VOL 1271 - NOV. 20, 2013 - Strange Analogies Contest

E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

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NOVEMBER FUN


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NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:


http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_5501.html
STRANGE RAILROAD TRAINS - LOCOMOTIVES - RAIL CARS

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_10738.html
OLDE STARS AND THEIR FANCY CARS - FROM A 1911 MODEL T TO NEWER ROLLS ROYCE'S

http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/news_8100.html
RALLY CARS & TRUCKS - WHEELS OFF THE GROUND!

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/news_10053.html
DOGS TAKING A RIDE - ON MOTORCYCLE AND IN CARS AND TRUCKS!

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_6569.html
STRANGE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING - IS THIS REALLY A SPORT?

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Strange Quotes About Life's Little Mysteries:

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.
--Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stone, December 2, 1976.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. - Carole Burnett

With all due respect to the world's great drummers - it ain't brain surgery. - Mickey Dolenz, 1996

Our bodies are just temporary vessels for our souls, which will go on forever. You really are an extension of the power that created the whole universe, no matter what drags you have on. - Ru Paul

If I hadn't been a woman, I'd have been a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? - -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed? --Victoria Wood

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Analogies Contest

Bad Analogies

From the Washington Post, July 23, 1995

People were asked to come up with bad analogies. The results were great, though we feel compelled to point out that there is a fine line between an analogy that is so bad it is good and an analogy that is so good it is bad. See what we mean.

4th Runner-Up:

Oooo, he smells bad, she thought, as bad as Calvin Klein's Obsession would smell if it were called Enema and was made from spoiled Spamburgers instead of natural floral fragrances. (Jennifer Frank, Washington, and Jimmy Pontzer, Sterling)

3rd Runner-Up:

The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas. (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

2nd Runner-Up:

I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don't speak German. Anyway, it's a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don't know the name for those either. (Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)

1st Runner-Up:

She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe, and on top of that you can't sing worth a damn. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

And the winner of the framed Scarlet Fever sign:

His fountain pen was so expensive it looked as if someone had grabbed the pope, turned him upside down and started writing with the tip of his big pointy hat. (Jeffrey Carl, Richmond)

Honorable Mentions:

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. (Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. (Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring)

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. (Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.)

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. (Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup. (Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid>55328.comaaakk/ch@ung but gets T:lw.quid>aaakk/ch@ung by mistake (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man." (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. (Russell Beland, Springfield)

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. (Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria)

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. (Jennifer Frank and Jimmy Pontzer, Washington and Sterling)

After sending in my entries for the Style Invitational, I feel relieved and apprehensive, like a little boy who has just wet his bed. (Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.)


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE & OUTRAGEOUS STADIUM FOODS! - THE FIFTH THIRD BURGER - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/189675.html


STRANGE CHEVROLET CONVERTIBLE COLLECTION - EVERYONE EVER MADE! - 1 - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/189959.html


STRANGE WWI EQUIPMENT - CHECK OUT THE STRANGE "DAZZLE" CAMOUFLAGE USED ON WARSHIPS & DREADNOUGHTS IN 1919 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/189960.html


STRANGE AND GOOFY STUNTS - YOUNG MAN ON BICYCLE HOLDS ON TO CAR UNTIL GOING REALLY FAST - THEN STARTS TO SHOW OFF - LOSES CONTROL AND CRASHES - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangeccosmos.com/content/item/189961.html


STRANGE CELEBRITY PREDICTIONS - WHAT JAMIE FOX PREDICTED ABOUT MILEY CYRUS! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/189962.html


STRANGE SUPER MODEL COLLECTION - 2013 CLASS OF VICTORIA'S SECRET FASHION SHOW MODELS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189963.html


WEATHER DANGERS - HUGE TORNADO FUNNEL HEADING FOR THE MIDWEST HOMES IN ILLINOIS - 6 DEAD - SEEK COVER IMMEDIATELY! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/189964.html


STRANGE WIND TURBINE DANGERS - WATCH THIS HUGE TURBINE FALL FLAT ON IT'S TURBINE FACE - LIKE A FELLED TREE! - STRANGE GLOBAL WARMING ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189965.html


