Vol 859 - Dec. 13, 2009 - Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

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Strange Quotes About Santa:

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? - Tom Armstrong

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple Black

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. - Victor Borge

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark. - Dick Gregory

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? - Arlo Guthrie

I played Santa Claus many times, and if you don't believe it, check out the divorce settlements awarded my wives. - Groucho Marx "The Groucho Phile"

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance-abuse-survivor gave to me,

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drummin

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...)

TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses.

And a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Submitted by Diane K ! Thanks

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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HUMOR IN THE NFL - TEXANS/JAGUARS GAME SALUTE TIGER! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/158666.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - * STRANGE PEOPLE - Scary & Just Plain Dumb!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/31_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

The Strange History of a Popular Christmas Carol - The 12 Days of Christmas! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/158418.html

A Classic Italian Christmas - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/113433.html

Strange Christmas Facts - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/104644.html

Strange Christmas Traditions - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/104564.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - OFFICE - Co-Workers - Computers - Bosses

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/14_1.html

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[b3ta] "I'm Josef Fritzl and no windows was my idea."

 

This Week:
* VIDS - Have a Hibbetty Christmas!
* PUNS - Are mightier than the swede
* NEIGHBOUR HATE - Passive Aggressive WiFi

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B3ta dog egg 408 - 11 Dec 2009

Reap what you sow puny human:
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: SPONSORED LINK
Sonisphere festival

Iron Maiden, Rammstein, Motley Crue, Alice
Cooper, Iggy and the Stooges, Slayer, The Cult
and Anthrax are all going to rock Knebworth
from Friday the 30th of July to Sunday the 1st
of August 2010. Get your tickets before they
sell out. C'mon. FUCKING Rammstein, man! They'll
probably paint themselves blue and everything.
http://uk.sonispherefestivals.com/

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Lots of stuff that will make your pee-pee hard

>> MJ Hibbett does Xmas <<
MJ asked people to send him videos telling him
what they wanted for Christmas. "I had SO may
clips sent in," writes MJ, "I ended up having
to make two; one for the ladies, one for the
gentlemen." The results are utterly charming,
like slightly shonky Boots ads made by a
Morrissey fan. Give this man a multi-million
pound contract to change the face of Christmas
advertising forever.
http://www.mjhibbett.net/christmas.htm

>> Call for content: pun based gags <<
"I luv puns," confesses Andrew Magurran, "So I
made a pun-based web utopia. Thing is, I need
more puns. Please tell everyone to give me more
puns. More puns. Puns." We know all about puns
at B3ta HQ. The Ginger Fuhrer suffers from a
unique brand of Tourettes that forces the
afflicted to spew a constant tide of puns. e.g.
Let's start a band called The Sax Pistols!
Pun's not dead you know.
http://www.punderland.com

>> The Web for Beginners <<
B3ta man of the moment Cassetteboy is following
up his smash hits involving Alan Sugar and Nick
Griffin. After tackling those titans, he now
takes on the web itself. We rather liked
Stephen Fry's blouse.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Web_for_Beginners

>> Zombie kitten apocalypse <<
"The zombie kitten apocalypse has arrived,"
raves Mutated Monty. "A new animation by me
and SarahBear, it's not for the squeamish." Cute
and a bit gothy - it's like Tim Burton does
Anime.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/MEOW:3

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"IT LOOKS LIKE A COCK" - win a book compo

Authors Ben & Jack have put together lots of
photos of stuff that looks like penises, shoved
it into a book and figured it would fit in with
B3ta. Anyway, we've got 6 copies to give away.
Complete this tie-breaker in 15 words or less.
"I love cock because... "
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9830507

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK 1
Presents - we forgot to run this bit last week

Stuck for buying present ideas for the official
b3ta wife and children we thought we'd ask the
B3tans what they're buying their nearest and
dearest so we could crib inspiration.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/present/

Of course most of you have written jokes and
we're still absolutely fucked in the present
buying dept.

