Vol 747 - Nov 16, 2008 - Strange Results - Rearrange The Letters

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange George Harrison - Quotes

The Beatles saved the world from boredom.

As far as I'm concerned, there won't be a Beatles reunion as long as John Lennon remains dead.

Gossip is the Devil's radio.

I'll give up this sort of touring madness certainly, but music-everything is based on music. No, I'll never stop my music.

Love one another (His last words).

The biggest break in my career was getting into the Beatles in 1962. The second biggest break since then is getting out of them.

The nicest thing is to open the newspapers and not to find yourself in them.

The world used us as an excuse to go mad.

There's high, and there's high, and to get really high - I mean so high that you can walk on the water, that high-that's where I'm going.

Try to realize it's all within yourself no one else can make you change, and to see you're only very small and life flows on within you and without you.

We were talking about the space between us all and the people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion. Never glimpse the truth - then it's far too late when they pass away.

We were the Spice Boys.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Results - Rearrange The Letters

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE WOODEN ITEMS - BOOKCASE & TABLE - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144517.html

WWII - BOMBER NOSE ART - INK SQUIRTS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/144615.html

STRANGE SMALL CARS - 1972 NORSJO SHOPPER - SWEDEN - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/144840.html

STRANGE SCARY FOOTBRIDGE - 4 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/144905.html

WELCOME TO THE VATICAN - HAVE FUN? - http://www.sstrangecosmos.com/content/item/144969.html

STRANGE SOCCER MASCOT - IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS? - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/144975.html

DANGEROUS LADDER WORK - GET A LONGER LADDER! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/144998.html

STRANGE BMW & MERCEDES BENZ COP CARS & MOTORCYCLES - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145042.html

STRANGE JAPANESE MANHOLE COVERS - 4 - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/145055.html

STRANGE SPORTS CAR - POP UP HEADLIGHTS - MATCHING TOY CAR - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145101.html

3 OSPREY TAKING OFF - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/145102.html

SIDECAR MOTORCYCLE RACING DANGERS - SEAGULL ON THE TRACK! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/145104.html

LITTLE BOY - BIG JUMP - BIG PROBLEM - BICYCLE HANDLEBARS LOSE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/145106.html

STRANGE BUILDING MURAL - THOSE STEPS AREN'T REAL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/145107.html

FRESH WATER FISHING FUN - HUGE MUSKIE GRABS HOOKED NORTHERN PIKE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/145108.html

STRANGE - BEATLES - VOLKSWAGEN BUG - YELLOW SUBMARINE - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/145110.html

THE PERFECT ROAD RAGE HUMMER - ARMED FRONT END CANNON! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/145111.html

STRANGE WOMENS AUTO MAKEUP KIT - PART OF THE STEERING WHEEL! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/145112.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - AIRPLANES - HELICOPTERS - COMMERCIAL - PRIVATE

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100035_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Finance - The Five Oldest Banks in the World - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/144167.html

The 10 Strangest Opening Lines in Literature - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/144705.html

What The Cocktail You Order Says About You! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/144947.html

10 Strange Deaths - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144949.html

Living in New Jersey - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/105774.html

101 Uses for Bubble Wrap - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/106627.html

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The Featured Humor Category This Week - Jokes - ALL Kinds, Puns, Quotes, Slams

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/102_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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[b3ta] "How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb?"

This Week:
* SELLOTAPE - Tesco Value Spiderman
* VIDEO - What it feels like to be immolated
* CHALLENGE - The Daily Mail!?

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're raving we're
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| raving... the web"

B3ta "e-post" 353 - 13 Nov 2008

L@@K!! RARE NEWSLETTER!! GAY INTEREST!!
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue353/

12" remix: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Mashup: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
You lot vs the world

>> Spiderman vs Sellotape <<
"A couple of newsletters back B3ta asked how
much sticky tape it would take to climb a
wall?" spluffs Tom Scott, "It, er, it doesn't
work all that well. My arm hair's steadily
growing back." Wow, and for an encore can you
catch a pig and eat it by injecting it with
digestive enzymes then drinking it like soup?
Please?
http://www.tomscott.com/spiderman/

>> Joel Veitch vs pigs <<
Pork talk 101:
* Babe - The quite wondrous film that turned a
nation of toddlers vegetarian - didn't receive
a theatrical release in Malaysia. It wasn't
halal.
* Pigs do not have functional sweat glands.
Unlike Joel who has 2 million.
* Joel's new song is rather amusing.
http://rathergood.com/pigs/

>> Stephen Fry vs Jay-Z <<
Jay-Z, or Mr Beyonce as almost nobody calls him
has "99 Problems But a Bitch Ain't One".
Unless, that is, the bitch is WordBomb who's
synced up the 2003 smash with a Stephen Fry
interview. We hope Jay-Z puts a cap in his ass.
A contraceptive cap that is, as we all know Fry
supports safe sex. (Although he did get AIDS in
Peter's Friends.)
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_best_thing_weve_ever_made

