Freitag, 12. Oktober 2012

[b3ta] "Joke free for legal reasons"

 

This Week:
* COCKS - Add them to your photos
* HATE MAIL - People want to be insulted
* BABIES - Slowed down, at last

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the whale
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | until we've finished
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| our chips.. together"

B3ta email 550 - 12 Oct 2012

Read this issue backwards & summon the Devil:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue550

Hugs : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Shrugs : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: SPONSORED LINK
Pre-order Paper White Amazon Kindle

We're very excited that the Paper White Kindle
is coming to the UK for the 25th October. This
is a backlit Kindle so you can read the fucking
thing in bed without having to attach a stupid
snake light to it which looks like shit.
Apparently better resolution too but we don't
remember the old one being low resolution - so
62% more pixels to read your 50 Shades Of Grey
mum porn.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B007OZO03M/b3ta-21


>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Making fun, that's what

>> Immature Bokeh <<
"Online communities for photography are either
really twee, or po-faced," claims
nachimir. "I thought they could definitely do
with more knobs and bollocks." For the
uninitiated, bokeh is that photography thing
where lights are surrounded by lots of little
shapes. Our fave of this lot is the little cloud
of fucks.
http://www.immaturebokeh.co.uk/

>> Weebl's Christmas Nativity <<
"Me and Weebl united once again!" rejoices
Wonchop. This is an excellent thing and
extremely seasonal. Sadly, not this season, but
that's still a quality.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Weebls_Christmas_Nativity

>> Goodbye Max X <<
"The last Max film," rasps Sheep! "Although not
the last film I'll ever make..."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Branding

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Driven to Madness

We wanted to know what drives you up the wall
these days. Beyond Comic Sans, that is:
http://b3ta.com/questions/driventomadness/

Here's a top 0x0A:

* People who talk during a film.
* Women who shriek when they meet.
* Wheelie luggage twats.
* People who pout in photos.
* God botherers.
* Litter louts.
* Those bastards who put coffee in the sugar.
* Men that tell you what women like.
* People who use hexadecimal by default.

... and ...

* HKLP: "Holds Knife Like Pen"

>> This Week - THE BEST THING I'VE BUILT <<
What have you made that makes you proud? It
doesn't have to work, just make you feel good.
http://b3ta.com/questions/bestthingivebuilt/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> We really want a 3D printer <<
Listening to the 80s pop song Twist in my
Sobriety the other day and noticed a pretty and
delightfully melancholy oboe part. Googling the
player we've found he's called Malcolm Messiter
and has recently been using a 3D printer to mend
his harpsichord. What a chap.
http://bit.ly/TlucPq

>> Robot cloud analyser <<
In some wondrous meeting of science and whimsy
the Pareidolic Robot spends its time scanning
clouds for formations that look like faces.
Would it spoil the magic to make it look for
sky cocks?
http://www.di12.rca.ac.uk/projects/pareidolic-robot/

>> Film versus Music <<
Website randomly links a scene from a film to a
random bit of music. Yakety Sax vs Commando
worked well for us. In fact anything with Yakety
Sax added is immediately funny - the more
serious the source material the better.
http://film-v-music.com/

>> One night stand schadenfreude <<
A site where women can put up texts from men to
ask "what do they mean?" Here's a tip - when
people don't make an effort to re-connect, 99
times out of a 100 they aren't bothered. Painful
to read.
http://hetexted.com/

>> How much do cats actually kill?? <<
A lot apparently. They are murdering shits who
murder shit.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/cats_actually_kill

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Because YouTube needs more traffic

>> Hate mail <<
The Dalai Farmer writes: "This project from
misterbingo sends beautifully-crafted abuse to
people via the near-forgotten medium of
postcard. Some of the brilliantly abusive
content is shown off in this video which no
doubt has b3ta appeal." Long but rather
interesting.
http://vimeo.com/34951319/

Dalai also writes: "Oh and further to my
previous email, he has a book out with a
selection of delicious abuse within."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0718159039/b3ta-21

>> Alcohol Vaporizer Bong <<
If you're bored with the necessity of having to
drink alcohol maybe you'd like to try inhaling
it instead? Apparently gets you drunk very
quickly with the added fun of increased risk of
acute alcohol poisoning. Have fun kids and don't
drink the liquid nitrogen cocktails on Freshers
Week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs2CjmOvqSA

>> Bottles Beware! <<
Be-bearded fatty strikes fear into the hearts of
water containers everywhere, with his quick-draw
sword and knife techniques. Why is it always
water in these vids - surely a huge balloon of
blood would be more impressive? Also, he is very
fast with a sword and very, very fat.
http://b3ta.com/links/Bottles_Beware

>> The shape of a sound <<
Salt, sprinkled on a vibrating tray, forms very
different patterns, depending on the pitch of
the sound - surprisingly quickly, too.
http://youtu.be/DGSU5rcHmRQ

