Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:
---------------------------------------
MARCH FUN
Time For Some Strange Fun !
------------------------
Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html
------------------------
NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:
http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/news_10766.html
AMAZING MOUNTAIN CLIMBING DANGERS - SIGHTS - VISTAS
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_3549.html
STRANGE "WORLD RECORDS" - BIGGEST - FASTEST - DUMBEST!
http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_8116.html
WHEN HORSE RIDING IS NO LONGER FUN! - SPILLS & THRILLS!
http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_10030.html
STRANGE BICYCLE RACING PROBLEMS - ACCIDENTS - SPILLS - FUN - TOUR de FRANCE - OLD FRANCE PIXS
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10707.html
STRANGE SWIMMING POOLS - ALL KINDS - SIZES - SHAPES - AFLOAT - PARKING
==================================
Strange Insults About Men & Women:
A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice. - Phillip Marlowe
A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all. - James Boswell
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford
Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland
Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields
Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking. - Rupert Hughes
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in. - Katharine Whitehorn
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. - Elizabeth Taylor
Strange Insults About Men & Women:
A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice. - Phillip Marlowe
A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all. - James Boswell
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford
Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland
Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields
Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking. - Rupert Hughes
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in. - Katharine Whitehorn
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. - Elizabeth Taylor
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Rules For Entering Texas
Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
It's called a 'gravel road'. I drive a pickup truck because I need to.
No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
They are pigs, cattle, and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive three weeks a year.
So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
Trucks are made to get dirty. Don't bring your Eddie Bauer Limited Edition to my hunting camp and expect to leave clean on Sunday. It won't happen.
We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, well if that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in,we Will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
Go ahead and bring your $800 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle.
We have a name for that little 13-inch trout you fish for---bait.
Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and crawdads. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you jack-slapped, by our women.
Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to.
Our women are some of the best looking in the country.We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of age.
No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
When we fill out a table there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables,and breads. We use three spices- salt, pepper, and Tabasco Sauce.
You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served over ice, and plenty of it. You bring "Mary Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon.
That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid for that shot in the airport at New York, Boston, Chicago, or L.A.
High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
Colleges? Try Texas A&M. They come out of there with an education and a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so, "Don't Mess With Texas". If you do it will get your butt kicked by the best!
Our Military is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns at least two firearms and has taken a NRA Certified Shooter Education Course.
Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston once said, "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas.
==================================
Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
==================================
STRANGE AND OUTRAGEOUS SHOES - WESTERN WEAR - CALF LEATHER HOOF FRONT AND SIX-GUN HEEL! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/194518.html
STRANGE SNOW FUN - CRAZY VIDEO OF HORSE DRAWN AMISH BUGGY DOING DONUTS IN PARKING LOT! - FUNNY ACTION GIF! ACCUMULATED SNOW SLIDING OFF 3 STORY ROOF ALL AT ONCE - WOW - FUN ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194724.html
STRANGE ANIMALS - CRAZY LOOKING YELLOW FROG WITH HUGE BLUE PUFFY CHEEKS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/194725.html
WINTER OF 2015 SNOW FUN - QUAD HITS PARKED CAR AFTER SKIDDING ON ICY ROAD - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/194581.html
AMAZING BOMB EXPLOSION OVER TOP OF PARKED ENEMY MILITARY JET - WOW! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/194716.html
STRANGE AERIAL PHOTOS - 57,000 UNSOLD NEW & USED CARS VALENCIA SPAIN! - WOW! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194717.html
STRANGE EDUCATION FAILS - MUST HAVE MISSED THE DAY WHEN THEY DISCUSSED CALENDERS - ESPECIALLY FEBRUARY! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/194718.html
STRANGE ART AROUND THE WORLD - AMAZING WOODEN SKULL CARVED FROM SINGLE WOODEN LOG! WOW! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194719.html
