strange Southern Expressions

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