>> Fire vs camera <<
Morrissey once sang, "Now I know how Joan of
Arc felt as the flames rose to her Roman nose
and her Walkman started to melt." And now? You
can know too, in this brilliantly-conceived
project from Tim 'politi-lols' Ireland who's
made a Guy with a CCTV for a head, then filmed
from within a bonfire.
http://snurl.com/ouchyouchy [www_b3ta_com]

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Last week: Stuff you've found

You know the score: we ask questions and you
tell us lies. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes
it's pages and pages of brain-freezing meh.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/found/

* WE FOUND A TROLL - "A group of friends decide
to spend a day on acid. One of them doesn't
want to partake and says he'll pop round and
see them later when it's all stopped being a
bit too mental.

"He calls round at the house early evening
where the group of friends live. One of them
opens up the door with massive saucer eyes and
a slightly worried look on his face. He beckons
the non drugged chap inside.

"The straight guy (Mark) asks how their day
went, and the guy who is still clearly off his
gourd on ecstasy pipes and looking seriously
worried whispers 'We found a troll'.

"Mark decides to humour him and carries on by
asking where they found it. He replies 'We
found it in the playground of the local park,
it was just sitting there, so we brought it
home.'

"So Mark asks if he could see the troll. 'Yeah,
it's in the kitchen' comes the reply.

"Mark nervously opens the kitchen door, not
knowing what he might find. What he sees,
sitting on a stool and happily munching
biscuits, is... a man with Downs Syndrome.

"They had actually taken this poor guy home
with them. After pissing himself with laughter,
Mark did the right thing and found out where
this guy lived and took him home." (drshipman)

* DOLPHIN/BMX -"Walking on the beach, I found
a dolphin's arse (or possibly a porpoise). I
say 'arse' - it was kind of the section from
the back of its fin to the start of where its
tail should be. Next to the arse was a bent BMX
bike.

"I expect they were just randomly washed up
together, but I like to think they were the
tragic result of a dolphin's over-ambitious BMX
stunt." (superscape)

* DON'T READ UNLESS YOU WANT TO FEEL SAD - "I
found an old camcorder tape. Well, when I say
camcorder, it was a battered Amstrad affair
from the days before the word 'camcorder' even
existed. A camera that was powered by my dad's
car-battery charger.

"Anyway, the tape was one of those that goes
into a standard-size VHS cassette so you can
watch the tapes on a normal VCR. Who said Alan
Sugar produces shite?

"I'd given up hope and thought the tape was
gone for good, but I found it in the VHS
'caddy' in an old VCR in the loft. I rigged it
up and played the tape.

"A few seconds of that snow and the picture
came on. Still of good quality.

"It was footage my mother had recorded in 1993
of my eldest brother (who passed away nearly 7
years ago of some diabetes-related
complication) helping my first-born learn to
walk.

"I cried a little. and then some more."
(Maudlin McCann)

>> This Week: Procrastination <<
We'd like you to, um, well there's these pens
on the desk we like spinning, ooh our favourite
blog has a new post, gosh is it time for lunch
already?
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/procrastination/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Pretty lady! <<
Men, if you ever get a special girl, make sure
you post pics of her in a bikini on your
favourite body-building website. We've been
sent this link ooh 5 times this week; there's
something here people are finding funny but we
hesitate to spell it out. Those in glass houses
should not mention Brian Peppers and all that.
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111777031

>> Ladies who lunch <<
Like drug addicts looking for fresh highs, keen
masturbators are always looking for new
material to make that tug feel like the first
spooge they ever had. Well, look no further:
what you need is young ladies drinking cups of
tea. Ooh, they might burn their lips! ...The
erotic possibilities are simply endless.
http://teabirds.blogspot.com/

>> Spider email vs. bank <<
We can't stand our bank. Every time we visit
they try to flog us a "Gold" account, which
doesn't mean free Terry's All Gold when we
withdraw cash but free travel insurance for
only £15 per month. It's got to the point where
we visibly shudder on passing the branch.
Anyway, loving this bit of bank-baiting whimsy.
http://franksemails.com/pics/spider-payment/

>> 50 strange buildings <<
Nice big chunk of architectural whimsey. If you
like looking at images of unusual dwellings
you're well catered-for here. The Luxor casino
looks pretty bog-standard in amongst this lot.
http://villageofjoy.com/50-strange-buildings-of-the-world/