* SWEETS - "I'm going to give my nephews and nieces
radioactive sweets. I can't wait to see their
glowing little faeces....." (vinny)

* WII - "My niece told me she wanted a Wii for
Christmas. I can't wait to see the look on her
face when she realises I've given her a jam jar
full of piss." (ralphseviltwin)

* BOOZE - "Gave my wife the best Christmas
present she could have wished for today. Went
to my first AA meeting. Day one and counting.
Apologies for lack of funnies." (capo) - No gag
here, we're simply interested to see how this
turns out. Good luck Capo.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/present/post581254

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK 2
Failed Projects

Last week we had a minor panic attack about
projects we've ballsed-up in the past and
thought you might like to confess all:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/worldoffail/

* 4x4xFAIL - "Many years ago I was helping a
friend build a nice big garage across the end
of his garden. He had a partially complete
LWB Land Rover parked where we were going
to build. We tried pushing it but those fuckers
weigh a ton, so he suggested he'd get the
starter motor wired up later in the day and
"Just move it up the garden a bit." The next
morning we arrived to find it 150ft away,
right up by his house, with a trail of flattened
wendy houses, swings and sandpits in its wake.
Apparently he'd started it, ground it into
gear and set off only to remember he hadn't
connected the brakes. Struggling to get it
out of gear, the 4WD behemoth crashed its
way towards his kitchen, much to the shock of
his wife who was washing up at the time. We
laughed about it for a few weeks, until we
realized that, having built the garage, there
was now no way of getting the Land Rover out
of the garden."
(KipperFillets)

* PUPPY - "Summer hols and myself and Mark
are bored. What would cheer us up? A puppy.
Where can we get one? Dunno. Why don't we make
one? Brilliant. Our rudimentary knowledge of
biology was such that we knew that two dogs
were needed; and that one had to piggy-back
the other for the magic to work. Five minutes
later Mark has a mangy mongrel and I have Mrs
Simms' Alsation which I'd volunteered to walk.
We tried to get the Alsation to mount the mutt
but it was not having it. So... I held the
Alsation whilst Mark lifted the other one into
position and vigourously rubbed it back and
forth. Result? No puppy - but a half dead mongrel
and me nearly losing a pint of blood."
(DrTugnutcracker)

* JIGSAW - "I have just completed a jigsaw puzzle.
It was rather difficult and took me nearly
eighteen months to finish. Which is great, as
it said 3-4 years on the box." (marcooosa)

>> This Week's Question <<

Asking people out. tell us your biggest successes
and most embarrassing failures. Not that we're
after new chat-up lines, or anything:
http://b3ta.com/questions/chattingup/

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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Clients Ruin My Art <<
Anyone in the "creative industries" will cringe
at the unavoidable truth of this strip cartoon
showing the toxic relationship between a web
designer and his client. It all ends in comic
sans tears.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell

>> Christmas Nonce-sense <<
If you think Santa has a whiff of the child
enthusiast about him, you would be delighted to
find one of these in his sack. "Ha! I told you
so!" you'd chorus. Send a lynch mob to burn his
toyshop down.
http://snurl.com/paedobells

>> Passive Aggressive wifi <<
Speaking for the household who only recently
abandoned the wifi tag 'cunt' for the more
child-friendly 'bums', we loved this list of
wifi names, all of which put two fingers up to
the neighbours with the joy of anonymity. Much
like wanking in their milk bottles or doing a
poo in their recycle box.
http://www.holytaco.com/25-hilarious-wifi-network-names

>> 3D without the glasses <<
Why faff about with silly glasses when you can
take your HP Laserjet into the 3rd dimension
with these cut-out and keep 3D letters?
http://www.dafont.com/punched-out.font

>> 9/11 is a joke <<
We blame the New World Order for this. Or maybe
Peter Hook from New Order for this excruciating
newspaper correction.
http://is.gd/5eS6t

>> Google's doing it for the Kids <<
We'd probably be on some kind of register if we
asked the local primary schools to rework the
Sickipedia logo, though judging by the rather
lovely things the kids have done for google, we
might be on to a bit of a winner. We've heard
the Special Needs kids are doing one for Ask
Jeeves.
http://www.google.com/intl/en_uk/doodle4google/vote.html

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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Kitties in neckwear

A collection of cats in ties, ruffs and bow
ties. But no scarves, cravats or snoods -
coming soon, we hope.
http://snurl.com/catties

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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Etch-A-sketch for autistic Terry Pratchett fans

>> Shane sings 5 octaves on the piano <<
We love Shane and his one note octave,
especially as we think he is the living proof
that inbreeding is wrong. A Hillbilly Susan
Boyle; as played by Jack Black.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Shane_sings_5_octaves_on_the_piano

>> Beatles 3000 <<
A fantastic parody of all those nonsense
documentaries on the History Channel, where a
16 year-old on work experience has shoved a few
names into Google and come out with piffle.
We want to go to "Nectaris University" though,
as it sounds kind of spacey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z2vU8M6CYI

>> Tetris God <<
The sort of sketch the Goodies might have made
if they'd been 20 years younger and had got an
Amstrad GX4000 for Christmas.
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924722