STRANGE CUT AWAY ITEMS - HERE'S WHAT AN AUTOMATIC PISTOL LOOKS LIKE CUT IN HALF! - COOL PIXS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/189966.html


WILD POLICE DEMONSTRATION AUTO CRASH GIF - WATCH CRASH TEST DUMMIES GO FLYING FROM A ROLLING FORD SUV! - AMAZING - DANGEROUS ACTION GIF - BUCKLE UP! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189967.html


TOURIST DANGERS - PICK POCKET GANG - WATCH THIS GANG DISTRACT OLD LADE AND SNEAK INTO HER PURSE AS OTHERS DISTRACT HER - THIEVES! - AMAZING POLICE ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/189968.html


STRANGE ALL WOODEN BICYCLE - FRAME - FENDERS - SEAT - HANDLEBARS - TATE BASKET! - AMAZING - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/189970.html


RARELY EVER SEEN OLDE CARS! - 1953 ALFA ROMEO BAT 5 CONCEPT - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/189969.html


NASCAR RACING DANGERS - PIT CREWMAN HAS TO JUMP ON THE HOOD OF #29 AS IT EXITS THE PIT AREA TO AVOID BEING RUN OVER - PIT CREW MADNESS - GREAT ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/189971.html


RARE MILITARY PIXS - US SOLDIERS SHORE UP HAWAIIAN BEACH AFTER DECEMBER 7, 1941 RAID - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/189972.html


STRANGE BUSINESS BUILDINGS - LOOKS LIKE A HUGE 4 STORY FISH! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/189973.html


STRANGE OLDE HISTORICAL PHOTOS - 1858 KNICKERBOCKER BASE BALL CLUB - HOBOKEN, NEW YORK - FIRST EVER TEAM PHOTO IN BASEBALL HISTORY - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/189974.html


STRANGE SWAMP PALS - HUGE DRAGON FLIE LANDS ON THE NOSE OF A SNAKE SWIMMING THROUGH THE SWAMP! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/189975.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - NASTY ACCIDENTS - NATURAL DISASTERS - POOR ROAD CONDITIONS - STRANGE PROBLEMS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100005_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Top 10 Strange Government Publicity Stunts - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/183581.html


Strange Facts And Myths About Microwave Ovens! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/183584.html


How Smart is Your Right Foot? - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/123350.html


The "Doo-Wop" Oldies Quiz - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/127112.html


Olde 'Burma Shave' Roadway Signs! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/128798.html


Wordsmithing Fun - The Mensa Invitational! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/135651.html


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The Featured New Category This Week - SV - NASTY ACCIDENTS - NATURAL DISASTERS - POOR ROAD CONDITIONS - STRANGE PROBLEMS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/120_1.html

==================================

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VOL 1270 - NOV. 17, 2013 - Strange Astrological Signs & Light Bulbs

E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

--------------------------------------


NOVEMBER FUN


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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
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NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:


http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/news_10322.html
STRANGE MILITARY SEAPLANES - WWI - WWI - KOREA - TODAY

http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/news_10680.html
DANGEROUS WEATHER - HUGE WATERSPOUTS SCARING SEAMAN AND HARBORMASTERS

http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/news_6643.html
RADAR COPS - HIDDEN RADAR - FAKE COP CARS - SPEEDERS!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_11003.html
INDIANAPOLIS 500 RACE - 100 YEARS OF SPECIAL RACING - OFFICIAL PACE CAR COLLECTION THROUGH THE YEARS

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/news_10511.html
AMAZING AERIAL FARM FIELD VIEWS - CORN MAZES - PORTRAITS - COOL STUFF!

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Strange Coincidences:

Mark Twain was born in 1835 on the day Halley's Comet made it's once every 75 year appearance.....he died in 1910 on the day the comet reappeared.

In 1883, Edgar Allen Poe wrote a book , The Arthur Gordon Pym of Naugatuck.....in the book, four men adrift in a boat, kill and eat the cabin boy, Richard Parker.......40 years later, four men adrift in a boat kill and eat the cabin boy, named Richard Parker, to survive...

--The sun is precisely 395 times larger than the moon, and is precisely 395 times farther away from the earth than the moon.

