Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: VOL 1035 - Aug 21, 2011 - Classic Airplane Pilot to Tower Conversations

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Strange Aviation Quotes:

"Helicopters don't fly -- they beat the air into submission. An airplane by it's nature wants to fly, and if not interfered with too strongly by unusual events or by a deliberately incompetent pilot, it will fly. A helicopter does not want to fly." - Taken from GlobalSecurity.org

Scott Crossfield's description of the cockpit jettison system on the Douglas D-558-II Skyrocket.
"It's trying to commit suicide to avoid being killed!"

A student pilot at ERAU, who got caught on top of the scud while practicing touch and goes, reacts to all the suggestions the tower makes (none of which he has yet to learn). "Look, I'm not John Wayne and this isn't "The High and The Mighty"; I'm Joe Student and this is for real!!".

A portly captain boards a L-1011 for a trip and meets one of the flight attendants at the forward galley. She, being a little of a smart a--, pats him on the tummy and says, "You know, if that were on a woman I'd know what it was!!"
The captain immediately replies, "It was last night; now......., what is it??"

It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break wind and head in to the ground.

The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that a jet engine usually quits whining when it gets to the gate.

A copilot is a knot-head until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o'clock, after which he a goof-off for not seeing it earlier.

Without ammo the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.

Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing attempt: "you've got to land here son, this is where the food is."

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few chances to experience all three at the same time.

Never fly the 'a' model of anything.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Classic Airplane Pilot to Tower Conversations

Classic Tower Conversations

"Air Force '45, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've already ejected."

"Citation 123, if you quit calling me Center, I'll quit calling you twin Cessna."

"About three miles ahead, you've got traffic 12 o'clock, five miles."

"If you hear me, traffic no longer a factor."

"I am way too busy for anybody to cancel on me."

"You're gonna have to key the mic. I can't see you when you nod your head."

"It's too late for Louisville. We're going back to O'Hare."

"Put your compass on 'E' and get out of my airspace."

"Don't anybody maintain anything."

"Climb like your life depends on it...because it does."

"If you want more room, captain, push your seat back."

"For radar identification, throw your jumpseat rider out the window."

"Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your wings.." "OK TOWER, IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"

The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty. The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?"
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!"

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 21. August 2011

VOL 1035 - Aug 21, 2011 - Classic Airplane Pilot to Tower Conversations

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