>> Queen, Overdubbed <<
Imagine Freddie turned into Brian Blessed (with
a cheeky hint of Papa Lazarou) and you're
halfway towards grasping this rambunctious
re-voicing of Queen's magnum opus Bohemian
Rhapsody. Popeye!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQRvqkmKmKo

>> Blair Witch Flatmare <<
We're not a 100 per cent sure that this is for
real - it's much too neat and the shots are too
well-composed, but the idea is pretty creepy;
mad tramp lady living in your loft, creeping
out at night, stealing your food and pissing in
your sink.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06X9qXTvKNQ

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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
Pissed Himself Laughing

Whilst not exactly a cock and balls logo, it
does look a man having a large slash.
http://www.foamconcrete.co.uk/index.html

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: PORN FOR THE BLIND x2

Last week's publication of "what porn I wank to
even tho I'm blind" attracted a lot of comment,
including:

* "Please tell the blind guy who's sick of
listening to frat boys describing poo in a cup
that there are lots of ladies reading out
erotic stories at Literotica's Text With Audio
category - I've got nothing to do with
Literotica, but I felt out of a sense of
fraternity that I should help a brother out!"
(James)
http://snurl.com/blindporn2

* "You featured Blind Porn in last week's
mailout. How about some Deaf Porn? The UK Film
Council gave me some money to make a fantastic
comedy mockumentary about a chap called Hands
Solo, the world's most famous Deaf Porn star.
He's very very good with his hands, you know."
(wmager)
http://www.hands-solo.com/trailer.html

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: KY JELLY ALTERNATIVES

Last week we asked what other substances you'd
used for lube - our mail box gushed over:

* OIL - "I've heard that soldiers, whilst
deployed, use gun oil as lube. I have not tried
this personally... nope... not at all..."
(paul.mechanicus)

* WD40 = BAD - "DON'T TRY IT! They use WD40 in
my local to stop people snorting coke off the
cistern. I'm reliably informed that it burns
like hell. Given that penile and vaginal skin
is mucous membrane, as is the inside of your
nose, I'm pretty certain you'd end up in
casualty." (mrsclarebutler)

* HAIRGEL - "In response to Jeff Balls's question
about what makes a good KY alternative, when I
was a bit younger and cranking out 12 a day
with some regularity, I found really, really,
cheap hair gel to work a treat. I mean the
Tesco Blue Stripe 39p gloop. It's fucking awful
for doing anything with your hair, but if you
want a cheap wanking lube, the stuff is worth
its weight in gold." (Mr. Jack)

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Jesus UK Challenge

Last week we wanted to know what Jesus would
get up to if he toured Britain today.

Your favourites included:

* WALL - in which the son of God is fiendishly
mocked by the developers of a gameshow (Monty
Propps)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9820260

* PORN - whatever they said about Christ, you
could never deny he was well-hung (prodigy69)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9821124

* MAIL - with his non-British roots, Jesus
would have been less popular with some
newspapers than others (The Hedgehog From Hell)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9819845

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/jesusUK/

>> New challenge: True Christmas Cards <<
Xmas is almost upon us once again, and it's
time for b3ta's annual Christmas Card
challenge. This year, we'd like you to design
cards that tell the truth about Christmas and
about the people you'll be sending them to:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/christmastruth/

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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* TOP 100 BESTEST SITE YAYS - Nice to see the
Guardian giving B3ta a shout out for our
trolls.
http://tinyurl.com/ybpbyb6

* CYRIAK WINS E4 LUMP OF GLASS - nice to see
our man Mutated Monty getting some props for
his work.
http://www.e4.com/estings/2009finalists.html

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: FRIDAY GAME
Obey the game!

"There's not enough Friday Games!", writes
Jasper Kingjay, "Now I get bored on Fridays. So
here's one. Obey the Game. You can actually get
quite far by doing nothing, how cool is that?"
http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/obey-the-game

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* MOCKERY CROCKERY - Official B3ta Wife bought
the Fuhrer a horrid mug for his birthday,
bearing the legend (in comic sans of course)
"The internet's Rob Manuel". Show us your
plates of hate.

* BIKE LIGHT DISCO - we used to have them as
students - does anyone still bother? Or is
there some modern alternative with waving your
phones about?

* WAYS OF CURING THE SHITS WITHOUT IMODIUM -
we've had trouble in this area all week and,
Christ, the pills are a devil's blessing. What
works for you?

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Professor Kenny
Martin, Frizzletoe and Wine, iowaseven, Duncan
Biscuits, ereuben, mr_chopper, mafbailey,
pascalsirletti, Diamondflamer. Additional
linkage and image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjlols via
andicap. Sickigag via eviltorry.