The two appear Precisely the same size when seen from earth because of the precise ratio of the distances

20 Year Intervals of Presidential Deaths

1840: William Henry Harrison (died in office)

1860: Abraham Lincoln (assassinated)

1880: James A. Garfield (assassinated)

1900: William McKinley (assassinated)

1920: Warren G. Harding (died in office)

1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (dies in office)

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Astrological Signs & Light Bulbs

BRIGHT SIGNS!

How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb?


ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it?

TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process.

LEO: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the
job for them while they're out.

VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- one millionth.

LIBRA: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?

SCORPIO: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the
Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

CAPRICORN: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so....

PISCES: Light bulb? What light bulb?


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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE & OUTRAGEOUS STADIUM FOODS! - BRUNCH BURGER - PITTSBURGH - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189674.html


THE MAGIC OF MILITARY CAMOUFLAGE - WATCH A WHOLE TROUPE OF SOLDIERS EMERGE FROM THE FOREST - AMAZING! ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/189914.html


TRACK AND FIELD FUN - GIRL COASTING TO THE FINISH IN 5000 METER RACE GETS PASTED AT THE TAPE - LOSES! - FUN ACTION GIF - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/189915.html


STRANGE CELEBRITIES - THE "OLE MAN" FROM PAWN STARS - PAPA WHO STARTED THE PAWN SHOP! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/189917.html


STRANGE LITTLE SPORTS CARS - 1969 ADAMS PROBE 16 - LOW SLEEK - SPORTY! - NOT EVEN WAIST HIGH! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/189918.html


GREAT PICTURE OF A HUGE SAILFISH WITH ANOTHER FISH STABBED BY HIS POINTED NOSE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/189919.html


STRANGE AUTOMOTIVE CRASH TESTS - WATCH YOUR "SMART" CAR GET SMASHED AND THE AIR BAGS DEPLOY - CLOWN CAR DANGERS - WILD ACTION GIF - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/189920.html


STRANGE BUSINESS EQUIPMENT - AMAZING ZIGZAG LONG AQUARIUM USED TO SEPARATE CUBICALS IN OFFICE! - JUST LIKE LIVE TV! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189921.html


AMAZING BODY TRANSFORMATION - FEMALE BODY BUILDER GOES FROM FRUMPY & DUMPY TO TANNED AND TONED - GREAT 3 PIX SET! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/189922.html


SPORTS DANGERS - AMAZING SHOT OF RUGBY PLAYER PUNCHING ANOTHER PLAYER IN THE HEAD DURING GAME - RUGBY IS TOUGH! - NASTY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/189923.html


MILITARY DANGERS - SCARY NIGHT SHOT OF NAVAL GUNS FIRING AT NIGHT! - AWESOME! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/189924.html


STRANGE McDONALD'S RESTAURANT BUILDINGS AROUND THE WORLD - ST LOUIS RIVERBOAT ON THE MISSISSIPPI! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/189925.html


STRANGE PRODUCTS - GREAT TRANSPARENT SNOW BLOWER COVER FOR OPERATOR - NO SNOW IN THE FACE! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/189926.html


STRANGE CUSTOM CARS - CHECK OUT THIS GOLD FOIL COVERED CAMERO CONVERTIBLE - EVER THE WHEELS! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/189927.html


STRANGE OLDE HISTORICAL PHOTOS - JOHN F KENNEDY PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN PHOTOGRAPHERS ONTO 1959 CHEVROLET CONVERTIBLE! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/189928.html


STRANGE FARM FIELD FUN - CORN MAZES ARE GREAT AUTUMN FUN! - DON'T GET LOST! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189929.html


FAMOUS LAST MEALS - HITLER HAD PASTA! - SPAGHETTI WITH RED SAUCE BEFORE HE WENT TO THE BUNKER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189930.html


DANGERS BUS CRASHES! - AMAZING CHINESE BUS DRIVER DUCKS JUST IN TIME TO AVOID HUGE PIPE THAT FLIES THRU WINDSHIELD JUST MISSING HIS HEAD! - DANGEROUS ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/189931.html


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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - STRANGE ANIMAL STUFF - HOUSES - LEASHES - BOWLS -

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/101307_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

How to Speak Nuw Zulander .......... - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/123073.html


You Might Be British IF.............. - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/121341.html