>> Wooden brain <<
NHS managers! Looking for product ideas to sell
in your hospital-based gift shops? Simply rip
off this fantastic idea: glue some MRI scans to
a few wooden blocks, and it'll make a great
puzzle that your patients can take home as a
lovely souvenir of their brain cancer
experience.
http://neil.fraser.name/news/2008/01/04/

>> Geeky marketing stuff <<
Bloke notices signs on lawns advertising
websites and uncovers a multi-million pound
business that almost no-one has heard of.
Useful background info for those of us that end
up in awful endless conversions about the
margins of marketing. Er, that's just us then.
http://snurl.com/for_the_nerds [themetricsystem_rjmetrics_com]

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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Hedgehog wears a hat

Famous hat-wearers include The Edge from U2
(hides his bald spot) and G'n'R's Axl Rose (for
similar reasons). So what does this little
hedgehog have to hide? Perhaps he should comb
his spines over instead.
http://snurl.com/cutewethink [www_hedgehogcentral_com]

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Adding the letters "un" to the word "funny"

* MATRIX RUNNING ON WINDOWS - oh pity poor
Microsoft, their brand has become such
shorthand for crap that we were grinning even
before watching the video.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1886349

* SQUIRRELS DANCING TO JACKO - nice bit of
video editing for which we couldn't suppress a
smile. SQUIRREL FACT: their meat is more tender
than chicken.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A2moFdM1Yo

* DIZZEE RASCAL ON PAXMAN - quite who's doing
the booking on Newsnight these days? Jo Whiley?
Mr Rascal seems more than a bit out of his
depth but comes across quite well as he
cheerfully blags his way through.
http://snurl.com/hahahahahahaha [www_b3ta_com]

* IN YOUR FACE OBAMA - Adam Buxtom 'shops his
gob onto Barack's lips for some DIY lols.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/IN_YOUR_FACE

* 500 IMPRESSIONS IN TWO MINUTES - we're
thinking of tackling a similar one, if only we
could think of 500 famous gingers.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/500_Impressions_in_2_Minutes

* THE FUTURE OF ALL FILMING - Loving this 360
degree camera. Imagine being able to control
the camera from the edit. That, dear reader,
that would be heaven.
http://proteinos.com/blogs/2008/03/immersive-360-degree-video

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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Long, slow depression has set in

* SECRET PENIS - "Saw this advertised on the TV
today (channel FIVE in the UK). The design of
the 3-pack looks like a cock, and what's more
it's heading for someone's arse!" (kevinleah)
http://snk.co.nz/files/images/CuraHeat_prod_0.preview.jpg

* MR & MRS BIG COCK -"This was a wedding
announcement in my local newspaper."
(brian_shuford)
http://snurl.com/cockylols [www_shelbystar_com]

* BEST ORAL - "It's fun seeing the words BJ
Champion scrawled across the side of a
church." ([DTMX])
http://www.bjchampion.co.uk/

* ANOTHER CROTCH REFENECE = "Sir Jock Stirrup,
British Chief of the Defence Staff"
(cynthiakennedy)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jock_Stirrup

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Macho Challenge

Last week we wanted you design products for
real men.

Your favourites included:

* GILLETTE - five blades? That's for ladies.
This is a proper shave (addickted)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8908303

* TABASCO - the Chuck Norris range of facial
products proves to be a tough sell (blowfelt)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8909162

* MANDRILL - the ultimate in power-tool
pornography (PointlessCamel)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8909841

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/macho/

>> New challenge: The Daily Mail <<
B3ta is issuing you a three-word challenge: The
Daily Mail. Challenge suggested by The Great
Architect.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/dailymail/

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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* COOKIES WIN! - "Top Tip Success. I tried
your Top Tip in issues 352 and have to say my
biccies were very nice. Although I had to make
a little addition to the recipe and increase
the cooking time." (goldenlad)
http://flickr.com/photos/goldenlad/3016228212/

* OCD DIET SUCCESS - "Haha.. thanks for posting
my OCD Diet in your newsletter. It seems I've
caused quite an Internet storm. It really comes
to something when NBC have nothing better to do
than take someone like me seriously!" (oucheh)
http://snurl.com/ocdfoodystuff [www_nbcchicago_com]

* PUB STYLE PEANUT BUTTER - "In Los Angeles
branches of Whole Foods, the hippy grocery shop
that I never go to ever, there is a machine to
make your own peanut butter. Similar to the
coffee grinding machines, you just stick a tub
underneath, and peanuts in the top. The oil in
the nuts makes it creamy. I guess doing it with
dry roasted would add flavour. What about pork
scratchings?" (mjp)

* HELLO CUNTY - diyjoe whom some of you will
remember for his many swearing projects of past
times writes, "The ex-president of internet
swearing returns, and bringeth with him new
wonders from the land of profanity. Introducing
'Hello Cunty' - powered by the Twunt500, the
artificially intelligent swearing mainframe."
http://www.hellocunty.com

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: FRIDAY GAME
Caption the photo

Think you're funny? The challenge is to write a
lol-worthy caption for a random photo in under
a minute, and beat the other players in the
round. We absolutely loved playing this and
this week we've found ourselves coming back
time and time again.
http://captionx.com/

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something super-wicked and tell us about
it. If you are in it then people will see your
stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* HOW OLD WERE THEY WHEN THEY DID THAT? John
Lennon was 26 when he wrote 'I am the Walrus'.
Hitler was 50 when he invaded Poland. We want a
site where people can upload facts and make
themselves feel bad (or good) about their lack
of relative accomplishments.

