Phun Stuff and Everything You Dislike

Montag, 11. Februar 2013

VOL 1189 - Feb 10, 2013 - 25 Strange Uses For Coffee Filters

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

FEBRUARY FUN
Time For Some Strange Fun !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_11070.html
NEW - STRANGE MEN'S & WOMEN'S HAIRSTYLES - NAILS AND BODY DECORATIONS - ANGRY BIRDS - STEVE JOBS TRIBUTE - WILD & CRAZY

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_9713.html
STRANGE CAVES & GROTTOES AROUND THE WORLD - NEW!

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_8763.html
STRANGE ANIMALS IN OLDE TRAVELING CIRCUS & VAUDEVILLE SHOWS - ELEPHANTS, LIONS AND HORSES!

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_8115.html
NEW - SURFING DANGERS! - HUGE WAVES - BIG THRILLS - BIG WIPEOUTS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10201.html
STRANGE COINS FROM AROUND THE WORLD - WILD DESIGNS - SMELLS AND SHAPES!

==================================

Strange Celeb Quotes About Cosmetic Surgery:

Cosmetic surgery is terrifying. It never looks good. Those women look weird. They look in the mirror and think they look great, but they don't see what we see. I think it's hideous. They scare small children. - Model Jerry Hall

I'd like to grow old with my face moving. - Kate Winslet
Actress on why she would not consider cosmetic surgery.

Actresses have to be able to frown. - Catherine Deneuve
Screen legend on why she is against cosmetic surgery.

It wasn't a fortune. It cost me the price of one-and-a-half Hermes handbags.
Anne Robinson - British TV personality on her cosmetic surgery.

Plastic surgery and breast implants are fine for people who want that, if it makes them feel better about who they are. But, it makes these people, actors especially, fantasy figures for a fantasy world. Acting is about being real being honest.
Kate Winslet

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Joan Rivers

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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F-16 AND F-15 MILITARY JETS FLYING OVER BURNING KUWAIT OIL FIELDS - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/136630.html

STRANGE MILITARY AIRCRAFT - AC-130 GUNSHIP "SPOOKY" - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/186852.html

2014 CORVETTE STING RAY - WINNER DETROIT AUTO SHOW JAN 2013 - SIDE VIEW - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/186743.html

STRANGE "SNOW QUILTS" DESIGNED BY SIMON BECK NEAR LES ARCS SKI RESORT IN FRANCE - 1 - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/186762.html

STRANGE PHYSICAL DEFORMITIES OF THE STARS - SUPER MODELS KAROLINA KORKOVA HAS NO BELLY BUTTON! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186905.html

STRANGE NEW SNOWMOBILE DESIGN - COVERED CAB WITH HUGH REAR TRACK - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/186914.html

OBAMA AND BOEHNER CHECK OUT BEYONCE BOOTY AT THE INAUGURAL - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186919.html

AMERICAN IDOL JUDGES - SOME HAVE YEARS OF SUCCESS AND TALENT - AND ONE HAS NONE - WHY IS NIKKI MINAJ A JUDGE? - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/186925.html

STRANGE OLDE TOY REPLICA MODELS CARS - 1965 FULL COLOR BROCHURES AND LITERATURE - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/186593.html

AMAZING CHEERLEADER FLIP UP TO A ONE HAND HANDSTAND - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/178945.html

MILITARY DANGERS - RPG MISFIRES - RUN! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/178257.html

EXTREME SPORTS - MOUNTAIN BIKING DANGERS - MT TOP WALKING - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/176320.html

BIG TRUCK CUTS OFF SMALL TRUCK - CRASH KNOCKS DRIVER OUT THE WINDOW! - ACTION GIF - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/176861.html

STRANGE LITTLE 3 WHEEL CAR - BUBBLE TOP WITH ROLL BAR - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/176858.html

SOCCER FUN - BALL OFF THE WALL NAILS LITTLE KID - KO'D! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/178256.html

STRANGE TOYS & GAMES - CHESS SETS - CARVED WOODEN PIRATE SHIP VERSION - CANNONS - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/177028.html

OLDE STARS - RAQUEL WELCH - STRANGE SOCCER OUTFIT WITH SIXGUN! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/178728.html

STRANGE SPORTS FISHING - GOLIATH GROUPER CAUGHT BY HOT FISHERLADY - THAT'S HUGE! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/178948.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SZ - PET CEMETERIES - PET TOMBSTONES - ANIMAL GRAVES

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/101121_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Kool-Aid Facts - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/182443.html

Strange Questions and Answers - Student Who Obtained a 0% on an Exam - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/180766.html

Strange Facts About Europe - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/181101.html

Strange "Californian to Texan" Translation Guide - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/180363.html

World's Easiest IQ Test (Quiz) - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/178813.html

