Vol 584 - April 25, 2007 - The Bible for Dummies

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

-------------------------------

INCREDIBLE HOTEL DISCOUNTS! Check out these prices and compare them to any others! Book your Vacation or Business Travel TODAY:

Check out the HOTEL Specials: http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055

Or, Search any Other Destination! http://www.strangetravel.com/

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

==================================

Strange Quotes:

"You'll conquer the present, suspiciously fast

If you smell of the future, and stink of the past." -- Piet Hein

--------------------------------

To do, is to be. - Socrates

To be, is to do. - Aristotole

Do be do be do. - Sinatra

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - The Bible for Dummies

The Bible for Dummies

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information read only during the homily. 2. Catholic air conditioning. 3. Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELIEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. 2. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass– led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

Submitted by Kelly H.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE HOVERCRAFT - ISLAND FERRY - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/123870.html

COOL OLD INDIAN MOTORCYCLE WITH SIDECAR - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/124245.html

STRANGE "CLOWN FACE" URINAL - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/124656.html

BABY RHINO - OUT FOR A JOG - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/124729.html

PROFESSIONAL PIANO MOVERS DROP $75,000 PIANO - 4 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/124759.html

CONFIRMED BACHELOR FINALLY EXPLAINS - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/124755.html

THE ULTIMATE TATTOO - COLORS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/124767.html

STRANGE REDNECK HOUSEBOAT - WITH SUN DECK! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/124768.html

BABYSITTING - REDNECK TIME OUT! DUCT TAPE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/124769.html

STRANGE "WHITE OUT" STREET ADVERTISING! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/124770.html

STRANGE HELO SURFER - BIG WAVE! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/124772.html

STRANGE TRACKED VEHICLE W/ SNORKLE! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/124776.html

STRANGE 3 SEAT TRIKE - HUGE REAR WHEEL! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/124777.html

TEETH PROBLEMS? JUST PICK YOUR OWN - DENTISTRY ON THE STREET IN INDIA - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/124778.html

STRANGE BOAT RACE - FLYING OVER THE WAVES - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/124780.html

BEAR CLIMBS ABOARD SEAPLANE - "I DON'T NEED A BOARDING PASS!" - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/124781.html

STRANGE VW AD - RETIRED CRASH TEST DUMMIES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/124779.html

COOL F-15 SHOT - SILHOUETTE - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/124782.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - WATER SPORTS - SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - DIVING - SURFING - KAYAK

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100661_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange But True Facts! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/124783.html

Strange Business Facts and Truisms - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/124784.html

Strange Things People Put on Resumes - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/124785.html

Ever Wondered What the "Odds" Really Are? - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/124786.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SS - WATER SPORTS - SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - DIVING - SURFING - KAYAK

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/118_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/

Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/

Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/

Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/

Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/

All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/

Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/

Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/

Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/

Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/

Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/

Hurricanes - Lightning – Tsunami's - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/

==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger

Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html