- How Many Frenchmen To Change a Lightbulb? - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/24126.html


Strange World War II Secret Weapon: the Prune - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/115435.html


The Strange History of the Car Radio - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/181143.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - STRANGE ANIMAL STUFF - HOUSES - LEASHES - BOWLS -

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/110_1.html

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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

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[b3ta] Hello spam folders everywhere

 

This Week:

* CAGE - Infinite Nic Cage

* GOOGLE+ - simulator

* THEFT - Your stories

-------------------------------------------------

________  ____ __  ___

____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |  "Trust     

___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |     No

__/____/____/|__/_/ |_|      One"

B3ta email 607  - 15 Nov 2013

Read this in a slightly different font: 

http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue607

   Ups :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

  Downs : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

  

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: SPONSORED LINK

  Kenyan Prime Minister latex head mask

  This solemn-looking mask doesn't bear a great

  resemblance to incumbent Kenyan Prime Minister

  Amolo Odinga, whereas it seems well-suited for

  some sort of racist hi-jinks. What. The. Fuck.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00F36VNI4/b3ta-21 

  >> Sponsor B3ta <<

  Want this space? Then talk to us.

http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  Cage, Porn, Xmas, Bears and Human Resources

  >> Infinite Instagram selfies with added Nicolas Cage <<

  Imagine a human face with Nicolas Cage stamped

  on it. Forever. "I made this over the weekend,"

  writes intyra. "It's a bit shit but fuck it, it

  adds character."

http://feelingcagey.com/

  >> Shepherds of Xhamster <<

  For the uninitiated, Xhamster is a porn site.

  Here are some lovely pictures of shepherds,

  superimposed with the eye-watering names of

  porn videos.

http://shepherdsofxhamster.blogspot.co.uk/

  >> Ant n Dec, Xmas is coming - NSFW <<

  "'Tis the season..." writes hobnobgoblin. Mucky

  but funny.  

http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ant_n_Dec_Xmas_is_coming_NSFW

  >> John Lewis Christmas advert 2013 - bit bleaker <<

  'Tis definitely the season for mocking the

  blockbuster Christmas commercials. Dark but,

  you know, topical stuff from HappyToast.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/1094294

  >> The Ladies Of H.R. <<

  "Hello chaps and chapesses," writes This

  Glorious Monster. "Here's our latest dark,

  little sketch."

http://www.b3ta.com/links/1097372/

-------------------------------------------------

: USVSTH3M

  Another site we do, that you might like

  * Realistic Google Plus Simulator - we've made a

  super-accurate Realistic Google Plus Simulator -

  have fun in the wilderness!

http://toys.usvsth3m.com/google-plus-simulator/

  * 11 terrifying kids from vintage adverts who

    will freeze the very marrow in your bones

http://usvsth3m.com/post/66372953934/

  * 18 things only Northerners living down south

  will understand.

http://usvsth3m.com/post/65623530326/

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK

   Theft

 

  Last week we asked if you'd ever stolen

  anything. The evidence for the prosecution is as

  follows:

http://b3ta.com/questions/theft/

 

  * CUSTOMS & EXCISE - Bored on an October

  weekend, I got a last minute return ticket for

  the Channel Tunnel and went for a drive around

  Normandy. I didn't do much - found a few pretty

  seaside towns and stopped for a meal, had a

  passing look at some war damage, picked up a

  few cheap packs of tobacco and headed back. 

  "My mistake was only being in France for about

  four hours. This made the (British) customs

  officers at Coquelles suspicious, and after

  questioning me they proceeded to strip and

  search my car. After two hours of them looking

  inside door panels, inside the air filter and

  pollen filter, they finally admitted I had done

  nothing wrong and could continue on my journey

  home. 

  "The roller-shutter on their inspection

  building slid up, I chucked my coat onto the

  passenger seat, jumped in, and rolled out

  toward the train home. As I drove out, I heard

  one of the customs guys ask: 'Where did you put

  the toolbox?' It was under my coat on the

  passenger seat. Still got it." (CarpeCyprinidae)

 

  * IKEA - I once ordered a lemonade at a cafe in

  an Ikea. They gave me the cup at the check-out,

  and I had to fill it up myself from the

  dispenser. I put some ice from the ice machine

  in the bottom, then filled my plastic cup with

  soft drink mix. Unfortunately, I had filled it

  too close to the brim for easy transportation,

  so I took a couple of sips to lower the level

  in the cup. 

