This Week: * CHIMPS - Constantly-mutating rampage * GOAT - Simulator game * RETRO - Which 8-bit computer are you? ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're still doing ___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | web lols... __/____/____/\__/_/ |_| together" B3ta email 618 - 7 Feb 2014 Read this issue whilst thinking about doge: http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue618 Fun : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Bums : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com ------------------------------------------------- : SPONSORED LINK Michael Gove: Everything I know about teaching Yeah you can probably guess, this book is just fucking blank. Still, it's got your shitty, "funny reviews" that the internet loves. E.g "I am currently reading it onto audiobook format, so you can enjoy 8 hours of Gove's brilliance even as you drive." http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1492912417/b3ta-21 >> Sponsor B3ta << Want this space? Then talk to us. ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK >> Cyriak's ever-mutating chimps << "Ugly hairy mutating bastards that they are," writes Cyriak, who is more of a fan of New World primates such as the marmoset. This video is not for those of a nervous disposition. http://www.b3ta.com/links/I_made_a_video_about_chimps >> The Artistic Genius << "Gustav shows us the inner workings of his artistic journey," explains oliputland. His animated outpourings say a lot about the art market. http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Artistic_Genius >> The URL Parameters Quiz << "I spent all day making a quiz for geeks," pipes Spacefish. "Maybe it will raise a chuckle for one of you." We scored 45% but reckon we could have got higher if we tried. http://www.glastonbridge.co.uk/games/urlquiz/ ------------------------------------------------- : USVSTH3M BOLLOCKS The other thingie bob we're involved in * Which 8-bit computer you are? Spectrum, C64, BBC or Amstrad? http://games.usvsth3m.com/which-8-bit-computer-are-you/ * The Internet Proficiency Test - Should you even be allowed a WiFi connection? http://games.usvsth3m.com/internet-proficiency-test/ * How Facebook-Obsessed Are You? - Find out now! http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-facebook-obsessed-are-you/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates * How In-App Purchases Have Destroyed The Mobile Gaming Industry * Online simulated Theremin - with added psychedelic effects http://www.femurdesign.com/theremin/ * Viz's scrounging bastards from the 1990s is weirdly predictive of the actual media now. We live in shitty times, friends. http://oi42.tinypic.com/j7q5x2.jpg * Coke's Superbowl ad brings out the crayon eaters. Yuck. * Clever printed ads. Because, essentially, clever kids go into advertising and do their clever shit for advertising people instead of art patrons. ------------------------------------------------- : VIDEO SCHMIDEO * Supercut of wrestlers inhaling before bellowing testosterone. An accurate simulation of being fucked by a WWF guy. Maybe that's your thing, we won't judge. http://www.b3ta.com/links/No_words * Animation School Dropout. Finally. Something weirder than Cyriak. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Animation_School_Dropout * Goat Simulator! The best preview of a bullshit game you'll see this week. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Goat_simulator * Alternative fan-made Robocop remake - each contributor made a few seconds. Pretty mind blowing to watch. http://www.b3ta.com/links/Alternative_Robocop_remake * Extraordinary special effects from 1970s Doctor who. Literally, this is like some children playing with dinosaur toys. Poor Jon Pertwee is having to emote to this shit. * Amazing fresh new HD footage of Felix Baumgartner's fall from space. Put on headphones and watch it fullscreen. ------------------------------------------------- : FUNNY NAME CORNER Not funny or cornery but fuck it * BBC having fun with their captions: ------------------------------------------------- : QUESTION OF THE WEEK Stag and Hen Nights Last week we wanted your stag and hen night survivor stories. As most of them are long and involved, we've quoted some best bits below: http://b3ta.com/questions/stagsandhens/ * "Well folks, I can tell you that chugging half a pint of vodka and tabasco does indeed destroy someone. It also destroys anything else within a spray radius of twelve feet. Comprehensively." * "OH SWEET JESUS I CAN SMELL IT IMMEDIATELY. IT'S LIKE I'VE OPENED THE ARK OF THE GARLIC FUCKING COVENANT. I AM BECOME DEATH." * "The owner immediately told us that he didn't have an alcohol license as he was a committed christian and didn't approve of drunkenness." * "I was a bit miffed at not being invited to a mate's stag party until I remembered that I'd slept with both his bride AND his sister." * "Why did you choose this shit hole hotel?" "Because REGAL is LAGER backwards" >> This Week - DODGY BOOZERS << Tell us stories of the skankiest, craziest or down-right dangerous bars you've been to: http://b3ta.com/questions/dodgyboozers/ ------------------------------------------------- Yeah: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Nope: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by skeltonator, mutated monty, fred zeppelin, tarka_dall, Fadgebadger, Ya What and Extinct Jesus Dossier, chompedhomas, sinisterduck, Beh3moth and colmcq2. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjlols via me. Top tip via GeordieJay. ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Make tigers think they are normal-sized cats by throwing giant balls of string at them.
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