>> Slowed-down Babies <<
Giggling toddler, at half-speed, sounds like an
over-enthusiastic and slow-witted giant man.
Still infectious though. When it comes to
crying, one commenter sums it up best as "sounds
like generic retarded cyclops."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf-axyR2z5w
http://bit.ly/Tlup5d

>> Peculiar anime duet <<
No idea what's going on here, but it's highly
odd and rather enjoyable.
http://b3ta.com/links/_:99

>> Bad Lip Reading Presidential debate <<
The Bad Lip Reading crew turn Obama and Romney's
head-to-head into a beautiful, surreal musical.
"I'm not a robot. I wish...!"
http://b3ta.com/links/Eye_of_the_Sparrow

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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Redefining funny as unfunny since 1973

* SINGAPORE LADY - we just hope she brushes her
teeth.
http://www.nie.edu.sg/profile/chew-shit-fun

* COCK CHEM - K2k6 writes, "Part of my job
involves testing materials for polycyclic
aromatic hydrocarbons such as
benzo(k)fluoranthene. To the untrained eye, its
chemical structure just looks like, well, a
chemical structure. But to a b3tard..."
http://www.chemspider.com/Chemical-Structure.8804.html

* THORNTONS FUN - wideeye writes, "Saw this in
my local co-op... Interesting phrasing there, Mr
Thornton."
http://bit.ly/PrPfUZ

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: FRIDAY GAME
Draw your own computer game

Deceptively simple playing fields and controls -
mindless fun ensues - we like it mainly for the
DIY art, extremely reminiscent of Line Rider
circa 2006 - but executed using HTML5 canvas
stuff which means Adobe hate it and will cry
flash vector tears if you play it.
http://canvasrider.com/tracks

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Make unhappy endings happy - the results!

Your favourites included:

* HAPPY SE7ENTH BIRTHDAY! What's in the box?
(HappyToast)
http://b3ta.com/board/10857705

* ROBOT POSTS JOKE ON FACEBOOK - satire totally
unconnected to us. (Monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/10860230

* AND THEY ALL SHINED ON - if only Kubrick had
lived to make this director's cut. (Brian
O'Blivion)
http://b3ta.com/board/10858600

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/happy-unhappy/

>> New challenge: New torture devices <<
This week's challenge is to invent new and
painful ways of extracting information from
people. Make these foul contraptions as
revolting, unlikely and cruel as possible.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/torture/popular/

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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* iPHONE KEYBOARD BLOKE GETS KICKSTARTER CASH -
Craig Rothwell writes, "It looks like it could
hit $200k which is just amazing and $50k over
what we had hoped for. Those of you who
supported us early on really helped get the
momentum going! Kickstarter is an amazing
resource for start ups. I really think it will
change how small businesses are funded when it
launches in the UK. If you have an idea, I'd
start planning your project now - the first ones
on the UK site are bound to get enormous press
attention."
http://kck.st/PpPyKw

Also Craig mentions, "I made an alternative
video for it too, which we didn't use (for
obvious reasons) but which is more entertaining:"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWAOQW5yGZY

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* SOLUTIONS TO FACIAL HAIR - shaving is just so
1990s.

* LEARNING TO SEE UNDERWATER - we're convinced
if we swim enough underwater we'll get better at
it. Have any of you done this?

* A USE FOR HEAD-LICE - we've got loads of them.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Bumchums : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Bumbastards: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by *redacted* & David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by tubaman, murray,
UltimateMonkey, skeltonator, Tusk, Herb Alpert's
Taxi Driver, ok, chompedhomas, Linbox, haxworth.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is
QOTW bloke. Subjlols via Munsta.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Take lots of exercise and eat properly. The list
of problems it helps with is almost limitless;
depression, not being able to sleep, anxiety,
confidence, longevity, heart disease. You name
it basically. You mum was right.

__._,_.___
Recent Activity:
.

__,_._,___

Mittwoch, 10. Oktober 2012

VOL 1154 - Oct 10, 2012 - Strange Southern Drawl Words Translated

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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OCTOBER SPECIALS


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_9053.html
STRANGE PET CEMETERIES & TOMBSTONES

http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/news_8100.html
RALLY CARS & TRUCKS - WHEELS OFF THE GROUND!

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_10053.html
DOGS TAKING A RIDE - ON MOTORCYCLE AND IN CARS AND TRUCKS!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10623.html
WHAT IS SEXIER THAN LEOPARD SKIN TOPS - BIKINI'S - DRESSES?

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10833.html
STRANGE VEHICLES - BUBBLE TOPS - SHAPES - BOATS - BUBBLE BODY STYLES - LIMOS!

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Strange "Why I'm So Great" quotes:

I'm the Connie Francis of rock 'n' roll. - Elton John

I mean, it's unheard of for somebody to hit 70 home runs, so I'm like in awe of myself right now. - St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire after finishing the baseball season with a two-homer day, giving him a record 70 for the year. Sept. 27, 1998.

