Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 717 - August 03, 2008

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Strange Quotes About Sports:

"Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don't like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that." - Bill Shankly, In Sunday Times (UK) Oct. 4 1981

"Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead." - Erma Bombeck (1927 - 1996)

"Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings." - George F. Will (1941 - )

"Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theismann, Former quarterback

"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like." - Phyllis Diller

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Classic Southern Expressions

Exclamations:
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

Threats:
"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle."
"This'll jar your preserves."
"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"

Good Things/Compliments:
"Cute as a sack full of puppies."
"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
"Gooder than grits."

The Weather:
"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."

Descriptions:
A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
"He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."
A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a
marble floor."

Insults:
"She's uglier than homemade soap."
"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.'"
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"
Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart."
Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Sonntag, 3. August 2008

Vol 717 - August 03, 2008 - Classic Southern Expressions

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