STRANGE MAILBOXES - LOG MAILBOX FOR THE REAL WOOD WORKER! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/194720.html
STRANGE SPORTS AWARDS - COMPARE THE 1ST SUPERBOWL NFL CHAMPION RING TO THE 2014 VERSION! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/194721.html
STRANGE BICYCLES - AMAZING CUSTOM TRIPLE TANDEM FOR MOM WITH 3 KIDS SEATS AND A GROCERY BASKET! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/194722.html
STRANGE POLICE INFORMATION - AERIAL VIEW TO NEW YORK CITY'S POLICE PRISON RIKERS ISLAND! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194723.html
STRANGE BUSINESS PROMOTIONAL ITEMS - LOCAL SLAUGHTER HOUSE SELLS A CALENDAR FEATURING MANY PUPPIES AND KITTENS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/194726.html
STRANGE BAR-B-QUES AND FIRE-PITS - HUGE ROUND STAR-WARS DEATH STAR SHAPED WOOD BURNER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194727.html
STRANGE KID IDEAS - LITTLE BOY DEVISES CLEVER BOXING PUNCHING BAG TOOTH PULLING SYSTEM! - ONE PUNCH - DONE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/194728.html
STRANGE SELFIES - GOOFY PEOPLE TAKING DUMB PHOTOS! - IDIOT BASEBALL STREAKER FAN - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/194348.html
COOL BUILDING IDEAS - CLASSY CUSTOM WELDING STEEL & WOODEN GARDEN GATE - COOL TREE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194729.html
STRANGE CELEBRITY EMBARRASSING MOMENTS - KATY PERRY DOES THE WALK OF SHAME LEAVING JOHN MAYER'S HOME EARLY ONE MORNING! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/194730.html
==================================
The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - CONCEPT CARS - WILD DESIGNS - GM - FORD - CHRYSLER - JAPANESE - EUROPEAN
http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100707_1.html
==================================
The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
- Strange Little Known WWII Facts - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/194618.html
- 21 Dumbest Criminals of the 21st Century - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/154553.html
- Top 10 Strange & Infamous Pirates - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/152637.html
- Strange Use of Cats in Wars Throughout History - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/152275.html
- How Others See You Quiz - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/21693.html
- Strange Headstones From Old Cemeteries - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/186325.html
==================================
The Featured New Category This Week - SV - CONCEPT CARS - WILD DESIGNS - GM - FORD - CHRYSLER - JAPANESE - EUROPEAN
http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/136_1.html
==================================
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!
Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263
http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/
------------------------------------------------------------
Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites
==========================
********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)
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Dienstag, 24. März 2015
Samstag, 21. März 2015
VOL 1410 - March. 22, 2015 - Strange Fun - The Unofficial Drivers Test/Quiz
Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:
---------------------------------------
MARCH FUN
Time For Some Strange Fun !
------------------------
Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html
------------------------
NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:
http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_7532.html
DANGEROUS SPORTS - STRANGE BASE JUMPERS & SKYDIVERS !
http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_7810.html
STRANGE SPORTS MASCOTS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_10203.html
NEW! WWI & WWII - STRANGE RAZZLE DAZZLE CAMOUFLAGE PAINT
http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/news_4771.html
WHY HUSBANDS, BOYFRIENDS AND MEN GET INTO TROUBLE
http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_9720.html
STRANGE OLDE SHIPS AND OCEAN VESSELS - GREAT LAKES
==================================
Strange Insults About Men & Women:
A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice. - Phillip Marlowe
A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all. - James Boswell
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford
Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland
Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields
Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking. - Rupert Hughes
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in. - Katharine Whitehorn
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. - Elizabeth Taylor
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - The Unofficial Drivers Test/Quiz
The Unofficial Drivers Test
We've all seen it. People change when they get behind the wheel of a car.
So now, to profile your personality, here is the special Driving Test...
1: Which part of your car wears out most often?
a: the wiper blades
b: the belts
c: the horn
2: Automatic door locks are good for...
a: security
b: convenience
c: messing with the heads of people trying to get in
3: I hate the rain because...
a: it lowers visibility and makes for less safe conditions
b: I answered (a) to question #1
c: I just washed my car
4: Please select the statement that best describes you.
a: I have never written in the dust on someone's car
b: I have written "wash me" in the dust on someone's car
c: I have drawn genitalia in the dust on someone's car
5: The "bright" setting on your headlights is for...
a: dark, poorly lit roads
b: flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c: revenge!