I say I'm Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin all wrapped up into one. If I die early ... I'll be just like those guys. - Dennis Rodman, 1997

I'm not an egomaniac like a lot of people say. But I am the world's best dancer, that's for sure. - Michael Flatley

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults. - David Lee Roth

I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man. - Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher. - Linda Evangelista, 1997

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Southern Drawl Words Translated

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:


HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE EUROPEAN CLASSICS - 1938 PEUGEOT 402 ECLIPSE DECAPOTEABLE - STRANGE CONVERTIBLE HARD TOP FLIPS INTO TRUNK - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/185046.html


STRANGE SPIDERMAN CUSTOM CAR - SPIDEY CAR - INCREDIBLE PAINT JOB - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185282.html


MAN HAS REALLY EVOLVED AS COMPARED TO SAVAGES AND ABORIGINES - WELL MAYBE KNOW - SCARY SPIKEY HAIR! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185285.html


SCARY CELEBRITY MUG SHOTS OF SOME OF THE BEST MUSICIANS AND ROCK STAR IN HISTORY! - FROM FRANK SINATRA TO ELVIS AND ON TO TODAY - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/185286.html


STRANGE MILITARY DISPLAY - 1915 AUXILIARY REMOUNT DEPOT NO 326, CAMP CODY, DEMING NEW MEXICO - 650 OFFICERS AND ENLISTED MEN - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/185287.html


STRANGE FORMULA 1 RACING GEAR AND TEAMS - FACT SHEET ON TECHNOLOGY - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/185095.html


STUPID TRAFFIC TRICKS - MOTORCYCLIST TRIES TO SNEAK BETWEEN CARS IN TRAFFIC JAM - GETS NAILED BY CAR CHANGING LANES! - OUCH! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/185289.html


STRANGE MULTI LEVEL FLOATING ISLAND VACATION HOME - DON'T LIKE THE VIEW? JUST MOVE YOUR ISLAND! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/185290.html


STRANGE OLDE RUSSIAN MILITARY EQUIPMENT GRAVEYARD - HELICOPTERS - TANKS - FUEL VEHICLES - SCOUT VEHICLES - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/185291.html


STRANGE OLDE MOVIE STARZ - HOT MAMIE VAN DOREN - WASHING THE WHITE WALLS OF HER FANCY SPORTS CAR WITH WIRE WHEELS - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185292.html


NFL FOOTBALLER CELEBRATION FAIL - SPIKES THE BALL WHICH BOUNCES UP INTO HIS CROTCH JUST AS OPPONENT DECKS HIM! - ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/185293.html


BRONC RIDER HANGS ON TIGHT TO BUCKING BRONCO - TAIL FLYING! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/185109.html


STRANGE OLDE BUSES AND OBSERVATION VEHICLES - 1954 CITROEN U55 CURRUS CITYRAMA DOUBLE DECKER BUS - USED IN PARIS DURINF 1950-60'S - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/185294.html


STRANGE AUTO ACCESSORIES - CUSTOM GOLD STEERING WHEEL - TWO 45 CALIBER AUTOMATICS FORM THE INSIDES - IF YOU HONK THE HORN WHAT HAPPENS? - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/184998.html


TITANIC MAIDEN VOYAGE 3RD CLASS STEERAGE TICKET! APRIL 10, 1912 - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/185261.html


AMAZING ANIMAL CAMOUFLAGE - OWL BLENDS IN PERFECTLY WITH TREE BARK WHILE SITTING ON A BRANCH! - WOW! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/185295.html


WHERE'S WALDO - TEXAS A&M FOOTBALL STADIUM FILLED TO CAPACITY - YOU FIND HIM - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/185296.html


STRANGE DEFENSEIVE PRODUCTS - DON'T LET THEM SNATCH YOUR iPONE 5 - ATTACHABLE BRASS KNUCKLES! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/185300.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - WATER SPORTS - SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - DIVING - SURFING - KAYAK

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100661_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange IgNobel Awards Honor 'Dead' Man, Murphy's Law - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/185262.html


Jokes About Canada and Those Goofy Canadians - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/120729.html


Strange Actual Calls to Information in England - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/125486.html


You Might Be A Physics Major if........... - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/127882.html


Strange English For Tourists - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/103452.html


Strange Laws Around The World - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/104346.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SS - WATER SPORTS - SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - DIVING - SURFING - KAYAK

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/136_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites


Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!
a

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings


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Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Sonntag, 7. Oktober 2012

VOL 1153 - Oct 07, 2012 - 33 Strange Erudite Concepts

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

OCTOBER SPECIALS


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_225.html
MILITARY MAGIC - THE AMAZING BLUE ANGELS & THUNDERBIRDS

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_454.html
DOGS DOING WHAT DOGS DO - CAUSING TROUBLE !

