VOL 1560 - DEC. 18, 2016 - Top Ten Things A Department Store Santa Doesn't Want To Hear From Kids

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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DECEMBER FUN!


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THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas brings us closer to each other. - Emily Matthews

The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others' burdens, easing other's loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas. - WC Jones

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Top Ten Things A Department Store Santa Doesn't Want To Hear From Kids


Top Ten Things A Department Store Santa Doesn't Want To Hear From Kids

10. "Remember me? I'm the kid with the weak bladder"

9. "You smell like supermarket gin"

8. "The real miracle on 34th Street would be if they accepted my mom's MasterCard"

7. "I want a 2017 Tesla"

6. "Oh, by the way, if I don't get an X-Box, I'm gonna hunt you down, old man"

5. "I'm Jewish"

4. "I love you Kenny Rogers"

3. "Frankly I'm just here to humor my parents"

2. "While I'm talking to you, my mom is shoplifting blouses"

1. "Mom says you're my real daddy"


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