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SICKIPEDIA:
My internet connection was so slow yesterday I
ended up just shagging the wife.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 858 - Dec. 09, 2009 - You Just Might Be A Scrooge if...

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

Time for something NEW - we never disappoint!

Trapped at the office waiting for happy hour can be a snoozefest. No more. The Toilet Paper is daily email newsletter delivers the most shocking quotes, stats, facts, and lists about one noteworthy news topic each day. Laser sharp, bust out funny, and not afraid to cross the line. Sign up to make this happy hour part of your routine.

IT'S STRANGE! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
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------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

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==================================

Strange "Drinking" Quotes:L

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may ca use pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Just Might Be A Scrooge...

If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon - you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park - you just might be a Scrooge

If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log -you just might be a Scrooge

If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat - you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by OJ Simpson -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite past time is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn caricatures with egg nog - you just might be a Scrooge

And, finally - if your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin - you just might be a Scrooge

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE OLDE STARS - WHERE ARE THEY NOW? THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY - SUSAN DEY - LAURIE PARTRIDGE - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/158110.html

AMAZING WATERMELON CARVING & DECORATING - BIRD & TURTLE - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/158337.html

US NAVY F-4 PHANTOMS ESCORT RUSSIAN TU-95 OVER USS KITTY HAWK - COLD WAR FLY BY 1964 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/158167.html

BRITNEY SPEARS - HIGHLIGHTS & LOWLIGHTS FROM 1997 TO TODAY - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/158370.html

STRANGE MEN THE BECAME BEAUTIFUL FEMALES - 15 - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/158383.html

BEST/WORST CHRISTMAS YARD DECORATION EVER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/158399.html

DANGEROUS BRIDGE PROBLEM - CENTER SPAN OVER RIVER GONE! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/158415.html

STRANGE TRIPLE BICYCLE - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/158417.html

GREAT OLDE PICTURES SOUTHWEST INDIANS - COWBOYS - PPS PRESENTATION - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/158237.html

STRANGE FISHING - HAWK CARRIES LARGE MOUTH BASS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/158416.html

F6 F-3 - FLYING OVER CALIFORNIA - 1943 - (COLOR PHOTO) - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/158240.html

STRANGE CANNED FOODS! - BUZZARD GIZZARDS - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/156920.html

STRANGE RAILROAD TRAINS - OVER HUGE BRIDGE IN EUROPE - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/158292.html

1959 CADILLAC ELDORADO CONVERTIBLE - RED - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/157152.html

THE CASUAL DOG - WHAT UP HOMEY? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/157317.html

STRANGE FUTURE AUTOS - 1 - COOL PICKUP - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/157808.html

TRACTOR PULL PROBLEM - OUT OF CONTROL! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/157885.html

STRANGE OBITUARIES - JAMES WILLIAM ADAMS - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/157911.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - OLD Airline Ad Campaigns - Hot Stewardesses - "Fly Me" - When Flying was still FUN!

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/100671_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Facts About The Human Body - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/158365.html

Strange Facts About 1909 vs Today! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/158366.html

9 Strange Animals That Ran for Government - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/158211.html

Would You Get Married Again Asks Wife? Golf Story - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/158400.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - OLD Airline Ad Campaigns - Hot Stewardesses - "Fly Me" - When Flying was still FUN!

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/121_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

Time for something NEW! - We never disappoint!

Trapped at the office waiting for happy hour can be a snoozefest. No more. The Toilet Paper is daily email newsletter delivers the most shocking quotes, stats, facts, and lists about one noteworthy news topic each day. Laser sharp, bust out funny, and not afraid to cross the line. Sign up to make this happy hour part of your routine.

IT'S STRANGE! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.thetoiletpaper.com/?ref=30215

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

Vol 857 - Dec. 06, 2009 - The Top 15 Forgotten Olde Tyme Christmas Carols

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Christmas Quotes

"Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want-and their kids pay for it." - Rixhard Lamm

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays." Henny Youngman

"Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Football Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence." Erma Bombeck

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - The Top 15 Forgotten Olde Tyme Christmas Carols

15 Pestilence Is Comin' to Town

14 Do You Smell What I Smell?

13 Blood Let Ye Merry Gentlemen

12 Giveth Thy Caroling Neighbors Money, or We'll Tell the Towne of Thy Predilection for Farme Animals

11 Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

10 Daddy Lost His Fingers A-Makin' the Christmas Sausage

9 All I Want for Christmas is my Grog and Mead

8 Espied Have I Father Christmas and My Mother Dear Under the Candled Tree Embracing Nakedly

7 Joy to the World, Flat Disk That It Is

6 Best Friggin' Leave Some Friggin' Cookies for Santa This Friggin' Year, Ye Friggin' Ingrates

5 We Three Moyles of Orient Are

4 The Cloven Hoofe of a Reindeer Hath Laid My Mother's Mother to her Rest

3 Wake Up, Ye Merry Gentlemen -- My Husband Hath Arriveth Home Early!

2 Oh, Who Shall Cut the Christmas Cheese?

..and the Number 1 Forgotten Olde Tyme Christmas Carol...