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_321.html
SLIPPING AND SLIDING - WINTER SPORTS FUN

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_1684.html
STRANGE TRICYCLES & UNICYCLES & BIKE STUFF

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10835.html
CLASSIC OLDE CARS - 1950'S - 1960'S RARE CONCEPT CARS - FEW SEEN BEFORE!

==================================

Strange Golf Quotes:

These greens are so fast, I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Kevin Costner

I don't fear death..., but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Erudite Concepts

STRANGE ERUDITE CONCEPTS

If you're not familiar with the work of Boswell D. Rabbitsmith, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems: (He also makes his living as a comedian by the name of Steve Wright....)


1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How can you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything seems to be coming your way, maybe you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not being smart enough to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... so far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death...twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

For ALL 33 go here:
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/159170.html#theContent


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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CRAZY CROC PROBLEMS - FROM CROCODILES TO HUGE BLOW UP CROC SHOES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185269.html


STRANGE WORLD RECORD HOLDERS - MAN HAS THE LONGEST EAR HAIR EVER! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/185270.html


STRANGE HIGH TECH MEETS LOW TECH - iPAD WITH STANDARD MANUEL TYPEWRITER KEYBOARD! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/185271.html


STRANGE ALCOHOL USAGE CHART - HOW MUCH CAN YOU HOLD? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185027.html


MISSION IMPOSSIBLE - THIS CRAZY LADIES LONG NAILS MAKE PLAYING THE PIANO IMPOSSIBLE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185272.html


STRANGE BUSINESS ADVERTISING - JUST A WHIFF OF GRANDMA'S MUFFIN WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL! MEN FROM ALL OVER KNEW IT? - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/185273.html


STRANGE WOODEN BOAT SHAPED TOURING CAR IN FRONT OF WASHINGTON DC FEDERAL BUILDING - NOTE THE CANNONS AND ANCHOR BUMPERS! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/185274.html


WORLD'S BEST TEAR DROP CAMPER TRAILER - FULL STAND UP BAR STOCKED WITH LIQUOR - WINE AND BEER TAP! - ALL NEED IS A SHORT BAR TENDER! - PASS OUT IN THE BACK! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185278.html


AERIAL REFUELING CH-53 SEA STALLION WITH ANOTHER WAITING IN THE WINGS - BELOW IS THE SUPPORT CARRIER - AWESOME SHOT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185279.html


STRANGE EMERGENCY WALL UNIT - IN CASE OF ZOMBIES BREAK GLASS - HIGH POWERED GUNS - BULLETS - MACHETE - HAND GRENADE - ROPE! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/185280.html


RUSSIAN SUKHOI SU-27 LANDING DEPLOYED OLD TATTERED HOLEY CHUTE! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/185226.html


STRANGE FORMULA 1 RACING GEAR AND TEAMS - NEEDLE NOSED LAMBO - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/185089.html


STRANGE BEAUTIFUL WATERFALLS - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/185237.html


STRANGE TRAVEL LOCATIONS - STRANGE LITTLE TURNIP ROCK-ISLAND - 2 - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/184995.html


STRANGE HISTORICAL EVENTS - AUGUST 7, 1919 CHARLES GODFREY FLIES HIS BI-PLANE (NIEUPORT 11) THROUGH THE ARC DE TRIUMPH IN PARIS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185259.html


FIRST WALMART OPENED BY SAM WALTON 1962 - WALTON FIVE AND DIME! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/185260.html


1958 CUSTOM CORVETTE - AMAZING PAINT & PIPES - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185045.html


STRANGE BELLY BICYCLE - LAY DOWN FLAT AND HEAD DOWN HILL - PEDAL HARD STEER WITH YOUR HANDS TOGETHER AND PRAY! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185281.html


==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/31_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- New Strange Tech Support Horror Stories...... - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/185077.html


- Strange Redundant Redundancies - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/138063.html


- Words You Hear A Lot in the Office and Their Strange Origins - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/138319.html


- Strange But "Punny" Puns - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/138774.html


- Strange Things a True Southerner Knows… - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/138816.html


- 25 Strange Resume' Blunders - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/139080.html




==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites


Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!
a

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings


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------------------------


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Mittwoch, 3. Oktober 2012

VOL 1152 - Oct 03, 2012 - 9 Strange Uses for Beer

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

OCTOBER SPECIALS


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_5446.html
STRANGE CHURCH "MARQUEE'S" AND SIGNS

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/news_3423.html
STRANGE 'SHORT & TALL PEOPLE FROM AROUND THE WORLD

http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/news_7824.html
CHECK OUT THE NEW CELEBS CATEGORY - TV NEWSCASTERS - ANCHORS & PUNDITS! FOXY BLONDES

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_3126.html
DRIVING WHILE 'BLONDE' - 'SPECIAL' BLONDE ONLY EVENTS

==================================

Strange Olde Celeb Quotes:

She's got a great looking husband, a little boy and all the money in the world. She hasn't got the looks, but you can't have everything. -- Jordan (on Victoria Beckham, Posh Spice)

I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair. -- Bette Davis (Cabin in the Cotton, 1932)

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. -- Dean Martin

Joan Collins unfortunately can't be with us tonight. She's busy attending the birth of her next husband. -- John Parrott

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money. -- Kevin Meaney

He must be the only man alive who can eat an apple through a tennis racket. -- Gary Lineker (during the 2002 World Cup, on Ronaldo)

I am definitely not scared of Mike Tyson. I am at the top of the food chain and he is looking to knock me off. Mike's an arrogant imbecile. He sounds like a cartoon character. -- Lennox Lewis

He'd make a lovely corpse.-- Charles Dickens (Martin Chuzzlewit, Chapter 25)

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees. -- Joan Rivers (on Marie Osmond)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - 9 Strange Uses for Beer


There are many different uses for beer besides getting drunk.

There are many useful uses for beer besides drinking it and having fun. Most of us just enjoy drinking beer, but the truth is, it can be used in a variety of different ways. Especially when you don't want to throw away any extra beer you have. Here are just 9 examples of what you can do with them.

1. Marinate meat in it - Use beer instead of wine to marinate your meat. Not only does it taste better, but it also makes the meat softer and more tender.

2. Help grass grow easier - pour beer on those irritating brown spots on your lawns to help your grass grow. The grass absorbs the nutrients, sugar and energy it needs to be able to grow.

3. Kill slugs & snails - Fill containers or wide-mouthed bottles or something of the sort with beer about a quarter to half way up. Then bury these in your garden. The slugs or snails will be attracted to them and drown.

4. Kill mice - This may sound a little far-fetched but fill a bucket or pail up about a third of the way with cheap beer with a board or something leading to the rim at the top. The mice, smelling this, will jump in, and not be able to climb out.

5. Calm a stomach-ache - Just sit down and drink a beer. This carbonated drink will settle your stomach right down. The alcohol helps reduce the pain as well. Don't use if you have an ulcer or gastritis.

6. Polish gold - Wet a piece of cloth with some beer and start rubbing your gold (no stones) to get the shine back. Use a second cloth to dry it.

7. Bathe in it - Add a few cans of beer into your bath. Believe it or not, it will do you good. The yeasts are good for softening and soothing the skin.

8. Polish wood furniture - Let some beer sit until it goes flat, then, dampen a washcloth with it, and rub your wooden furniture. This will polish it, and give it a more shiny and healthy look.

9. Cook with it - When boiling shrimp, try using beer for the cooking liquid. Season as you wish, but don't overcook.


==================================

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STRANGE HAND CARVED WOODEN AUTO DASHBOARD AND INSTRUMENT PANEL - WHOLE UNIT - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185006.html


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ONCE IN A LIFE TIME FOAM COVERED WAVES CREATE STRANGE SURFING EXPERIENCE - 2 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/184931.html


RHODE ISLAND MAN WINS $15,500 WITH RECORD-BREAKING 2,000 POUND PUMPKIN - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/185210.html


USAF F-18 PILOT HAS STRANGE CONVERSATION WITH IRAN AIR DEFENSE RADAR WHILE FLYING IN IRAQ - TRUE STORY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185211.html


STRANGE MILITARY EQUIPMENT - RUSSIAN "STILET" - ARMORED LASER VEHICLES ON TREADS - STAR WARS IN THE MILITARY! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/185212.html


STRANGE ATOMIC BOMB TESTS - TOURISTS COME TO VIEW EXPLOSION AND GET A LITTLE RADIATION! MA & PA! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/185223.html


RUSSIAN TU-160 STRATEGIC SWEPT WING BOMBER - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/185225.html


STRANGE FARM FUN - CUSTOM FORMULA ONE LAWN TRACTOR WITH SNOW BLADE! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/185229.html


STRANGE NEW McDONALD'S DRIVE IN ULSAN S. KOREA - LOOKS LIKE ALIEN SPACE SHIP! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/185230.html


STRANGE CHILD STARS - ALL GROWN UP - LACEY CHABERT - LOST IN SPACE - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/185231.html


STRANGE HISTORY OF THE WORLD MAP - ALL 4000 YEARS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/185232.html


STRANGE BREED OF FISH HAS HUMAN TEETH! WHEN YOU GET A BITE FISHING - IT HURTS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/185233.html


STRANGE NIGHT SKY - F-18 SITS ON RUNWAY WITH PURPLE LIGHTNING OVERHEAD - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/185234.html


STRANGE MOTORCYCLE EQUIPMENT - AMAZING CLEAR GLASS GAS TANK - NEVER HAVE TO GUESS! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185235.html


STRANGE 1940 CHART DETAILING ALL 21 MAJOR MOTOR CAR COMPANIES AVAILABLE FOR NEW CARS! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/185236.html