6: I have enough power in my car stereo system to...
a: get it loud enough to drown out road noise
b: get it headbanging loud for my Metallica CD
c: cause permanent hearing loss to anyone within ten feet
7: How many times have you been pulled over for speeding in the last year?
a: zero or one, because I'm generally a safe driver
b: two or three, because I've had some unlucky breaks
c: before or after they took my license away?
8: What hand gesture do you use most while driving?
a: "go ahead"
b: "thank you"
c: "@#!*&%^!"
9: When a bicyclist is next to you, you should...
a: be aware of them
b: speed up and get past them
c: open the door
10: Your rear view mirror is for...
a: watching for approaching cars
b: watching for approaching police cars
c: checking your hair
11: If you are driving and you begin to feel very sleepy, you should...
a: pull off to the side of the road and rest
b: stop at the next convenience mart and get a liter of coffee or Mountain Dew
c: drive faster
12: The Highway Patrol exists to...
a: ensure the safety of all motorists
b: issue as many tickets as possible
c: keep donut shops in business
13: You are supposed to signal a turn or lane change...
a: 50 feet prior
b: 25 feet prior
c: right after you do it
14: If I had a lot of money, I'd spend it on...
a: a minivan
b: a really cool sports car or 4-wheeler
c: bail
15: The best thing about a chauffeured limousine is...
a: I don't have to drive
b: I can stretch out, relax, and have a drink
c: leaning out the open sunroof and shouting at and/or flashing people
How to score the quiz:
Give yourself one point for every A, two for every B, and three for
every C. Tally up the points and consult the list below.
15-24 Points
You're a good driver. You watch the speed limit, remain calm, and
observe not only the rules of the road, but also the etiquette. And
since you drive so safely and so politely, you'll live a long time.
Long enough to decelerate with each passing decade until you're one of
those old people in a big car, going ten miles under the speed limit
in the fast lane and pissing all the rest of us off.
25-35 Points
Hey! Joe Average! You're a decent driver without being boring. You
get where you're going fast without too much danger. In fact, you're
the type of person we all like to ride with. Well, all of us except
your mother, because "you're going too fast! Watch out for that car
in front of you! You're going to kill us all!"
36-45 Points
Remember in driver's education class when they told us to drive
defensively? You're the reason.
==================================
Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
==================================
STRANGE AND OUTRAGEOUS FASHIONS - FORMAL MEN'S SUITS - 10 YEARS APART - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194503.html
STRANGE OLDE TYME GAS STATIONS - BOMBER HAS FULL SCALE WWI B-24 BOMBER OVER TOP OF STATION! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/194678.html
STRANGE HIGHWAY VANDALISM IN CANADA - OVERPASS MESSAGE - BE HAPPY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194686.html
STRANGE OLDE BICYCLES - DUAL TANDEM HIGH WHEEL BICYCLE WITH BABY PRAM ON REAR! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/194687.html
STRANGE FINAL WISHES - AT THIS MANS FUNERAL HE HAD DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS CHEERING HIM ON TO THE NEXT LIFE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/194679.html
STRANGE RARE FINDS - WOMAN BOUGHT OLDE MOVIE POSTER FROM ANTIQUES DEALER - A VERY VALUABLE "ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT!" - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194680.html
STRANGE CELEBRITIES - CHECK OUT THE MANY ACTORS AND THE FAMOUS PEOPLE THEY PORTRAYED! - LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THEM IN PERSON! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/194681.html
STRANGE AERIAL PHOTOS - AMAZING COLORFUL TULIP FIELDS OF LISSE, THE NETHERLANDS - WOW! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/194682.html
STRANGE COLLEGE SPRING BREAK PIXS - EVERY OUTSIDE DECK OF THIS HIGH RISE HOTEL IS PARTYING! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194683.html
STRANGE INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS - CHECKOUT THIS CHINESE APPLE iPHONE ASSEMBLY BUILDING WITH THE SUICIDE NETS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/194685.html
WINTER OF 2015 SNOW FUN - SCARY SHORELINE ICE CREEPING TOWARD HOUSE DRIVEN BY THE WIND! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/194585.html
DARWIN AWARD NOMINEE - MORON PUTS FLAME TO SEWER GAS LEAKING FROM MANHOLE COVER - EXPLOSION BLOWS LID SKY HIGH! - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/194672.html
STRANGE MOTORCYCLES - 3 LOTUS C-01 DESIGNED BY PERSON WHO CREATED THE TRON LEGACY BIKES! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/194673.html
STRANGE PRODUCTS - BABY BOLOGNA CALLED ALEX'S MEAT! WITH HIS BABY PICTURE ON IT! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/194674.html
STRANGE ANIMAL OCCUPATIONS - DOGGIE "KISSING" BOOTH AT PET ADOPTION FAIR - "POOCH SMOOCH!" - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/194675.html