* TOILET PISS MEASURER - who knows how much you
piss? It could be 50ml or a litre, as bogs keep
the water on a level there's no easy way of
telling. We demand change.

* BUILD A GARDEN SHED WITH LEGO - and live in
it for a week. Complete with lego bog.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

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Sub: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Dom: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob "Urban Mole"
Manuel with David "scribbletits" Stevenson.
We're not rapists, we're just a bit deaf, You
can't arrest us, that's discrimination. Stuff
sent in by win_daddy. Top Tippery by MeekMan.
Additional linkage and image challenge by
Fraser "THE WORD, Word, word..." Lewry. Mike
"Rimed Tinker" Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjlol
via andy19chelsea.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Always sleep on an angry letter. When you wake
up, if you still feel like sending it, you're
bound to have thought up loads more hurtful
things to put in it while you slept.

-------------------------------------------------

SICKIPEDIA:
When Barack Obama was performing his speech
after being elected as president, he had to do
it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass.
I thought that was a bit harsh - just because
he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot
anyone.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 745 - Nov 09, 2008 - Creative Comeback Lines for the Office

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes: Famous Curses!

May your every wish be granted. - Ancient Chinese Curse

May your left ear wither and fall into your right pocket. - Arab Curse

May those that love us, love us;
and to those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts;
and if He doesn't turn their hearts,
may He turn their ankles
so we'll know them by their limping.
- - - Old Irish Toast

May you wander over the face of the earth forever, never sleep twice in the same bed, never drink water twice from the same well, and never cross the same river twice in a year. - Traditional Gypsy Curse

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Creative Comeback Lines for the Office

1. Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted and simplistic world-view.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

4. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

5. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.

6. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?!?

7. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

8. I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away.

9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

13. How about never? Is never good for you?

14. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

15. You sound reasonable. It must be time to up my medication.

16. You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.

17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE CARGO PLANE TEST - C-130 TAKES OFF FROM AIR CRAFT CARRIER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/143932.html

STRANGE INSECT - GIANT WETA - HEAVIEST INSECT EVER! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/144130.html

OLDE PIX - OLD INDIAN CHIEF - ONE FEATHER - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144275.html

STRANGE "UNDERWATER" ELVIS - WITH GUITAR! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/144551.html

THE THREE STOOGES - LARRY, MOE & CURLEY - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/144684.html

STRANGE WAVE POWERED BOAT! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/144706.html

STRANGE DOGS - ST. BERNARD - PAINTED PINK TOE NAILS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/144748.html

STRANGE MILITARY MASCOTS - PENGUIN - WITH MEDAL 'ARM' BAND! - NORWAY - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/144751.html

NEW YORK FIRE DEPT 1909 - HORSE DRAWN STEAM FIRE WAGON - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/144754.html

STRANGE AFRICAN ARMY 'TRIBE' - AK-47 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/144755.html

STRANGE MINI MOTORCYCLES FROM OLD WATCH PARTS! - 17 - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/144757.html

STRANGE TRAVEL DIRECTION SIGN - YOU'RE A LONG WAY FROM ANYWHERE! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/144776.html

STRANGE POLICE BALLERINA'S - TIGHTS AND TUTU'S ! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/144779.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN CHEERLEADERS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/144788.html

STRANGE FLYING BOATS - SHIRT S17 KENT - 2 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/144810.html

AMAZING LIGHTNING STRIKE - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144825.html

STRANGE POLICE CAR - LAKE COUNTY "DARE" - COLORFUL! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/144834.html

STRANGE SMALL CARS - 1960 FIAT 600 MULTIPLA - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/144836.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - CELEBRITY MUG SHOTS - HIGH SCHOOL PIX

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/category/100123_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange List of Redheads - Top 25 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/144163.html

Man Killed Wife Over Facebook Profile - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/144701.html

Sheriff Sentences Self to Jail to Find Out How It Feels Like - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144702.html

Murphy's Laws for Business - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/115232.html

You Know It's Time To Diet When.... - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/115430.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - Strange Lists - Crazy Numbers - Crazy Stuff

