Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike: Vol 679 - March 24, 2008

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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Strange Quotes from England

Jon Snow : "In a sense, Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't it?"
Expert : "Er, yes." (Channel 4 News)

"If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal."
(Jimmy Hill -- BBC)

"Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussey -- four very different names." (Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3)

"Cystitis is a living death, it really is. Nobody ever talks about it, but if I was faced with a choice between having my arms removed and getting cystitis, I'd wave goodbye to my arms quite happily." (Louise Wener (of Sleeper) in Q Magazine)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." (Metro Radio Sports Commentary)

Listener : "My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day."
Simon Fanshawe : "How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg?"
(Talk Radio)

Interviewer : "So did you see which train crashed into which train first?"
15-year-old : "No, they both ran into each other at the same time."
(BBC Radio 4)

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Know you're Old When..

- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won't wear out.
- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
- You can eat dinner at 4:00
- You can live without sex but not without glasses.
- You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- You got cable for the weather channel.
- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- You send money to PBS.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- Your ears are hairier than your head.
- Your eyes won't get much worse.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

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Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Montag, 24. März 2008

Vol 679 - March 24, 2008 - You Know you're Old When..

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