STRANGE AND OUTRAGEOUS SHOES - LIL HANDBAG SHOES! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/194529.html
SPORTS FUN - CLEVER BANNER AD PLACED OUTSIDE HOCKEY TEAM BENCH SHOWING WOMEN SITTING FROM THE WAIST DOWN - HILARIOUS BUSINESS ADVERTISING - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/194677.html
STRANGE SELFIES - GOOFY PEOPLE TAKING DUMB PHOTOS! - ICE FLOE FOOLS FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194347.html
==================================
The Featured Pix Category This Week - SP - CRIMINAL MUG SHOT - Police Photos - Crime Scene - Evidence
http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/100379_1.html
==================================
The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
- 10 Worst Customer Service Stories - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194603.html
- Strange Laws and Other Useless Information - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/118510.html
- Strange Celebrities Who Are Missing Fingers - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/117637.html
- Strange Motorcycle Facts - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/168715.html
- 20 Hilarious School Exam Answers - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/168997.html
==================================
The Featured New Category This Week - SP - CRIMINAL MUG SHOT - Police Photos - Crime Scene - Evidence
http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/112_1.html
==================================
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!
Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263
http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/
------------------------------------------------------------
Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites
==========================
********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)
Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!
#1 Stranger
Do NOT Reply to this automated e-Letter: E-Mail replies to this message will not be seen.
To Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html
---------------------------------------
MARCH FUN
Time For Some Strange Fun !
------------------------
Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html
------------------------
NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:
http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_7532.html
DANGEROUS SPORTS - STRANGE BASE JUMPERS & SKYDIVERS !
http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_7810.html
STRANGE SPORTS MASCOTS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_10203.html
NEW! WWI & WWII - STRANGE RAZZLE DAZZLE CAMOUFLAGE PAINT
http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/news_4771.html
WHY HUSBANDS, BOYFRIENDS AND MEN GET INTO TROUBLE
http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_9720.html
STRANGE OLDE SHIPS AND OCEAN VESSELS - GREAT LAKES
==================================
Strange Insults About Men & Women:
A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice. - Phillip Marlowe
A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all. - James Boswell
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford
Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland
Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields
Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking. - Rupert Hughes
Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in. - Katharine Whitehorn
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. - Elizabeth Taylor
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - The Unofficial Drivers Test/Quiz
The Unofficial Drivers Test
We've all seen it. People change when they get behind the wheel of a car.
So now, to profile your personality, here is the special Driving Test...
1: Which part of your car wears out most often?
a: the wiper blades
b: the belts
c: the horn
2: Automatic door locks are good for...
a: security
b: convenience
c: messing with the heads of people trying to get in
3: I hate the rain because...
a: it lowers visibility and makes for less safe conditions
b: I answered (a) to question #1
c: I just washed my car
4: Please select the statement that best describes you.
a: I have never written in the dust on someone's car
b: I have written "wash me" in the dust on someone's car
c: I have drawn genitalia in the dust on someone's car
5: The "bright" setting on your headlights is for...
a: dark, poorly lit roads
b: flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c: revenge!
6: I have enough power in my car stereo system to...
a: get it loud enough to drown out road noise
b: get it headbanging loud for my Metallica CD
c: cause permanent hearing loss to anyone within ten feet
7: How many times have you been pulled over for speeding in the last year?
a: zero or one, because I'm generally a safe driver
b: two or three, because I've had some unlucky breaks
c: before or after they took my license away?
8: What hand gesture do you use most while driving?
a: "go ahead"
b: "thank you"
c: "@#!*&%^!"