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

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------------------------

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ACID REIGN MOSHKINSTEIN Lyrics and Photo sleeve Thumbnail Photo Of ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein http://www.vinylrecords.ch/ Collectors information

ACID REIGN MOSHKINSTEIN Lyrics and Photo sleeve

	Collectors information/Description: This album "ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein" includes the original custom inner sleeve with album details, complete lyrics of all songs by and photos.
Music Genre:	British Thrash Metal
Album Production information:	The album: "ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein" was produced by: Uncle Bastard Sound/Recording Engineer(s): Will Jackson and Uncle Bastard This album was recorded 15-22 December 1987 at: Blue Strike Studio, Harrogate
Record Label:	Under One Flag MFLAG 20
Record Format	12" Vinyl Stereo Gramophone Record Total Album (Cover+Record) weight: 230 gram
Year & Country	1988 Made in England

Album cover photos of : ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein

Front Cover Photo of "ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein" Album

Back Cover Photo of "ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein" Album

Inner Cover of "ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein" Album

Close-up Photo of "ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein" Record Label

Note: the above pictures are photos of the actual album and allow you to judge the quality of cover. Slight differences in color may exist due to the use of the camera's flash. The quality of these images has been reduced in order to preserve network bandwidth, high quality images of these scans can be made available on request

Band Members and Musicians on: ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein

Band-members, Musicians and Performers Kev - Guitar Gaz - Guitar H - Vocals Ramsey - Drums / Vocals Ian - Bass

Track Listing of: "ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein"

The Songs/tracks on "ACID REIGN - Moshkinstein" are Goddess - 3:27 Suspended Sentence - 6:43 Freedom of Speech - 3:08 Motherly Love - 7:00 Respect The Dead - 6:48 Chaos (Lambs To The Slaughter) - 4:24

[b3ta] "Hitting your inbox for merely a second before being forwarded to Ofcom"

This Week:
* BOOK (sort of) - I Spot Internet Humour
* VIDEO - 2 Pumpkins 1 Veitch
* SONG - Let's Talk About Sachs Baby

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web... now pay us!"

B3ta twitter update 353 - 07 Nov 2008

Rub this issue on your cock (or tits):
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue353/

Subs: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Quiznos: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Sexy Tape

The most recent celebrity sex tape features,
amongst other things; anal sex, S&M sex, rimming,
threesomes, topless rodeo, man-on-man-on-man-on-man
action, incest, bestiality, gagging and
simulated fellatio.

God Bless Rhode island:
http://tinyurl.com/5gtv99

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Advertising is healthy and tastes yummy.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Lots and lots of brilliant things. Promise

>> I Spot Internet Humour <<
Your newsletter team of Rob and Dave have been
hard at work writing crap jokes and drawing the
fifty best web memes according, well, to us. As
is the nature of lists, undoubtedly you'll
disagree and ask, "Where's Tub Girl?" And our
answer? "We haven't seen your mum since she last
gave us a biscuit."
http://www.e4.com/wtf/internet-humour/index.html

>> 2 pumpkins 1 cup <<
With a sense of timing like Helen Keller
playing the drums, Joel Veitch brings you your
chance to celebrate Halloween nearly a year
early. We wouldn't have run this but it's
actually quite disgusting and rather funny.
Much like Joel's micro-penis.
http://rathergood.com/2pumpkins1cup/

>> Andrew Sachs song <<
"Dear b3ta," trills Giant_Squid, "I think it
would be tantamount to criminal if this song,
by b3ta member 'housed' about Andrew Sachs and
the obscene phone calls concerning his
granddaughter, did not make next week's
newsletter. I've just listened to it three
times in succession - bottled genius, I tell
you."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sachs_Revenge

>> Channel Five documentary generator <<
Our favourite C5 title? "Was Hitler Gay?" - the
show itself, 45 minutes of people going,
"Probably not, there's not much evidence for
it" lacked somewhat. Quin Parker is on a
similar tip here, and gosh those C5
commissioning guys are going to feel so bloody
satirised that they'll blink nervously and
start playing with the calendar on their
iPhones. Or not.
http://quinparker.com/channel-five/

>> Ewan McGregor's rubbish mate <<
Famous people often have a crap side-kick.
They're there because they can't sort out their
own lives and the celeb needs the company /
someone to carry their bags. B3tard BIG FACE
has been on the case with that guy who was in
the Sky show with Ewan and a motorbike.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ewan_and_Thingy_Pulling_Out

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Eccentrics

Last week we asked you to tell us about the
nutty behaviour of the people you know:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/eccentrics/

* WHO'S THE NUTTIEST? In a story that twists
like the Douglas Adam's anecdote with the
biscuits at the service station comes Woofie
and his 'sunglasses on the train' spot.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/eccentrics/post291278

* ELECTRIC GRANDAD - "He went to a charity
shop, purchased some electric blankets...and
has sewn an outfit from them. Trousers and
jacket! He simply wanders about his house and
garden, plugged into the mains by means of a
large extension cord. Often in the garden, he's
on his mini tractor, still plugged in."
(Completely Underwhelmed)
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/eccentrics/post294208

* MY FRIENDS MUM HAS ALZHEIMERS - "We always
took carrots, because she liked to give them to
horses in the field next door. They'd come over
and she would stand, gobsmacked as the horses
literally took the carrots from the palm of her
hand.