  "At this point I could have just walked away.

  But I didn't walk away. A horrible plan formed

  in my mind, driven by an all-consuming greed.

  Trying to look casual while my heart was

  pounding, I returned to the drinks dispenser.

  As nonchalantly as I could, I TOPPED UP MY

  DRINK AGAIN WITH MORE LEMONADE THAN I HAD PAID

  FOR. Suddenly fearing the hand of a store

  detective on my shoulder, I walked a little too

  quickly to the exit, and my drink spilled a

  little, probably losing more than I had gained

  by illegal means.

  "Even when I got to my car I knew I wouldn't be

  in the clear until I was at least a few miles

  away. The drinks holder in my car was too small

  for the cup, so I drank the whole thing quickly

  and didn't really enjoy it. It's a crime I've

  had to live with for the rest of my days.

  (cumquat may) (And nobody spoil it by

  mentioning that Ikea now do free refills. Oh.)

  * POLICE - A guy I know was the manager of a

  petrol station. Early one Christmas morning, he

  was called out of bed by the police on the

  phone, telling him that someone had smashed the

  window of the station shop, and he needed to

  come down to tell them what had been stolen.

  

  "Staggering blearily back to work, he surveyed

  the shelves. 'Looks like three bottles of

  whiskey have been taken, and maybe four large

  boxes of cigarettes.' 

  "'OK,' said the police officer, reaching for a

  couple of the remaining whiskey bottles, 'So

  that was five bottles of whiskey, wasn't it

  sir, and I believe you said six boxes of

  cigarettes?'" (moon monkey)

 

  >> This week – ATTENTION WHORE <<

  Because it's all about me, me, me – tell us

  what ridiculous things have you or others done

  to grab the limelight.

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/attentionwhore/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF

  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> Make reaction GIFs with your face <<

  Create your own iconic reaction GIFs using your

  own face. Or someone else's - that's the

  flexibility of the internet age.

http://gifyourself.in/

 

  >> Real Life Instagram <<

  Stupid colours, weird cropping, Real Life

  Instagram is just perfect.

http://reallifeinstagram.com/

  >> The most self-centred Comment is Free post <<

  Richard Dawkins' weird honey terrorist rant is

  the most self-centred Comment is Free article

  in history, according to analysis of the number

  of times it mentions references "me", "myself"

  and "I".

http://commentismee.qwghlm.co.uk/115/

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO

  >> Old men dance to acid house <<

  So pleasingly effortless we could watch it

  forever.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/All_day_long

  >> The Correspondents: Fear and Delight <<

  "A couple of friends started a sort of band a

  half dozen or so years ago," writes unclepills.

  "This is their first proper video." Love the

  music and the homage to the early days of

  animation.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/1095126/

  >> That Jean Claude Van Damme ad <<

  The Muscles From Brussels does the splits in

  mid-air, between two articulated lorries,

  reversing, while listening to Enya.

  Heart-achingly beautiful.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/1096617/

  >> Nicely detailed 'inside the birdhouse' ad <<

  We don't remember it from the time, but this

  birdhouse is packed with lovely, whimsical

  touches.

http://www.b3ta.com/links/1094706/

 

  >> Brule's Rules on storing eggs <<

  Absolute gold!

http://www.b3ta.com/links/1095776/

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE

  Results from the Mobile Phone Challenge

  Last week we wanted you to plant mobile phones

  at moments of great historical importance.

  Your favourites included:

 

  * FUHRER: Apple's auto-correct changes dictator

  legacy for worse (barryheadwound)

http://www.b3ta.com/board/11027340

 

  * FORTUNATE: medieval selfie offers protection

  to battling King (1.618...)

http://www.b3ta.com/board/11026947

  

  * FASCINATING: Dutch master of impossible

  constructions, in reverse (Dr.Dunno)

http://www.b3ta.com/board/11027043

  All these images, and the highest as voted by

  you can be found here:

http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/mobile-history/

  >> New challenge: Pet Instructions <<

  This week's challenge is to loot the internet

  for source images and compile instruction

  manuals for pet owners, enabling them to get the

  best use out of their animals. Challenge

  suggested by strongp.

http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/pet-instructions/

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If

  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * A GOOD REASON TO USE GOOGLE+. No, seriously,

  are we missing something here? because nobody

  else seems to be using it either.