9: When a bicyclist is next to you, you should...
a: be aware of them
b: speed up and get past them
c: open the door
10: Your rear view mirror is for...
a: watching for approaching cars
b: watching for approaching police cars
c: checking your hair
11: If you are driving and you begin to feel very sleepy, you should...
a: pull off to the side of the road and rest
b: stop at the next convenience mart and get a liter of coffee or Mountain Dew
c: drive faster
12: The Highway Patrol exists to...
a: ensure the safety of all motorists
b: issue as many tickets as possible
c: keep donut shops in business
13: You are supposed to signal a turn or lane change...
a: 50 feet prior
b: 25 feet prior
c: right after you do it
14: If I had a lot of money, I'd spend it on...
a: a minivan
b: a really cool sports car or 4-wheeler
c: bail
15: The best thing about a chauffeured limousine is...
a: I don't have to drive
b: I can stretch out, relax, and have a drink
c: leaning out the open sunroof and shouting at and/or flashing people
How to score the quiz:
Give yourself one point for every A, two for every B, and three for
every C. Tally up the points and consult the list below.
15-24 Points
You're a good driver. You watch the speed limit, remain calm, and
observe not only the rules of the road, but also the etiquette. And
since you drive so safely and so politely, you'll live a long time.
Long enough to decelerate with each passing decade until you're one of
those old people in a big car, going ten miles under the speed limit
in the fast lane and pissing all the rest of us off.
25-35 Points
Hey! Joe Average! You're a decent driver without being boring. You
get where you're going fast without too much danger. In fact, you're
the type of person we all like to ride with. Well, all of us except
your mother, because "you're going too fast! Watch out for that car
in front of you! You're going to kill us all!"
36-45 Points
Remember in driver's education class when they told us to drive
defensively? You're the reason.
==================================
Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
==================================
STRANGE AND OUTRAGEOUS FASHIONS - FORMAL MEN'S SUITS - 10 YEARS APART - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194503.html
STRANGE OLDE TYME GAS STATIONS - BOMBER HAS FULL SCALE WWI B-24 BOMBER OVER TOP OF STATION! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/194678.html
STRANGE HIGHWAY VANDALISM IN CANADA - OVERPASS MESSAGE - BE HAPPY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194686.html
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STRANGE FINAL WISHES - AT THIS MANS FUNERAL HE HAD DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS CHEERING HIM ON TO THE NEXT LIFE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/194679.html
STRANGE RARE FINDS - WOMAN BOUGHT OLDE MOVIE POSTER FROM ANTIQUES DEALER - A VERY VALUABLE "ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT!" - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194680.html
STRANGE CELEBRITIES - CHECK OUT THE MANY ACTORS AND THE FAMOUS PEOPLE THEY PORTRAYED! - LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THEM IN PERSON! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/194681.html
STRANGE AERIAL PHOTOS - AMAZING COLORFUL TULIP FIELDS OF LISSE, THE NETHERLANDS - WOW! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/194682.html
STRANGE COLLEGE SPRING BREAK PIXS - EVERY OUTSIDE DECK OF THIS HIGH RISE HOTEL IS PARTYING! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194683.html
STRANGE INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS - CHECKOUT THIS CHINESE APPLE iPHONE ASSEMBLY BUILDING WITH THE SUICIDE NETS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/194685.html
WINTER OF 2015 SNOW FUN - SCARY SHORELINE ICE CREEPING TOWARD HOUSE DRIVEN BY THE WIND! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/194585.html
DARWIN AWARD NOMINEE - MORON PUTS FLAME TO SEWER GAS LEAKING FROM MANHOLE COVER - EXPLOSION BLOWS LID SKY HIGH! - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/194672.html
STRANGE MOTORCYCLES - 3 LOTUS C-01 DESIGNED BY PERSON WHO CREATED THE TRON LEGACY BIKES! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/194673.html
STRANGE PRODUCTS - BABY BOLOGNA CALLED ALEX'S MEAT! WITH HIS BABY PICTURE ON IT! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/194674.html
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STRANGE AND OUTRAGEOUS SHOES - LIL HANDBAG SHOES! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/194529.html
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STRANGE SELFIES - GOOFY PEOPLE TAKING DUMB PHOTOS! - ICE FLOE FOOLS FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/194347.html
==================================
The Featured Pix Category This Week - SP - CRIMINAL MUG SHOT - Police Photos - Crime Scene - Evidence
http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/100379_1.html
