This Week: * GOATS - Amazing game trailer * GRAPHS - What's good on TV? * CLASS - your top tales of posh privilege ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "fnord" ___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | __/____/____/\__/_/ |_| B3ta email 625 - 28 Mar 2014 Read this newsletter on the Inter-net http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue625 Sub : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Snub : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com ------------------------------------------------- : SPONSORED LINK Cilla Black iPad cover Jesus wept the shit that's on Amazon. Jesus fucking wept. http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B007R4LKJW/b3ta-21 >> Sponsor B3ta << Want this space? Then talk to us. ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK Hang the Rich, Penguins and Gayness >> Now you can string up Gidiot and Dave! << The dangly bit fallen off your bathroom light switch? Replace them with a little effigy of a Tory overlords, why not? "At long chuffing last," grins creator Harry Webshiter https://www.etsy.com/shop/HungParliament >> Penguin vs String - Translation << We've all seen the funny vid where penguins can't jump over a bit of string string - Slurpy J has a translation of what's *really* going on. "All hail Richard!" http://www.b3ta.com/links/Penguin_vs_String_Translation >> Keith Jarrett: 'Gay Poem'. << "Here's a video what I made with very talented poet Keith Jarrett," explains richardtyronejones. "A straight-acting poet writes a poem that turns out much camper than he expected - at first he's unhappy with his creation and how it jars with aspects of his Caribbean culture but comes to terms with it, as the film becomes increasingly more pink..." http://www.b3ta.com/links/Keith_Jarrett_Gay_Poem ------------------------------------------------- : LOOK! - IT'S QUESTION OF THE WEEK Class Hello. Remember us? We're terribly posh: http://b3ta.com/questions/class/ * LAND - "A friend at the Inland Revenue was enjoying a drink in Kensington public house with colleagues from a wide variety of social backgrounds. They were discussing films, in particular Nil By Mouth. One of the workers said that they'd enjoyed the film but mainly because it was shot on location on his estate. At which point a young, nice, dim, old money with title says, "Oh, how marvellous! How many acres?" (d.r._and_quinch) * FAKE - "One of my friends is terribly posh. Let's call her Clarabelle. I bought a new winter coat, which was rather nice, but had some fake fur on it. 'Belle looked at it and her patrician nose wrinkled up even further. Then she said, "It's not that you don't look lovely, darling. It's just that - I'm morally opposed to fur that isn't real." (rachelswipe) * RIS - "Putting my pound into the trolley at Morrisons when I saw two women with a three year oldish girl between them. An idyllic scene until one of the lardees says to the girl, "Say, 'Auntie Jean is a fucking slag,' go on, say it." Followed by the poor child having a go at the Auntie Jean-based abuse. I tutted until I felt dizzy." (Helikaon) >> This Week - PETTY OFFICIALS << Bob de Bilde says: A traffic warden threatened to call the police and have me arrested because "It's illegal to take photos in the street. You might be a paedophile". I was taking a picture of a funny street sign, over which I had no plans to masturbate. Tell us about petty officials talking bollocks: http://b3ta.com/questions/pettyofficials/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates >> The awesome illustration of Robin Davey << Deceptively simple, beautifully colourful and subtly animated - this is lovely stuff. >> TV programmes' rise and fall << Has Mad Men got better over time? How about more popular? What about Game of Thrones? These graphs explain all. http://graphtv.kevinformatics.com/ ------------------------------------------------- : USVSTH3M Things we've made and hope you like * BRIAN'S BRAIN presents WROD - one simple question: are these words spelled correctly? Oh, and there's a time limit. http://games.usvsth3m.com/wrod/ * HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME? Make your own quiz and see if your friends really *do* know you as well as you think. http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-well-do-you-know/ * CYBERBULLIED BY LOUISE MENSCH. "It happened to me!" explains social media bellend Ed Jefferson. http://usvsth3m.com/post/80972333347/it-happened-to-me-ex-mp-louise-mensch-cyberbullied-me ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO >> The only ad you'll ever need << The world's most generic ad neatly spears the most egregious cliches of today's tech TV spots. http://mashable.com/2014/03/25/generic-brand-ad/ >> Dark, smalltown animated comedy << Nasty little animated LOLs - and a pilot for a potentially longer series. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mr_Pickles_Pilot >> Official Trailer for Goat Simulator << Sure, you might think Goat Simulator is a one-joke game but this official trailer is unexpectedly... moving? http://www.b3ta.com/links/Official_Trailer_for_Goat_Simulator >> Armando Iannuccis' corporate joke presentation << The legendary funnyman talks you through a typical corporate gig. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Armando_Iannuccis_corporate_joke_presentation ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Heavy Metal Challenge Last week we wanted you to rock us like a hurricane Your favourites included: * KRANKIE: freakish Scots duo swap boards for rock damnation (benito vaselini) http://www.b3ta.com/board/11067651 * KITTIE: long-haired metal dude rocks splendid cat head (HappyToast) http://www.b3ta.com/board/11067386 * KRAZY: Midlands rock goliath meets enigmatic renaissance lady (Q4nobody) http://www.b3ta.com/board/11068296 All these images, and the highest as voted by you can be found here: http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/heavy-metal/ >> New challenge: FIRE! << One-word challenge: Fire! This week's task is to celebrate the world of conflagration and combustion, from the Great Fire to forest fires to fire breathing. Fire! http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/fire/ ------------------------------------------------- Xbot: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Ybot: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by sinisterduck, Jimbotfu, Ol' Ginger Bastard, augsav, jamtallons. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Top tip via boarders. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Paying too much for your electricity? Wire all your appliances back to front, that way the stupid electricity company will have to pay you. Yay!
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