Vol 592 - May 23, 2007 - Strange Housekeeping Tips

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

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Strange But Basically Useless Information:

Jerry Falwell and Larry Flynt were good friends, even exchanging Christmas cards.

I can now use the Internet to find out who is sick in my zip code.

Author Zora Neale Hurston (Their Eyes Were Watching God) spent the last decade of her life working as a maid and died penniless in a welfare home.

Rep. James Sensenbrenner's $10 million fortune stems from his great grandpa's invention of the Kotex sanitary napkin.

The Olsen twins are being courted to play Bond Girls in the next 007 movie.

One in ten Europeans are conceived in an Ikea bed.

Doug E. Fresh is a Scientologist.

Willard Scott claims that he created the character of Ronald McDonald.

On Led Zeppelin's How The West Was Won live CD, John Bonham's drum solo is 19 minutes long.

Boy Scouts in L.A. can earn a new merit badge for "Respecting Copyrights" after learning the evils of downloading pirated movies and music.

Wrigley filed a patent for a gum that contains Viagra.

Our planet is apparently running out of disposable chopsticks.

Gladys Knight is Mormon.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Housekeeping Tips

Tomorrow I will do the housework, NO EXCUSES!!! (unless they're good ones)

1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.

2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!

3. The best mini-vac for an after meal clean up is the dog.

4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.

5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.

6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.

7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

8. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.

9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

11. Simplify... hire a maid.

12: My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being Hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

13. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

14. I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

15. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

16. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.

17. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."

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