  

  * A NEW TYPE OF SANDWICH - for surely we have

  exhausted the ingenuity of Canary Wharf's

  greatest sandwich-wrights.

  

  * OUR HOMES AND LOVED ONES, because this is

  looking like a late one.

  Send contributions via the mail form.

http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't

  been featured then don't be put off - we look

  at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

    Smores:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

    Snores:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS:

  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with

  David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by skeltonator,

  skaduskitai, Double2, lustreboy, loego.  

  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.

  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.

  

-------------------------------------------------

  TOP TIP:

  Lose weight by living on the moon.

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VOL 1269 - NOV. 13, 2013 - SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO FARM HARVEST TIME FUN!

E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

--------------------------------------


STRANGE NOVEMBER FUN

A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO AUTUMN HARVEST TIME AND THE HARD WORKING FARMERS THAT
PROVIDE THE FOOD ON OUR TABLES AND THE GREAT FRUITS AND VEGETABLES WE EAT!

------------------------



SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
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http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/



NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK:

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/news_7468.html
STRANGE FARM FIELDS - CROPS - AROUND THE WORLD

http://ww"w.strangefarmer.com/content/item/news_10511.html
AMAZING AERIAL FARM FIELD VIEWS - CORN MAZES - PORTRAITS - COOL STUFF!

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/news_10853.html
STRANGE STATE AND COUNTY FAIRS - FARM FUN - COTTON CANDY - ANIMALS - RODEOS - DEEP FRIED CRAZY STUFF!

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/news_8471.html
FARM FUN, FROLIC AND "THE FANCY LIFE!

==================================

Strange Farm Quotes:

I ask myself: Would I have been any worse off if I had stayed home or lived on a farm instead of shock treatments and medication? - Gene Tierney

I came from a dirt farm, now I'm filthy rich. - Larry Holmes

I was working on the farm to get in shape, about a mile away from my parents. You know, I did everything as a kid to stay in shape - jogging, work on the farm, driving the tractor. I'll never forget. - Guy Lafleur (Canadian Hockey Star)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Sage Advice From the Old Farmer

An Old Farmer's Advice:

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen, anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'."

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

*If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Submitted by John P.


==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE & OUTRAGEOUS STADIUM FOODS! - THE BROOMSTICK DOG - TEXAS RANGERS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189673.html


EVER SEEN A FARMERS COW AT THE BARNYARD SPA? - CHECK OUT THIS COW GETTING AN AUTOMATED RUB DOWN - FUN ACTION GIF - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/189896.html


ANIMAL FUN ON THE FARM - TALENTED COW USES HIS HORN TO GRAB THE WATER PUMP HANDLE AND PUMP SOME WATER - FUN ANIMAL GIF! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/189897.html


STRANGE FARM COWGIRL! - REALLY - SHE RIDES THE COW - JUMPS FENCES - HER BEST PAL! - 5 PIXS COLLAGE! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189898.html


STRANGE FARMERS COUNTY FAIR BOOTH - DEEP FRIED BUTTER! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/189899.html


STRANGE FARM FIELD MARRIAGE PROPOSAL - JOANNA - WILL YOU MARRY ME? FARMER JOHN! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189900.html


GREAT AERIAL PHOTO OF FARM COMMUNITY - HOUSES GATHERED IN A CIRCLE SURROUNDED BY MANY DIFFERENT FARM FIELDS! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/189901.html


STRANGE FARMERS COUNTY FAIR BOOTH - DEEP FRIED SNICKERS - WRAPPED IN BACON!! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189902.html


STRANGE CROP CIRCLES GETTING EVEN STRANGER - HELLO KITTY ALIEN PALS? - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189903.html


STRANGE AUTUMN FARM FUN - HUGE PUMPKIN BOUNCEE HOUSE! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189904.html


STRANGE FARMERS WIFE PRODUCTS - A "CHICKEN" PURSE! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/189905.html