STRANGE RODEOS AND PARADES - SHOW HORSE JUMPS STRAIGHT UP LAND ON HIS BACK WITH RIDER ABOARD! - ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/185102.html


STRANGE ORANGE AND BLACK MERCEDES BENZ TAXI CAB - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/184910.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - MOTORCYCLES - TRIKES - SIDECARS - CUSTOM - HARLEY'S - CHOPPERS - SCOOTERS - MOPEDS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100003_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

- Word Fun - If U Can Read This U R Special! - Only 55 out of 100 Can Solve This Puzzle! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/185017.html


- Strange Test - Are You From The Ghetto or Suburbs? - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/127887.html


- Strange Banana's - The Miracle Fruit? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/135030.html


- Strange Glossary - American vs English Meanings - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/119405.html


- Strange One Liners - Caution PUNS! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/120427.html


- Strange Uses For 'Bounce" Dryer Sheets - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/108809.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - MOTORCYCLES - TRIKES - SIDECARS - CUSTOM - HARLEY'S - CHOPPERS - SCOOTERS - MOPEDS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/115_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites


Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!
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------------------------


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Sonntag, 30. September 2012

VOL 1151 - Sept. 30, 2012 - Strange Oxy-Moronic Questions

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

SEPTEMBER SPECIALS


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_10203.html
WWI & WWII - STRANGE RAZZLE DAZZLE CAMOUFLAGE PAINT

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_671.html
STRANGE 'ART' FROM AROUND THE WORLD

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_2561.html
STRANGE BEER AND LIQUOR IMAGES

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_5124.html
STRANGE VEHICLES FOUND ON A RAILROAD TRACK!

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"The only difference between doctors and lawyers is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too." (Anton Chekhov)

"It's not the people who are in prison worry me. It's the people who aren't." (Arthur Gore)

"Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire." (George Bernard Shaw)

"Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking." (Bill Vaughan)

"When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living." (Helen Rowland)

"You mean apart from my own?" (Zsa Zsa Gabor, asked how many husbands she had had)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Oxy-Moronic Questions

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Check out all 28:
http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/175111.html#theContent



==================================

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==================================

STRANGE & DANGEROUS JOBS - SEXY REDHEAD STRAPS ON TO LARGE TARGET AND SPINS AROUND AS MAN THROWS KNIVES ALL AROUND HER BODY (SHE HOPES) - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/184909.html


STRANGE FAST FOOD ITEMS - BURGER KING HONG KONG - SQUID BLACK INK BUN FOR DELUXE HAMBURGER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185113.html


STRANGE FARM PRODUCE - STRANGE STRAIN OF MULTI COLORED CORN! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/185114.html


SCARY AERIAL PICTURE OF HUGE DEADLY WHIRLPOOL CREATED BY 2010 JAPAN EARTHQUAKE TSUNAMI - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/185115.html


STRANGE CELEBRITY BABY NAME CHART - THE BEST & WORST! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185116.html


STRANGE CELEBS - WHAT HAPPEN TO "TOP GUN" STARS - TOM CRUISE - KELLY MCGILLIS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185117.html


RARE CIVIL WAR GUN EMPLACEMENT PHOTO - 1ST VIRGINIA VOLUNTEERS - MOSTLY OFFICERS - NOTE GRAPE SHOT CANNON AMMO - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/185118.html


GREAT PICTURE OF NASA SHUTTLE ENDEAVOR ARRIVING IN ITS NEW RETIREMENT HOME IN LOS ANGELES - ATOP 747 WITH TWO MILITARY JET ESCORTS! AMAZING - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185119.html


STRANGE FOOTBALL FUN - INCREDIBLE ONE HANDED CATCH DIVING AND ROLLING ! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/185120.html


STRANGE GHOSTLY PHOTOGRAPHS - GHOST GIRL AT TOMBSTONE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185029.html


STRANGE FORMULA 1 RACING GEAR AND TEAMS - FLYING! - WHEELS OFF THE GROUND! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/185093.html


HUGE HORSES - MAN LEADS FOUR BIG CLYDESDALE WORK HORSES - FLUFFY LEGS AND HOOFS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/185107.html


STRANGE TRACTOR PULL - RED TRACTOR FLIPS OVER THE GREEN ONE! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/185110.html


CREATIVE FOOD FUN - AMAZING OWL CARVED FROM CANTALOUPE - WATERMELON - LETTUCE LEAVES - AMAZING - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/184957.html


FLOCK OF F-22'S - LINED UP ON THE RUNWAY! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/184965.html


STRANGE CUSTOM BMW - CRAZY BENT GULL WING DOORS - SPLIT ZIGZAG HOOD - FLIP TRUNK - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185111.html


STRANGE TRANSPARENT HEAD ON THE TROPICAL FISH - YOU CAN SEE HIS BRAIN! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/185121.html


STRANGE MILITARY JET FULL SPEED FLYBY AIR CRAFT CARRIER - FULL VAPOR CLOUD V CONE! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/185122.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - INSECTS - BUGS - SPIDERS - CREEPY CRAWLY THINGS!