==================================
The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
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- Strange Motorcycle Facts - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/168715.html
- 20 Hilarious School Exam Answers - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/168997.html
==================================
The Featured New Category This Week - SP - CRIMINAL MUG SHOT - Police Photos - Crime Scene - Evidence
http://www.strangepolice.com/content/category/112_1.html
==================================
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Freitag, 20. März 2015
[b3ta] Birds do it bees do it, let's get eaten by a massive spider
This Week:
* HOUSEMATES - from Hell
* BLADERUNNER - props on show
* SHIT ROBOTS - being shit
-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving our
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | breath and
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| going blue"
B3ta email 656 - 20th Mar 2015
Read this issue pretending to be bus:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue656
Friends : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Enemies : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------------
: SPONSORED LINK
Don't buy Farage's book but do read the reviews
This week Farage published his new book today
and nearly 500 people have reviewed in an orgy
of mockery and sock puppet defences. Best
review? "A poundshop meinkampf"
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1849548633/b3ta-21
>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
-------------------------------------------------
: ADD B3TA ON FACEBOOK
OK about 8 years late but we've decided to make
a page on The Facebook - in theory it'll show
frontpaged images and we'll also use it to
announce newsletters, challenges and the
Question of the Week.
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
Next week we hope to launch our MySpace page.
-------------------------------------------------
: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Stuff! Nonsense!
* DINOSAURS BY RATHERGOOD - Joel writes, "This
is definitely the best thing we have ever made.
Definitely. I'd really like someone to
commission us to make more of these. They are
enormous fun to do but too time-consuming to
keep doing them without financial help innit."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Dinosaurs_Terrible_Lizards:2
* CATCHPHRASE QUIZ - davidhomfray writes, "I've
rejigged something I made a while ago, so it now
works/fits nicely on mobile devices... Well, it
works /fits nicely on the devices I've tested it
on, anyways."
http://stoopido.hostoi.com/TCCQMobile.html
* VOYAGE INTO THE SHARD - Pig Face Turnip
investigates...
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mysteries_of_The_Deep_3
-------------------------------------------------
: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Housemates from Hell III
Last week we asked for more horrors that you'd
lived with. The smelly, the oversexed and the
socially inept seem attracted to you lot for
some reason:
http://b3ta.com/questions/housematesIII
* KNICKER-BOILER - "My (now) wife shared a
house with a girl who thought the only way to
keep her knickers clean was to boil them. In
the saucepan you normally cook your pasta in,
stirring them with the big wooden spoon from
the kitchen drawer.
"When challenged, she irritatedly said that
she'd been using that pot and spoon for months
and no-one had complained about it yet."
(Smale)
* POOR KEVIN - "I shared a flat with Joel
Veitch once. He wasted loads of electricity
because he couldn't sleep without the fan
heater on and once dismembered a rabbit in the
kitchen and left a bloody message on the walls,
"Clean the kitchen you scummy bastards."
"However I rather liked him and encouraged him
to behave very badly indeed which means we
were probably the housemates from hell to the
other guy there. Sorry Kevin." (rob)
* ACROTWAT - "We'd known each other since we
were 5 and we were best mates. She'd had a
troubled upbringing and she was always looking
for validation and attention.
"So when some friends came over and she wasn't
the centre of attention she ran off to her
room. And came back dressed in a bikini and a
raincoat.
"And proceeded to do cartwheels through the
living room. Straight through a glass door.
Straight to A&E." (Nanny Pat)
>> This Week - Sexual Disasters <<
Tell us the tales of your sexual disasters. We
won't judge. We'll just get people to vote on
how awful your life has been so far:
http://b3ta.com/questions/sexcapes/
-------------------------------------------------
: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* BUY A PENIS LOGO - Jimski writes, "Good to
see the newsletter back - it's a little ray of
light on a Friday. Anyway, just saw this and I
thought you may have taken on a new career...."
