Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 721 - Aug 17, 2008

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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NEW! - MySpace Members - Please NOTE that we have just added a TAB on
each Joke Page and Image Page that NOW Makes it Easy for you to add
"Strange" Items to your Individual MySpace pages! Just CLICK on
the Bottom Right MySpace ICON! It's Quick & Easy!

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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Strange Quotes - Things You Shouldn't Do.....

"Don't carry a grudge. While you're carrying the grudge, the other guy's out dancing." - Buddy Hackett

"Don't get mad. Don't get even. Just get elected, then get even." - James Carville

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin

"Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity." - Nick Diamos

"Never believe in mirrors or newspapers." - Tom Stoppard

"Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon." - Jilly Cooper

"Never purchase beauty products in a hardware store." - Miss Piggy

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - At The Beep..

AT THE BEEP..."

Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 17. August 2008

Vol 721 - Aug 17, 2008 - At The Beep.........

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