STRANGE FARM DANGERS IN THE FALL - TOTALLY LOADED FARM TRUCK COVERED WITH HAY - CAN'T EVEN SEE OUT THE WINDOW! - FUN ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/189906.html


STRANGE FARM COUPLE - BOTH IN CAMOUFLAGED DRESS AND MEN'S SUIT! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189907.html


STRANGE FARM FUN - COMPLICATED CORN MAZE FOR BLONDES! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189908.html


STRANGE CORN MAZE TRIBUTE TO CLINT EASTWOOD - AMAZING AERIAL SHOT! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/189910.html


STRANGE OLDE FARM HARVESTING EQUIPMENT - WHEAT COMBINE PULLED BY TRACTOR - NOTE NO TIRES JUST METAL SPIKES - FARM TRUCK FULL OF WHEAT! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/189911.html


STRANGE FARM FUN - CRAZY FARMER DISROBES AND CLIMBS IN HAY BALER - COMES OUT COVERED IN TOTAL HAY BALE! - CRAZY ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189912.html


STRANGE DANGEROUS FARM FUN CRAZY FARM BOY BLOWUP PUMPKIN IN THE FIELD - BEFORE THEY ARE READY! - DANGEROUS FARM FUN GIF - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/189913.html


==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SF - A - FARMERS - FARM WIVES - HIRED HANDS

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/100744_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Farm Boy - My First Time - A Poem - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/21448.html


- Letter From Farm Kid in The Marines - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/25097.html


The Traffic Cop, The Farmer and Circle Flies - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/110690.html


Farmers in China Hire Strippers to Attract Crowds at Funerals - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/119650.html


Farmer's Logic - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/20381.html


Smart Farmer - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/20434.html


The Farmer & the Donkey - a Modern Day Parable - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/23114.html


The Egg Farmer and the Prize Winning Rooster - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/120914.html


The Blonde and the Peach Farmer - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/20758.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SF - A - FARMERS - FARM WIVES - HIRED HANDS

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/125_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

GOLF - COURSES - TOURNEYS - PROFESSIONALS - http://www.strangeGolf.com/

YOUR FAVORITE ACTION GIF'S AND OPTICAL ILLUSIONS- http://www.strangeFunVideos.com/

LEISURE DESTINATIONS AND TRAVEL http://www.strangeVacations.com/

RACE CARS AND OTHER VEHICLES - DRAGSTER - BIKES http://www.strangeRacer.com/

BLONDE CELEBS AND ROCK STARS - Tanks http://www.strangeBlondes.com/

COLLEGE STUFF - DORMS - FRATS - BAR LIFE http://www.strangeCollege.com/


==========================

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VOL 1268 - NOV. 10, 2013 - Veteran's Day Special

VETERAN'S DAY 11-11-13

E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com

--------------------------------------


Veteran's Day Special! We have included a number of the Best Military Photos from WWII - Korean War - Vietnam War, along with a number of New Items.

THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE!

------------------------



SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmoscom/278654660263

http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/



------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:


http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_8767.html
STRANGE MILITARY PAINT JOBS - MILITARY JETS & HELICOPTERS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_7588.html
AMAZING MILITARY CAMOUFLAGE!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10533.html
NEW - STRANGE US DOLLAR BILLS FROM THE PAST - OTHER DENOMINATIONS

http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/news_6636.html
STRANGE UFO'S - ALIEN SPACE CRAFT - SECRET MILITARY EQUIPMENT

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - EULOGY FOR A VETERAN

Eulogy for a Veteran


Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.


I am the Gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the mornings hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of
quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

Veterans Day Toasts:

"To her we drink, for her we pray, our voices
silent never.
For her we'll fight -- let come what may, The Stars
and Stripes forever."

"Here's to the Army and Navy, and the battles they have won. Here's to America's colors-- The colors that never run!"

"May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and every human being partake of its fruits."

"May noise never excite us to battle, or confusions reduce us to defeat."