* ALIEN VS POOH - a literary mash-up that'll
probably end up published by Penguin.
http://godxiliary.com/alienvspooh/
* NICE TO SEE WIKIPEDIA KEEPING A LIST - of
musicians bottled off stage.
* MODELS AND PROPS FROM BLADERUNNER - all this
would be CGI now and therefore rubbish.
http://imgur.com/a/mv8qf/layout/blog
* ARE YOU OLD? PRINT THIS OUT FOR YOUR (WO)MAN
CAVE - post-punk heroes reimagined as Marvel
heroes.
-------------------------------------------------
You've got until 20th April to reg to vote in
#ge2015 if you haven't already. Remember: you
can't spoil your ballot with shit and piss if
you're not registered in first place.
https://www.gov.uk/register-to-vote
-------------------------------------------------
: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like a Casio Watch TV but without the strap
* THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE COMING UP ON SOME VERY
HARD DRUGS - he's going to have a sore head in
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Morning_Ravers:2
* SPONGEBOB FEELS THE BASS - it's basically a
kids' TV drugs special this week.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Spongebob_bass_pants
* DESIGNERS USE PHOTOSHOP 1.0 - ok this is an
ad for Adobe wank but it made us nostalgic.
Now get some writers to use WordPerfect 5.1 -
their main problem would be not being able to
look at Twitter to lift stories.
* SHIT ROBOTS BEING SHIT - a compilation that'll
amuse you, lolling you into a false sense of
security before the singularity happens.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1286999
-------------------------------------------------
: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Ok, not funny and not cornery
* Paulsli asks, "Have you ever come across a
more aptly-named solicitor?"
http://www.wrighthassall.co.uk
* Notorious P I G writes, "I was inspired by
your latest medical funny name, my memory dug up
a distant recollection that I sniggered at
whilst a wee small lad, (make sure you check out
his speciality)."
-------------------------------------------------
: THE BULLSHIT PUBLISHED ON AMAZON THESE DAYS
Well, it's sort of amusing
The ease of self-publishing on Amazon and the
fact people will send around funny-sounding
Amazon products on social media has opened a
publishing opportunity.
It would appear more and more people are
putting out bizarro sex novels, presumably not
because they are sexually excited by toasters
but because they reckon making people laugh
will earn them a few quid.
And three is a trend:
* POUNDED BY THE GAY FEDORAS
Looks like someone is laughing at Men's Rights
Activists. Which is fair enough - they are
laughable.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00UQNCM2U/b3ta-21
* CONQUERED BY CLIPPY
Actually the sequel to 'Taken by the Tetris
Blocks', looking forward to 'Mounted by Manic
Miner'
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00UJ01WBW/b3ta-21
* TAKEN BY THE TOASTER
We mentioned this one last week, written by a
B3tan.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00TMVO2GG/b3ta-21
------------------------------------------------
: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'Cats in film' challenge
Last week we asked to see feline infused
cinematic masterpieces.
Your favourites included:
* Werecat: John Landis' London classic. (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11139783
* Spinner: Do Androids dream of Electric cats
(Clueless Egg Cunt)
http://b3ta.com/board/11139583
* Beauty: Nice nipple coverage. (Shallows)
http://b3ta.com/board/11139781
All these images, and a load more can be found
here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/catfilms/
>> New challenge: Music Sequels <<
Films are always getting follow ups, songs and
albums less so. We're fixing that this week
with Nevermind 2, Return to the Dark Side of
the Moon and many more...
http://b3ta.com/challenge/musicsequels/
-------------------------------------------------
Winners: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Sinners: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------------
THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by MrRoborobot,
tubaman, Frogbeat, fred zeppelin, sinisterduck,
peeliochet, jonofthesouth, PhosphorBurnedEyes.
Image challenge by HappyToasy. QOTW via
McChinaman, Ms Shenanigans & PhillieJoe.
-------------------------------------------------
SHAVING TIP:
Monkeon writes, "I read in Neil Gaiman's blog
that if you want a clean shave, then rub your
stubble with hair conditioner, leave for a
couple of minutes and then shave. I tried it
last night, and it really works."
__._,_.___
Posted by: rob@b3ta.com
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