This Week:
* ACID - George Osborne's 90s trip
* METH - Mesmeric face loops
* JAZZ - Musical hedgehog
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We've picking our
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | noses and finding
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| bits of twigs"
B3ta email 644 - 28 Nov 2014
Read this issue on your iWatch, if battery lasts:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue644
Love us : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Shove us : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
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: BUY T-SHIRTS FOR XMAS
These guys have got you covered for funny
T-shirt Christmas present solutions...
http://www.itiswhatitis.co.uk/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
>> George at work - 1990 mix <<
We all saw George Osborne hungover in parliament
the other day. HappyToast has remixed it to
deliver the visuals it really needed. No vapour
trails mind you.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/George_at_work_1990_mix
>> Alan Sugar Drum Machine <<
Approximately the same quality as his Amstrad
devices. Thanks 'bill g christmas'
http://www.feckbags.com/sugardrum
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: USVSTH3M STUFF
Three bestest thing we think you should see
* PERSONALITY QUIZ GENERATOR - Sick of
personality quizzes? This generator will make
you EVEN SICKER.
* SUPER TORY BOY - Choose between David Cameron
& George Osborne then SMASH THE POOR!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/super-tory-boy/
* HOW OLD IS YOUR HEARING? - find out the true
age of your poor lugholes. Or how filthy they
are, of course.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-old-is-your-hearing/
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: BEST STORY YOU'LL EVER READ ABOUT JIM DAVIDSON
On set one day, the script called for Jim
Davidson's character to get punched by a minor
character. The crew hated Davidson, so had a
whip round and paid the visiting actor to
actually punch Jim when the time came, instead
of doing a pretend telly punch. This the young
actor did.
Davidson was so outraged he told the young actor
he would use his clout to make sure the young
man never acted again.
The young actor in question was international
movie star David Thewlis.
Take from the 'London Sitcom Map'
-------------------------------------------------
FACT: OVER 130,000 have clicked Like on the LSD
Facebook page. Why?
-------------------------------------------------
: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
1. Use 'UKIPsum' to generate dummy copy for
your website
2. Very vaguely say 'lol'
3. Accidentally publish
4. Get fired
* So someone has worked out how to sell one
rubbish pair of socks for £7.99. The secret?
Call them 'wanksocks'.
* A very funny and well done gif by Orbojunglist
http://giphy.com/gifs/ByUDWjce12r3q
* BBC News 'insulation cock' - barryheadwound
writes, "I need to lay off b3ta for a while if I
giggle at this photo."
http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30242073
* Mesmeric meth face videoloops
http://www.rehabs.com/explore/faces-of-addiction/
* The Debunking Handbook, a guide to debunking
misinformation, is now freely available to
download.
-------------------------------------------------
: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
TV! But with more compression artefacts
* JAZZ HEDGEHOG - the cutest thing you'll see
today and reminds us of the great piano work on
Bowie's Aladdin Sane.
* Conservative man defends Christmas from hordes
of nonexistent threats
* Surf-Rock version of 'My Lady Hunsdon's Puffe'
by John Dowland. Housed writes, "I met John (the
guitarist in the video) when my landlord sent
him round to do some plumbing work for my flat,
during which he mentioned to me that he makes
videos. This is one of his finest."
* Amazingly classist news report. Old but gold.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Brilliantly_classist_news_report
* Cat vs Xmas tree - who will win?
* Cats puking to techno. No cats were forced
to puke during the making of this video.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/CaC_puking_to_techno
-------------------------------------------------
FUN FACT: There's an A. Crowley who writes for
the Daily Telegraph. Hail Satan!
------------------------------------------------
: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the 'Smoking' challenge
Last week we asked you to try and make smoking
popular again.
Your favourites included:
* KARDASHIAN: turns out she does have a talent
(Penultimate Straw)
http://b3ta.com/board/11112713
* PICARD: Stressful business running a spaceship
(Frogbeat)
http://b3ta.com/board/11112844
* PICASSO: The weeping woman calms her nerves
(monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11110420
All these images, and a couple more can be found
here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/smokesandstuff/popular/
>> New challenge: Art Damage <
This week we're dealing with damaged art, from
Cecilia Giménez's botched restoration of Ecce
Homo to the Venus de Milo. Either damage the art
yourself or fix a broken bit.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/artdamage/
-------------------------------------------------
FACT: If we ran Twitter backwards it would start
with a vicious culture war, everyone screaming
and not listening & end with happy geeks saying
hi to each other.
-------------------------------------------------
: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* Unshareable quizzes - how unconsciously racist
are you?
* More unshareable quizzes - what does your porn
taste say about you?
* Make a concept album imagining what a Thom
Yorke solo album sounds like without ever
listening to one. Call it "I Am A Fridge".
Send contributions via the mail form.
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
-------------------------------------------------
Join: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Leave: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------------------------
Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard:
-------------------------------------------------
THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Frogbeat, Fluffster,
wakeupandsmellthebacon, jonofthesouth, The Tramp
Surveyor, Jimbotfu pissflaps. Image challenge by
Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Tip via just a vagabond.
Subjlol via Tribs.
-------------------------------------------------
TOP TIP:
Attain carbon-neutral status by connecting your
wanking arm to a dynamo that powers your
smartphone when watching porn on it.
Posted by: rob@b3ta.com
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