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100638_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

25 Astoundingly Strange Lawsuits - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/185008.html


10 Strange Coincidences - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/177120.html


Strange In Flight Humor - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/176862.html


Strange Microwave Facts - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/110080.html


A Heart Warming Seniors Story - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/105236.html


- Strange & Famous Mothers - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/25674.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - INSECTS - BUGS - SPIDERS - CREEPY CRAWLY THINGS!

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/125_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All the "Strange" Family Websites


Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!
a

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings


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------------------------


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Mittwoch, 26. September 2012

VOL 1150 - Sept. 26, 2012 - Strange Office Fun - Top 25 Office Inspirational Posters

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

SEPTEMBER SPECIALS


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_10080.html
STRANGE CARNIVAL COSTUMES AND PARADE FLOATS - WILD!

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10047.html
CHILD LABOR HORROR STORIES - EARLY 1900'S PICTURES - COAL MINES - MANUFACTURING - MILLS - NEWSBOYS

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/news_10477.html
STRANGE WORKPLACE ACTION GIF'S - GOOFY OFFICE PROBLEMS - STRANGENESS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_8164.html
NEW - STRANGE OLDE TATTOOS - CLASSIC AND VINTAGE EXAMPLES

==================================

Strange "Women" Quotes:

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. [Wendy Liebman]

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. [Erma Bombeck]

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. [Sue Grafton]

I'm not going to vacuum 'till Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne Barr]

I think - therefore I'm single. [Lizz Winstead]

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." [Elayne Boosler]

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." [Maryon Pearson]

"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." [Gilda Radner]

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." [Gloria Steinhem]

"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." [Gloria Steinhem]

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Top 25 Office Inspirational Posters

TOP 25 SAYINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE ON THOSE OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

We put the "k" in "kwality."

If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

Plagiarism saves time.

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

We waste time, so you don't have to.

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

Succeed in spite of management.

Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day.

You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.

Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.


==================================

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==================================

US DESTROYER BARRY - MAIN SURFACE WEAPON THE 5 INCH GUN - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/184963.html


STRANGE OFFICE CUBES - HUGE LONG AQUARIUM PROVIDES SEPARATION BETWEEN WORK STATIONS - WATCH THE FISH! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/185064.html


B-52 BOMBER JUST A FEW FEET ABOUT THE BEACH - DANGEROUS LOW PASS! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/184930.html


STRANGE BIRD HOUSE CONDO - OVER 100 SEPARATE CONDOS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185066.html


STRANGE CELEBRITIES - HONEY BOO BOO "I SEE YOU!" - WEIRD ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/185067.html


STRANGE LAMBRETTA SCOOTER SIDE CAR WITH CONVERTIBLE TOP! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185068.html


STRANGE DANGERS - DEADLY WILD FIRES ADVANCES TOWARD BEACH RESORT - YOU BETTER BE CHECKING OUT SOON! - http://www.strangecosmosl.com/content/item/185071.html


AMAZING DANGEROUS SKIN DIVING EVENT CAUGHT ON TAPE - DIVER GRABS FISH JUST AS HUGE 6 FOOT FISH SWALLOWS THAT FISH AND THE DIVERS HAND! - WOW! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/185072.html


STRANGE GHOST PICTURE - ROBERT FERGUSON - SPIRITUAL TELEMETRY - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185028.html


STRANGE NEW FEMALE BRITISH DRILL TEAM - TRADITIONAL LARGE BLACK FUZZY HAT BUT TOTALLY DIFFERENT RED JACKET UNIFORMS! WOW! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185069.html


STRANGE OLDE MILITARY EXPERIMENTAL AIRCRAFT - VOUGHT V-173 FLYING PANCAKE - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/185070.html


STRANGE FRENCH AUTO FOR FEMALE ARAB IMMIGRANTS - FRENCH BURQUA CAR - http://www.strangevehicle.com/content/item/185073.html


STRANGE ALEC BALDWIN FIGHT POSTER - THE SILVER PANTHER? - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185074.html


STRANGE FORMAL CHAIR - PADDED SURFACES DEPICT HUMAN SKELETON BONES FOR CHEST AND HIPS. - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/185075.html


STRANGE SIBERIAN HORSE RACE ON RIVER BREAKS THROUGH THE ICE - HORSES AND RIDERS ALL FALL IN! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/184895.html


STRANGE 1953 LINCOLN CADILLAC LA CARRERA - WILD AIRCRAFT CANOPY ON TOP! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/185042.html


STRANGE OLDE MOTORHOMES - 1971 STARSTREAK - FUTURISTIC - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/185044.html


STRANGE OLDE CELEBRITY TOYS - 'CHER' MAKEUP CENTER - YOU DO HER HAIR AND MAKEUP! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/185076.html