1 Mistletoe, Schmistletoe: If I Feel Thy Tongue, Thy Head Will Roll

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

V-22 OSPREY - NOSE ON! - CHECKING OUT THE BEACH! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/158164.html

STRANGE LIGHTNING OVER AIR CRAFT CARRIER DECK LOADED WITH MILITARY JETS - A-6 INTRUDERS - F-18'S - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/158166.html

SEXY SURFER GIRLS PLAYING IN THE CURLS - HANGIN' 5! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/158184.html

STRANGE PET CEMETERIES & TOMBSTONES - TAIWAN - SMALL CRYPTS FOR ASHES - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/156636.html

RARE LIFE MAGAZINE HITLER 3rd REICH COLOR PHOTOS - PPS PRESENTATION - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/158235.html

WWII - AERIAL PHOTO OF BERKENAU EXTERMINATION COMPLEX - OSWIECIM, POLAND - 5-31-44 - http://www.strangmilitary.com/content/item/158239.html

STRANGE CANNED FOODS! - POWERED HORSE MILK! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/156918.html

STRANGE RAILROAD TRAINS - GRAIN ELEVATOR - MODEL T TRUCK - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/158291.html

STRANGE BLONDES - LOOKING FOR TIGER! - BIG LIPS - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/158298.html

STRANGE WEATHER VANES AROUND THE WORLD - DAIRY COW - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/157290.html

RARE STARWARS SCENES & CHARACTERS - WOOKIE FAMILY - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/158307.html

STRANGE & GOOFY CAKES - 17TH B-DAY - UNDERWARE? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/157632.html

STRANGE & UNUSUAL ROCK FORMATIONS - WAVE ROCK - AUSTRALIA - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/157647.html

STRANGE & UNUSUAL BOOKENDS - SUPERHEROS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/157729.html

HARVEST TIME! 30 - COMBINES CLEAR THE WHEAT FIELD! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/158314.html

ELEPHANT ON THE RAMPAGE ! DESTROYS VAN - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/158315.html

LOGGING THE OLD FASHIONED WAY - BUCK SAWS & WEDGES! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/158316.html

STRANGE SPORTS UNIFORMS - CRAZY SOCCER OUTFIT - HIDE YOUR FACE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/158317.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - ST - Strange Food & Eating Related Problems - Fast Food - Culinary Issues

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/category/100583_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Silly Riddles - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/158148.html

Blonde With Strange Password - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/158149.html

One Liners - aka Groaners! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/158162.html

Tiger Woods Jokes - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/158215.html

7 Strange Beliefs About Sleep - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/157971.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - ST - Strange Food & Eating Related Problems - Fast Food - Culinary Issues

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/category/121_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

---------------------

NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED!

Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings

http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

------------------------

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html

[b3ta] "I've finished all the chocs in my advent calendar; why the fuck isn't it Xmas?"

 

This Week:
* WORLDFACE - Like Facebook but with countries
* KUNT - He's back with 'wank fantasy'
* CHERYL COLE - Our new twitter friend

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | rainforests...
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| for match wood."

B3ta email 407 - 4 Dec 2009

Read this with The Mission's Wayne Hussey:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue407/

Friend: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Unfriend: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Frankie Boyle - My Shit Life So Far

Probably the best-named autobiography ever.
Buy it.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0007324499/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Disaster, Politics, Wanking and Sex

>> Worldface <<
"There have been social networking satires
before," brags Mike Fishcake. "But this one
isn't shit!" Phil Fishcake has made a comedy
Facebook for countries. Even better, it's
interactive and you can suggest your own
statuses but "shit ones will be kicked in the
face," warns a stern Mike.
http://www.worldface.co.uk/

>> Wank fantasy <<
"There's a new vid just this second gone up on
youTube for our song 'wank fantasy'," explains
Kunt. "It features a real page 3 glamour lady
in it and everything." Not safe for work. BTW:
Kunt has asked us not to mention the awesome
secret gig he is doing this weekend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1-FfRFFGW0