"One day whilst this was happening, a van
pulled up, and the driver asked me for some
directions. As I was explaining, my friend's
mum came over and stood next to me staring at
the driver. She watched him intently, then
reached in her little bag and held out her
palm, with a carrot resting on top, right under
the van drivers nose. He looked confused. He
looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

"My friend's mum got annoyed and shoved the
carrot forcefully right into his mouth.

"We've never laughed so hard in our lives.
Terrible really." (I have run out of coke )
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/eccentrics/post291381

>> This Week's Question <<
After four months of nagging we had a moment of
weakness and allowed ScaryDuck to do his "stuff
I've found" question.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/found/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by people
who occasionally email us

>> Rescue cats! <<
Another week, another way of using Google to
find photos of cats. This week it's cats being
rescued by firemen. Next week? Cats rubbing
their kitty-nipples until they spunk milk.
http://funpresident.com/?p=1736

>> C-C-C-C-Combo breaker! <<
Phrase used on messageboards to 'break' a
spate of duplicate or themed posts. eg.
poster 1: Where's that askjeeves site?
p2: google it
p3: google it
p4: google it
p5: C-C-C-C-Combo breaker!
And where do you think this might be used this week?
http://snurl.com/clickitandfindout [i205_photobucket_com]

>> Single man scribbles on his walls <<
Men! Save money on decorating your bachelor pad
simply by drawing on your walls with a
felt-tip. We'd be trying this now except when
our missus got home she'd immediately phone a
local decorator and present us with the bill.
http://snurl.com/penisfun [www_heraldleaderphoto_com]

>> Argos Catalogue USSR <<
Three facts about Russia:
1. The USSR disbanded in 1991, the same year
Color Me Badd had a number 1 hit with "I Wanna
Sex You Up"
2. "Russians Love Their Children Too" is known
in paedophile circles as 'The Sting Defence'
3. The Soviet Argos fucking well rocked:
http://englishrussia.com/?p=2104#more-2104

>> AC/DC Excel Video viral marketing bollocks <<
We knew if we waited long enough that ASCII
videos would become fashionable again. Wonder
if Guns'n'Roses want our ideas for launching
their new album with some exciting Word clip
art?
http://www.acdcrocks.com/excel/

-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Unusual animal friendships

There are many pairings in life that are simply wrong:
* Mayonnaise and butter on a sandwich - you
don't need two types of fat, you fatty.
* Socks and sandals - although new rave kids
probably do this now. Whilst wearing glasses
last seen on Timmy Mallet. FFS.
* Kittens and budgies - look, see:
http://www.secondose.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/lovestory.jpg

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like that shitty bit on Sky News that's all fuzzy

* LOOK AT THIS AND GO TO JAIL - we're seriously
wondering if this counts as kiddy porn.
Whatever it is, you really don't want to see
this. Absolutely not. NSFW.
http://www.totallycrap.com/videos/videos_worst_job_in_the_world/

* FAN SINGS JOHN WILLIAMS - Everyone knows this
man's tunes, but only film nerds bother
remembering his name. John Williams is not
Serena and Venus's dad, but the bloke who wrote
the themes for Star Wars, Indiana Jones and
Superman.
http://b3ta.com/links/Star_Wars_to_the_tunes_of_John_Williams

* HEART OF COGS - art and engineering meet in
this eloquent metaphor for a man's soul: my
heart is complex, geeky and quite beautiful but
a bugger to fix if you break it.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Geared_Heart

* CAT IN A BOTTLE - the trick of getting a ship
into a bottle is putting it in a bit at a time
with long tweezers and being very, very
patient. Which is almost exactly unlike this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXR5GmNyh7c

* GEORGE FORMBY GRILL - props to the team at
Popmash who are still turning out amusing and
nicely drawn work.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/George_Forby_Grill

-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Please, somebody, send us some lithium

* BEST EMAIL COCK-UP EVER - Council sends road
sign for translation and... well, we won't
spoil the joke.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7702913.stm

* KIDS LOVE BLOWING COCKS - we assume they use
the soap to wash away the sin.
http://snurl.com/satans_children [www_spilsbury_com]