==================================


Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

STRANGE & OUTRAGEOUS STADIUM FOODS! - THE MURPH-A-DILLA - TEXAS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189672.html


BAD KARMA FUN - MAN SNEAKS A BUTT PINCH AT THE MARKET AND IN RETURN GETS HIS BUTT KICKED - HE'S DOWN! - FUNNY ACTION GIF - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/188697.html


WWII - BARRAGE BALLOONS OVER LST'S ON NORMANDY BEACH - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/158461.html


WWII - NORMANDY BEACH - JUNE 1944 D-DAY INVASION - SUPPLIES COMING ASHORE - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/162649.html


BOEING CH-47 CHINOOK HELICOPTER - VIETNAM FIELD LANDING - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/172374.html


F-11F SUPER TIGERS - TIGER TEETH PAINT - VIETNAM ERA JETS - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/163072.html


LAST HELICOPTER OUT OF SAIGON - VIETNAM - FAMOUS PHOTO - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/134000.html


STRANGE OLDE HISTORICAL EVENTS - STRANGE AIRPLANE PICTURE OF SPECIAL "BABY" FLIGHT - EVERY SEAT TAKEN BY SPECIAL SEAT BELTED IN BABY CARRIER - "OPERATION BABYLIFT" APRIL 26, 1975 FROM SOUTH VIETNAM - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189246.html


VIETNAM WAR PHOTOS - USO SHOW - RAQUEL WELCH ENTERTAINS THE TROOPS - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/138700.html


STRANGE 1951 CHINESE KOREAN WAR POSTER - DEPICTS US SOLDIER MURDERING CIVILIANS AND DROPPING BOMBS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/183348.html


COMMUNIST GDR BEGINS CONSTRUCTION OF THE BERLIN WALL - AUGUST 1961 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/150089.html


STRANGE PET TOYS AND ACCESSORIES - PET SNACK LAUNCHER - SHOOTS SNACKS INTO THE AIR - LET FIDO LEAP FOR IT! - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/189893.html


AFRICAN ANIMAL DANGERS - RHINO CHARGING DIRECTLY AT YOU! YOU BETTER RUN! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/189894.html


CLASSIC OLDE MILITARY PICTURES - WWII - HELLDIVERS OVER THE AIR CRAFT CARRIES HORNET - 1945 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/189895.html


SOLDIERS DUCK BECAUSE OF NEARBY EXPLOSION - SHRAPNEL HITS BUILDING NEXT TO THEIR HELMETED HEADS! - CLOSE CALL ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/187891.html


STRANGE 1986 NYC MANHATTEN FLYBY OF GERMAN F-104S - NOTE WORLD TRADE CENTER TWIN TOWERS IN THE BACKGROUND! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/188634.html


USAF - A-1O - F-86 - P-38 - P-51 - GREAT COLLECTION OF MILITARY FIGHTERS - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/178929.html


WORLD WAR II - AMAZING AERIAL PICTURE OF NORMANDY INVASION SUPPLY SHIPS CIRCLING, LOADING AND UNLOADING - GREAT SHOT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/188679.html


==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SOP - B - WORLD WAR TWO - WWII - TROOPS - BATTLES - EQUIPMENT - ALLIES - UNITED STATES - ENGLAND - RUSSIA

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/category/100896_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

A to Z a Firearms Refresher Course - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/103596.html


- Definition of an American - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/24204.html


-The Infantryman - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/24171.html


Military Service - Today Vs. 1945 - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/22828.html


- I AM YOUR FLAG ! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/23244.html


A Great Veterans Poem - Remember to Thank Them! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/22751.html


==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SOP - B - WORLD WAR TWO - WWII - TROOPS - BATTLES - EQUIPMENT - ALLIES - UNITED STATES - ENGLAND - RUSSIA

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/category/107_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

GOLF - COURSES - TOURNEYS - PROFESSIONALS - http://www.strangeGolf.com/

YOUR FAVORITE ACTION GIF'S AND OPTICAL ILLUSIONS- http://www.strangeFunVideos.com/

LEISURE DESTINATIONS AND TRAVEL http://www.strangeVacations.com/

RACE CARS AND OTHER VEHICLES - DRAGSTER - BIKES http://www.strangeRacer.com/

BLONDE CELEBS AND ROCK STARS - Tanks http://www.strangeBlondes.com/

COLLEGE STUFF - DORMS - FRATS - BAR LIFE http://www.strangeCollege.com/


==========================

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