>> Hollywood vs New York <<
Fire, floods and gigantic space-lizards - not
David Icke's brain, but Goodiebag Kirby with a
musical montage of Hollywood's long love affair
with New York. Exciting stuff!
http://www.goodiebag.tv/2009/11/hollywood-vs-new-york/

>> I Make the Girls <<
"I was recently approached by a rapper wanting
a video for his new 'sensual' track," explains
Jamwire. "I responded with this
delicately-constructed pastiche charting the
virile young wordsmith's love encounters. The
jury's still out." There's something that just
sings out to us about this level of contempt
for the client! NSFW due to cut-out sexual
antics.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mr_Drastick_I_Make_the_Girls

-------------------------------------------------

: SICKIPEDIA COMEDY NIGHT 2.0

The night that should NEVER happen is back…

This Wednesday is the second Sickipedia Comedy
Night, at the Old Blue Last in sunny
Shoreditch. Stuff will be kicking off about
8pm. and if it's anything like the last one,
it'll be packed out with excited people and Rob
will be sweating bullets in case one of the
comics up there gets us all beaten up and
thrown out. Awesome.

The line-up features returning favourites
tricyclic_looper and mushybees along with Joel
Veitch, Jewish Nazi, David Stevenson and new
faces Dan Pearce, Boyce Bailey, Michael J, Nick
James, Richard Tingley, Robert Auton, Jay Rolfe
and Jeremy Gomez. We literally have no clue
what almost any of these people will do, which
is how we like it.
http://snurl.com/sickipedia20

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Cliff Richard posters! Yays! <<
1. Choose a 'celebrity' - we like Cliff.
2. Write abusive message which transposes
itself in style of celebrity's handwriting.
3. Right-click and save
4. Send picture of Cliff Richard calling them a
fat knacker to friend.
5. Joy.
BTW: This censors works like homo and gay, but
not twat.
http://www.universalposter.com/

>> The joy of work <<
A blog about the fun of having a completely
insane boss. Good if you're in any mood to do
long read-y things.
http://goodaftermornings.blogspot.com/

>> Temporary ski-jumps <<
Back in olden times there was a craze for
building temporary ski-jumps in sporting
stadiums. They look pretty mental and should be
revived.
http://snurl.com/fuckinghell

>> Best Woolly Hat Ever <<
Does she look like a pokemon or a rapist? Or
both?
http://snurl.com/rapeywoo

>> Cheryl Kerl on twitter <<
Amusing spoof alert. Sample entry: "Joa's
soundin mint t'dee. Danii and Seimon's lookin
leik thor beuth stuffed an a coase Louis cannat
give a murnkey's chuff."
http://twitter.com/CherylKerl

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like gifs with sound

>> Hamster jazz <<
Cute viral for some bottled water company -
loving it for the simple, bold execution of the
idea. Just get some hamsters and some tiny
instruments, stick some jam on them and - with
a bit of editing - you have a hamster band.
Brilliant idea. Still, we bet the water smells
like a hamster's cage. HA! Take that marketing
people.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/D_Fluffeh

>> Henry 8.0 <<
Loving this sketch from the BBC / TV production
company Monkey. We've been quoting it literally
all week. "It's like crunchy air!" and "I want
a roast!" Proof that Brian Blessed will improve
any script by a factor of 100x.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/extra/video/p005bqp0

>> OK Go making of WTF video <<
Internet video-hit band OK Go explain how they
went about making their latest psychedelic
production. Switches rapidly between a green
room with some planks and full-on
insane-o-vision (tm). Impatient viewers may
want to skip the first minute or so.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNeItlrTdvY

>> Sex Offender Shuffle <<
A loveable posse of sex offenders dance and rap
about how nice they really are.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sex_Offender_Shuffle

>> Font-based Lady Gaga parody <<
Exceptionally geeky homage to the Neutra
typeface inspired, obviously, by Lady Gaga's
Pokerface. Hot, hot nerd action.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHCu28bfxSI

>> I gotta feeling <<
Bloke wakes up covered in sick and tries to
piece together what happened at the party last
night, all via the medium of song.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/I_gotta_feeling

-------------------------------------------------

: THANKS FOR SHARING
Blind reader confesses his porn habits

bmustillrose writes -

"Hey, I figured I'd give you the lowdown on
what us blind folk have in the way of porn.

"Some of us like erotica like some (weird)
sighted people; this is purely text based and
can be found at sites like http://www.asstr.org
The main advantage to this is that you can read
it at a stupidly fast speed with your screen
off / not connected and no one will be able to
tell what you're doing; people have been known to
read it in classes. The obvious disadvantage is
that the voice that is depicting all this stuff
to you is usually a very robotic-sounding male;
I never understand how people can get off to this.