* MAPLE SYRUP OMG - to get sap out of a tree
you bleed it with a tap, but in this logo it
doesn't half look like a dripping cock.
http://snurl.com/quibblemydribble [failblog_files_wordpress_com]

* MATCHMAKER COOKIES - now with cool minty
black cocks. An ideal aperitif for an election
night celebration.
http://snurl.com/wevotedmccain [i236_photobucket_com]

* BEAVER CLEANING - Darfbozo writes, "Spotted a
van outside my house last week, was too dark to
take a decent photo, but looked him up on the
interweb. Take a look at his company name, then
the review at the bottom from my
hastily-conjured 'Mrs V Gina'."
http://snurl.com/donotvandaliseok [www_citylocal_co_uk]

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the US Election Challenge

Last week we wanted to mock the American
Presidential race.

Your favourites included:

* MADNESS - John McCain out-nutties the nutty
boys (TheCastrator)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8885400

* SPIDERPALIN - Homer plays tribute to the
psychotic hockey mum (badg3r)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8888100

* IMPEACH - Bill Clinton ponders on the
ejaculate-splashed unfairness of it all (Holly
Would)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/8885263

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/election/

>> New challenge: Macho Products <<
In tribute to X Factor star Sinitta still
fitting into her So Macho outfit 23 years on,
we want the manly products. Stuff that Andy
McNabb and Chuck Norris would buy.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/macho/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* SHORT-TERM MEMORY ERRORS, Olembe (amongst
others) wrote in to crow, "Hoorah: a chance to
wave my PhD around!

"The short-term memory game featured in the
newsletter will generally allow you to remember
more than 7 items* as it used pictures of real,
concrete objects. Pictures of real objects are
particularly easy to remember. Thanks to a chap
called Al Paivio, we know when you try to
remember a picture of, say, a black kitten, you
create two memories: a memory of the picture
you saw AND a memory of the words that popped
into your head when you saw the picture ('Oh, a
black kitten'). So because you've got a memory
of the picture AND a memory of the words,
you're more likely to remember a picture of a
kitten than if you just heard the word 'kitten'.

"Cool fact: Alan Paivio was a championship
bodybuilder before becoming a psychologist.
Look him up on Google images and you'll see him
in action. How many other disciplines can boast
a researcher who can come up with a top theory
AND kick physicists' heads in?

"* Actually the theory is 7 ± 2 items, rather
than 7."

* ALL 80s NUMBER 1s INTROS IN ONE MP3 - we
challenged you, dear readers, to glue this
together so that we could listen to it. Props
to Fonz for giving it a go - and what a head
trip it is. Other members tried a video
version, but for our money having to guess the
titles is much more fun.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/80s_Number_1_intros

-------------------------------------------------

: FRIDAY GAME
Stock market game

Best idea we've seen for a while - takes
snapshots of real sharetrading prices from
history and you click buy or sell. That we lost
$70k in 5 minutes suggest that we're best
staying well away from the real thing. Genius
stuff.
http://www.inspectd.com/

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* RETRO ARGOS CATALOGUES, we saw some Russian
stuff earlier, but we'd love to see what Argos
was flogging in the 70s or 80s. Are there any
hoarders with an OCD attitude to scanning out
there?

* WORLD'S LONGEST FIREMAN'S POLE - just
wondering how long could you make one? Or would
your rate of descent get too dangerous?

* PUB-STYLE PEANUT BUTTER - Would a packet of
KP into a blender make something you could
spread on toast?

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:

This issue was written by Rob "air quotes"
Manuel with David (brackets) Stevenson. Stuff
sent in by Felchman, reject_jon & robneymcplum.
Top Tippery by Digeridude. Additional linkage
and image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike
Trinder is QOTW bloke. And so is his wife.
Subjline from Captain Wow.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Four out of five holes in your head are the
exact same shape and size as your finger. This
is not a coincidence.

-------------------------------------------------

SICKIPEDIA:
A very common male fantasy is to have two women
at the same time. One to cook, one to clean.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 744 - Nov 05, 2008 - Strange Answers Given on a Bible Knowledge Test

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add "Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Insults:

Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

She has a nice butter face. Everything looks nice, but her face.

She thinks the rearview mirror is for putting on make-up.

Do you want do die stupid?

Do you want me to accept you as you are or do you want me to like you?

Doesn't know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.

Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Answers Given on a Bible Knowledge Test

Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.

Moses went to the top of Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments.

The seventh commandment is "thou shalt not admit adultery."

Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

The people who followed Jesus were called Decibels.

The espistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew.

Salome danced in seven veils in front of King Herrod.

Paul preached acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

David fought the Finkelsteins, which a race of people who lived in Bible times.

The Jews had trouble throughout their history with unsympathic Genitals.