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Sonntag, 23. September 2012

VOL 1149 - Sept. 23, 2012 - How 10 American Towns Got Their Strange Names

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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SEPTEMBER SPECIALS


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Strange Quotes About US Cities:

"If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later." - Will Rogers

"New York, the nation's thyroid gland." - Christopher Morley

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees." - David Letterman

"Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors." - Walter Winchell

"Loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose." - Nelson Algren

"Chicago - a pompous Milwaukee." - Leonard Louis Levinson

"Aside from the murders, DC has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." - Marion Barry

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - How 10 American Towns Got Their Strange Names

How 10 American Towns Got Their Strange Names

1. Hell, Michigan

If you've always wanted to see Hell freeze over, visit this place in winter, when the Highland Lake dam often gets icy enough to stop the water flow. In summer, when temperatures are moderate, the town has a "Satan's Holidays" festival and a road race called "Run to Hell." In October is the "Halloween in Hell" Celebration. The town got its name in 1841, when George Reeves, an early settler in this low, swampy place in southeast Michigan, was asked what the thought the town should be named. "I don't care," Reeves said. "You can name it 'Hell' if you want to."

2. Slapout, Alabama

Oscar Peeples, the town grocer in the early 1900s, was forever waiting on customers who asked for things he didn't have. "I'm slap out of it," Peeples would say. This central Alabama community, north of Montgomery, is now little more than a crossroads, with a church, bank, barber shop, and the tumbledown remains of Peeples' old store.

3. Noodle, Texas

In the late 1800s, Texans often used the word noodle to mean "nothing," which is exactly what they found when they arrived at this locale near Abilene. Now there are two churches, a store and an old gin.

For nearly a century, the population has held steady at about 40 people.

4. Joe, Montana

When quarterback Joe Montana signed on with the Kansas City Chiefs in 1993, a Missouri radio station urged the folk of Ismay, in southeast Montana near the North Dakota border, to change the town's name to "Joe." The sports-minded citizenry, all 22 of them, voted in favor of the change, and a new industry was born. In fact, money raised from selling, "Joe, Montana" souvenirs enabled the town to build a new fire station.

5. Lizard Lick, North Carolina

Since 1972, the residents of this town, 16 miles east of Raleigh, have held lizard races every fall to herald the farming community's unusual name. It dates back to the days when the area was home to a federally operated liquor still, and lizards were brought in to cut down on the insects. Traveling salesman noticed the creatures and dubbed the community Lizard Lick.

6. Chicken, Alaska

The village, in the Alaskan wild near the Canadian border, is named for a bird, but not the one you think. In the late 1800s, gold miners found a reliable meal in the abundance of ptarmigan, a grouse-like critter whose white feathers make it look, from a distance, like a chicken. When the townsfolk decided to incorporate in 1902, none of them knew how to spell ptarmigan. So they went with the look-alike Chicken to avoid the jokes of misspelled name would incur. Unfortunately, poultry jokes now abound. The town has a full-time population of about 30 people and mail delivery every Tuesday and Friday. There's a saloon, but no telephones or central plumbing. Incidentally, the ptarmigan is now the Alaska state bird.

7. Spot, Tennessee

A dot in the road about an hour west of Nashville, Spot was named by a sawmill operator who was always writing folks about business. One day, pen in hand, the sawmill operator sat at his desk, worrying over a letter from postal authorities wanting to know what to call the town. A spot of ink dropped onto the sawmill operator's white stationery, and the town had its name. By town, we mean a couple of houses and a ramshackle store.

8. Peculiar, Missouri

In the spring of 1868, Postmaster E.T. Thomson decided to name his town "Excelsior," but postal officials told him it was already taken. Thomson reapplied with new names, and received the same response time after time. Exasperated, he finally told postal officials to assign the town a unique name, one that was "sort of peculiar." Peculiar, near the Kansas border just south of Kansas City, is home to about 1,800 people.

9. Zap, North Dakota

A Northern Pacific Railroad official, in charge of naming settlements on the line, named Zap after Zapp, Scotland, because both places had coal mines. The city, about 15 miles south of Lake Sakakawea, encompasses one square mile and is home to about 300.

10. Embarrass, Minnesota

If faces are red here, it's only because the town - 205 miles north of St. Paul - is typically the coldest spot in the continental United States. The midwinter temperature often drops to -60 °F, and snow has been known to fall in June. The name comes from early settlers, who used the French word for obstacle - embarrass - to describe the hardships they faced in the frigid territory. Today, the population is largely Finnish. They celebrate their thriving community with a Finnish-American Festival every summer.

And Don't Forget ...

Think the preceding towns have nutty names? Here are some more:

- Idiotville, Oregon
- Knockemstiff, Ohio
- Monkey's Eyebrow, Kentucky
- Satan's Kingdom, Vermont
- Toad Suck, Arkansas


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