"What most people seem to like is audio
descriptions of sex scenes. There used to be a
site for this that tried to sell blind people
recordings of very unhot-sounding girls talking
about how they like to play with themselves but
thankfully it's no longer with us. An example of
something vaguely like it is the stuff that
pornfortheblind.org creates, for example this 2
girls 1 cup description at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EclaJ4THvEs
(Give it a bit of time to get going)

"Again, the problem with this is that it's even
more human-sounding males reading it, so you
might as well be wanking over 2 guys shitting
in a cup and eating it. The defunked
soundsdirty.com wasn't that much better because
all the girls had terrible voices; voice is
very important to me along with most blind
people.

"What I like to do, which not that many blind
people do for some reason, is to torrent a
normal porn film and then strip the video out
of it to save disk space. This way I get much
hotter-sounding girls, more realistic and
longer scenes plus the files are pretty small
since they're mp3s - although it's pretty crucial
that the actors are only girls.

"So there you go, perhaps the next time you
feel the urge you can try some of the ^ or at
the very least try cleaning up with your eyes
closed."

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Desktop Icon Challenge

Last week we wanted you to make art from your
desktop.

Your favourites included:

* PUNK - The Clash's classic Rock The Casbah
gets the Windows treatment (collapsibletank)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9811275

* 9/11 - Desktop terrorism as a carefully-aimed
gif brings chaos to New York City (Seaman
Gabber)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9810650

* STEGOSAURUS - jurassic-tastic rendering of
multi-coloured folder dinosaur (Mu)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/9810285

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/desktop-art/

>> New challenge: Jesus On Tour <<
According to The News, Jesus may have visited
Britain. What did he come to see? Show us what
he got up to on our dingy island, or what he
might be doing now if he were to suddenly turn
up again. Challenge suggested by The Great
Architect.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/jesusUK/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* HIP-HOP ALBUM IN AN AFTERNOON - "Myself and
two friends got ruined in a village in Camborne
and recorded a Hip Hop LP in an afternoon,"
confesses Sadeagle. "It was all made up on the
spot and was recorded in a day." This is very
odd - the sound of three lads slowly getting
catastrophically stoned in Cornwall.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/I_will_probably_regret_this

* "DEAR HOME SECRETARY" - Swiftly becoming a
hip-hop Henry Root, here's Dan Bull with
another musical missive. This time he's ragging
on Alan Johnson, who is refusing to intervene
in the case of autistic hacker Gary McKinnon.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Lo_Been_writing_more_letters

* AMAZON SPUNK - A while back we linked to a
book called 'Overcoming Obstacles with Spunk'.
Dave W writes to say, "It looks like several
b3tans have been busy 'helping' Amazon by
contributing suggestions for 'Tags Customers
Associate with This Product'. At this moment in
time the most popular tags are 'Monkey Custard'
and 'Population Paste', although 'Man Fat' and
'Bukkake' also make an appearance."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0981621023/b3ta-21

* HEROIN CHICKS - "I am totally creeped out by
the heroin chicks," writes Peter McKillon.
"Some wanker goes up to a half-presentable bird
with a heroin problem, and says, 'Here's some
smack, love. Now get your kit off and shoot up
for Mr Camera here.' Then he goes home, locks
himself in his room, loads up Photoshop, and
draws neat little black squares over their
crotches. WTF?? What twisted sense of
propriety is that?

"Here's the other thing that gets me. I looked
at all of them. Twice."

ROB SAYS: "Thanks for reminding me - I'll have
to look again now."

* MORE LIFT BUTTONS - "Your bit in the last
newsletter about whether pushing buttons would
speed up lifts reminded me of a story which
might be of interest," confides costas.

"I read about a company whose office lifts were
always attracting complaints. Workers kept
moaning to the Maintenance department that the
lifts were too slow, always took ages to
arrive, and could anything be done to speed
them up?

"Then one day the same department started
getting calls from people thanking them for
speeding the lifts up. People were delighted
that they now didn't have to wait as long for
the lifts to arrive. This baffled the
maintenance people, who'd done nothing. So they
went to investigate.

"They went to the lifts on the ground floor and
soon realised what had happened. That day,
they'd been installing some huge mirrors in the
toilets, and had left a couple propped up
against the wall by the lifts. People wanting a
lift would push the button, notice the mirrors,
then get so distracted as they preened
themselves that before they knew it, the lift
had arrived.

"All sorts of psychological experiments back
this up - People seem to lose track of time
when gazing at their beautiful phizzogs."