A Christian should have only one wife, this is called monotony.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE PARABOLIC EARS - BEFORE RADAR - WAALSDORF - 2 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/144035.html

STRANGE OLDE FITNESS & MEDICAL EQUIPMENT - 3 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/144090.html

STRANGE OLDE AUTO AND TRUCK ACCIDENTS - 1930-40's - 2 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144196.html

CUTE TINY DOG - SMALLER THAN A COKE CAN! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/144459.html

STRANGE 'LEGO' GODZILLA! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/144479.html

WWII - BOMBER NOSE ART - FRENCH KISS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/144608.html

STRANGE PROPELLER DRIVEN VEHICLE - WHEELS & SKI'S! - 1 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/144619.html

STRANGE 1950'S CONCEPT CAR - ROCKET SHIP - BUBBLE TOP - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/144647.html

STRANGE SWAN GOES AFTER "SWAN" PADDLE BOAT! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/144648.html

STRANGE WRESTLING HOLD - THE PRETZEL! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/144649.html

STRANGE OLDE PIX - STRANGE BIG WHEEL TANDEM BICYCLE - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/144650.html

STRANGE MILITARY HELICOPTERS - SCARY PAINT JOBS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/144651.html

STRANGE HORSE PROBLEM - HEAD CAUGHT IN A TREE! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/144652.html

STRANGE BEACH SIDE LIGHTNING DISPLAY! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/144653.html

STRANGE OLDE PIX - THE FIRST MODEL T TENT CAMPER - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144654.html

STRANGE FLOW CHART OF A GEEKS LIFE! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/144655.html

THE WALL STREET "BULL MARKET" - OCTOBER 2008 - MELTING! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144656.html

STRANGE BIRD - SHOWING BIRD STATUE THE REAL THING! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144657.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - OLD CIRCUS ITEMS - ANIMALS, CIRCUS FREAKS AND ODDITIES

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/100262_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

How 10 American Towns Got Their Strange Names - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/144156.html

Top 15 Strangest Real Beer Names - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/144165.html

Strange REAL Police 911 Calls - Nashville TN - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/144412.html

Personality Test - What Cartoon Character are You? - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/21707.html

Logic & Commonsense - 18 Quickies - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/21991.html

Your Personality Determined By Which Gift You Choose - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/24161.html

==================================

The Featured Humor Category This Week - Strange Lists - Crazy Numbers - Crazy Stuff

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/111_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 743 - Nov 02, 2008 - Strange Advice From the Old Farmer

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Strange Quotes from Famous Women

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. [Dolly Parton]

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. [Erica Jong]

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. [Rita Rudner]

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. [Rita Rudner]

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. [Wendy Liebman]

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. [Erma Bombeck]

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. [Sue Grafton]

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Advice From the Old Farmer

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.

Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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STRANGE UNDERWATER AQUARIUM RESTAURANT - 4 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/143992.html

STRANGE OLD RENAULT - CHECK OUT THE TOP! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/144105.html

STRANGE STAIRWAY! IT'S COLORFUL AND LONG! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/144111.html

STRANGE MINIATURE WEAPONS - PO8 - LUGER 2/5 SCALE - 2 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/144329.html

STRANGE NEWSPAPER HEADLINES - YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/144406.html

STRANGE TOILET SEAT - JAWS! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/144462.html

DANGEROUS TRICYCLE - SAW BLADE WHEELS! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/144464.html

STRANGE "BEER BAGS!" - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/144476.html

CAT "DOOR" GUARDS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/144486.html

ANGEL FLARES - MILITARY CARGO PLANES - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/144494.html

STRANGE WOODEN ITEMS - "DRESS" CHAIR - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/144516.html

WORLDS TALLEST WOODEN HOUSE - 13 FLOORS - 144 FT. - 6 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/144522.html

STRANGE POLICE DOG TRAINING - JUMPING THRU FLAMING RINGS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/144548.html

STRANGE ARMY TOW TRUCK - ARMED ALIEN! - 3 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/144552.html

KING OF EGYPT - TUTANKHAMON - OPENING OF THE TOMB - 4 - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/144585.html

1949 DELANAYE 175 ROADSTER - SIDE VIEW - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/144593.html

AMERICA'S FUTURE? - HUGE WIND FARM - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/144604.html

STRANGE PARK BENCH - LEONARD HATED FAT PEOPLE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/144605.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - FARM FUN - Farm Fields - Tractors - Barns - Animals

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/category/100296_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Laws Around the United States - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/143930.html

How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb? - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/144407.html

Strange Corporate Names After Corporate Mergers - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/144411.html

Strange Names of Real People - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/118513.html

Strange But True Facts - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/119132.html

You Know You're a Nurse When.......... - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/119633.html

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The Featured Humor Category This Week - Interesting & Fun Tests, Games, Quizzes

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/115_1.html

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Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

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All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

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