Vol 1177 Dec 30, 2012 - HAPPY NEW YEAR! - Strange New Year's Resolutions for Pets

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -



Happy New Year!

A Few New Years Eve Toasts for your pals!

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The Lord gives our relatives,
Thank God we can choose our friends.

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Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!

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May you never lie, cheat, or drink.
But if you must lie, lie in each other's arms.
If you must cheat, cheat death.
And if you must drink, drink with all of us
because we love you.

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May we live to learn well, and learn to live well.
May you live as long as you want,
and never want as long as you live.


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DOGS DOING WHAT DOGS DO - CAUSING TROUBLE !

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Strange "Father Time" Quotes:

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz

Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. - Margaret Bonnano

Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. - Jorge Louis Borges

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. - Dion Boucicault

Oh Time! the beautifier of the dead, adorer of the ruin, comforter and only healer when the heart hath bled... Time, the avenger! - Lord Byron

One life - a little gleam of Time between two Eternities. - Thomas Carlyle

Take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves. - Lord Chesterfield

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - New Year's Resolutions for Pets


New Year's Resolutions for Pets

1. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.

2. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

3. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.

4. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.

5. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

6. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids, or they'll flush my butt.

7. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

8. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.

9. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

10. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

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