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* GLITTER SHITTER - DrPoppers writes, "I've
been thinking about Dr Gillian McKeith or as
she should technically be called, Gillian
McKeith. I want a b3tan to eat several sheets
of cake-decorating gold leaf and photograph
their own sparkly turds. It'd be great."

* KY ALTERNATIVES? - Jeff Balls writes, "We at
work were wondering what alternatives to
standard KY jelly b3ta people have used as lube
whilst having a quick Hilary Swank. Would WD 40
work?"

* CAFES TO ALWAYS SELL CHIPS - we just went to
a crap cafe for a hangover cure and they didn't
sell chips. There should be laws against this.
Cafes = chips.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Links via by Lamsicle, tacpprm, Neil
Stevenson, W00tmedia, The_Fiend, pissflaps,
@goodiebag, planearm. Subjlols via F0RDI3.
Sickipedia gag via the legendary
tricyclic_looper. Additional linkage and image
challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW
bloke.

-------------------------------------------------

Remember – drinking alcohol can seriously harm
your baby. Especially if you're in Portugal and
can't be arsed to pay for a babysitter.
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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Vol 856 - Dec. 02, 2009 - Strange Accident Claims in England

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -

---------------------

NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes About Life's Little Mysteries:

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.
--Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stone, December 2, 1976.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. - Carole Burnett

With all due respect to the world's great drummers - it ain't brain surgery. - Mickey Dolenz, 1996

Our bodies are just temporary vessels for our souls, which will go on forever. You really are an extension of the power that created the whole universe, no matter what drags you have on. - Ru Paul

If I hadn't been a woman, I'd have been a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? - -Zsa Zsa Gabor

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Accident Claims in England

These are some daft things whcih have been written on Insurance claim forms

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo

"I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and another on the woman behind".

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn't give way."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"While proceeding through 'Monkey Jungle', the vehicle was enveloped by small fat brown grinning monkeys. Number three fat brown monkey (with buck teeth) proceeded to swing in an anticlockwise direction on the radio aerial. Repeated requests to desist were ignored. Approximately 2 minutes and 43 seconds later, small fat brown monkey disappeared in 'Monkey Jungle' clutching radio aerial."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."

"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I thought my window was down, but I found out it wasn't when I put my head through it".

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way".

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car".

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plans all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the pedestrian."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him."

"I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the roof of my car"

"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

NFL CHEERLEADER HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST - INDIAN MAIDEN - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/158084.html

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STRANGE OLDE STARS - WHERE ARE THEY NOW? CAGNEY & LACEY - SHARON GLESS & TYNE DALY - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/158109.html

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1900 - BRITISH COLUMBIA LOGGING TRAIN USES LOGS AS TRACKS! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/157813.html

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TIGER WOODS FAMILY PICTURE & DOGS - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/158140.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - Strange Products - Gimmicks - Items - Inventions

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/100475_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

10 Strangest Celebrity Baby Names - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/157908.html

Kids to be THANKFUL for! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/157952.html

Strange Dragster Driver Nicknames! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/157996.html

-Top 50 OXYMORON'S - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/24844.html

-The Pweor of the hmuan mnid - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/24866.html

Chocolate Mathematics - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/101147.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - Strange Products - Gimmicks - Items - Inventions

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==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

New! --------------- NEW STRANGE WEBSITES!-------------------

Old Pictures & Images - History - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/

Farmers - Crops - Tractors - Farm Animals - http://www.strangefarmer.com/

Racing! - F1 - NASCAR - Dirt Bikes - http://www.strangeracer.com/

Blondes - Celebs - Models - Musicians - http:www.StrangeBlondes.com/

-----------NEW -------------New! ---------------New! ----------

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

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Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

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---------------------

NEW THIS WEEK - GAMES! - GAMES! - GAMES!

WE JUST ADDED 28 BRAND NEW FUN GAMES! CHECK OUT THE NEW GAMES TAB
ON THE NAVIGATION BAR. IT WILL TAKE YOU TO HOURS OF FUN!

CHECKOUT CUBE CRASHER - OUTBACK OLYMPICS - WORD DROP - PIG RACE!
ESPECIALLY FUN IS 'BAILOUT DEFENDER' - SHOOT DOWN BOMB BELTED
FLYING PIGS TRYING TO BLOW UP OBAMA IN AIR FORCE ONE AS HE
TOSSES OUT MONEY TO THE MASSES!

IT'S A BLAST! CHECK IT OUT - CLICK ON THIS LINK!
http://www.strangefunkidz.com/static/games.html

------------------------

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