Strange Medical Labels and Warnings - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/179583.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - PET CEMETERIES - PET TOMBSTONES - ANIMAL GRAVES

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/110_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

GOLF - COURSES - TOURNEYS - PROFESSIONALS - http://www.strangeGolf.com/

YOUR FAVORITE ACTION GIF'S AND OPTICAL ILLUSIONS- http://www.strangeFunVideos.com/

LEISURE DESTINATIONS AND TRAVEL http://www.strangeVacations.com/

RACE CARS AND OTHER VEHICLES - DRAGSTER - BIKES http://www.strangeRacer.com/

BLONDE CELEBS AND ROCK STARS - Tanks http://www.strangeblondes.com/

COLLEGE STUFF - DORMS - FRATS - BAR LIFE http://www.strangecollege.com/

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Sonntag, 10. Februar 2013

Fwd: Latest From BuzzFeed

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: BuzzFeed <noreply@buzzfeed.com>
Date: Sun, Feb 10, 2013 at 3:52 PM
Subject: Latest From BuzzFeed
To: dvd.moviefan@gmail.com

Today's Hottest Buzz

There Really Is A Dating Site For Everyone

They say there's someone out there for everyone. That may or may not be true, but this Valentine's Day, there's definitely a dating site or two for you.

15 Questions Atheists Are Sick Of Answering

No, they don't worship Satan or eat babies. And you probably know one.

13 Photos Of Adoptive Parents Meeting Their Child For The First Time

These photos will melt your heart and bring it back to life as a stronger heart. They'll also make you say, "Awww!"

10 Weird Things You Probably Don't Know About "The Craft"

Apparently, "professional Wicca consultant" is a job and other unexpected facts about the production of this '90s movie.

24 Ridiculous Ways Fashion Week People Dealt With The Blizzard

Despite the abysmal weather, nothing at fashion week has been canceled — leaving everyone at the shows in a state of denial about the impending doom. (At least, judging by their shoes.)

Justin Bieber Falls Victim To Autocorrect

Either that, or Canada should start hosting TV appreciation classes.

14 Eerie And Gorgeous Instagrams Of Boston's Road Closure

In light of the massive snowfall Massachusetts is expecting tonight, Boston has ordered a subway shutdown and road closure, leaving the city empty.

It Doesn't Get More Romantic Than This

Even if you correctly despise Valentine's Day, this is a story for all eternity.

You Should Have A Bagel Today

Need more convincing?

Kate Upton Is The 2013 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Girl

The people's champ! Congrats, Kate Upton, on your second straight SI Swimsuit Edition cover.

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Mittwoch, 6. Februar 2013

VOL 1188 Feb 06, 2013 - Strange Truisms

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

FEBRUARY FUN
Time For Some Strange Fun !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_11070.html
NEW - STRANGE MEN'S & WOMEN'S HAIRSTYLES - NAILS AND BODY DECORATIONS - ANGRY BIRDS - STEVE JOBS TRIBUTE - WILD & CRAZY

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_9713.html
STRANGE CAVES & GROTTOES AROUND THE WORLD - NEW!

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_8763.html
STRANGE ANIMALS IN OLDE TRAVELING CIRCUS & VAUDEVILLE SHOWS - ELEPHANTS, LIONS AND HORSES!

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_8115.html
NEW - SURFING DANGERS! - HUGE WAVES - BIG THRILLS - BIG WIPEOUTS

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10201.html
STRANGE COINS FROM AROUND THE WORLD - WILD DESIGNS - SMELLS AND SHAPES!

==================================

Strange Quotes and Insults!

A guy with your IQ should have a low voice too!

I've only got one nerve left, and you're getting on it.

I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!

Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

Are you brain-dead?

Are your parents siblings?

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Truisms

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP:
Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

KLEENEX:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

TRUISMS #2

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines. Ha!

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

KIM KARDASHIAN'S MANSION - POOL VIEW TO THE HOUSE - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/186821.html

OLDE TV STARZ CARZ - THE MONKEES AND THE MUNSTERS STRANGE VEHICLES! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/8198.html

STRANGE VIEW OF RUSSIAN BEAR BOMBER DURING AERIAL REFUEL - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/186851.html

STRANGE LITTLE CARS - 1953 ALLARD CLIPPER - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/186736.html

STRANGE ELVIRA ACTION GIF - SHE BREAKS THROUGH CHAINED METAL GATE! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/186904.html

COCO AUSTIN IN HER TEEN YEARS - MUST HAVE BEEN AN AMAZING LATE GROWTH SPURT! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186906.html

STRANGE WINTER SNOW CRAFT - PROPELLER DRIVEN SKIS - LOOK LIKE FUN! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/186913.html

AMAZING DAYTIME SWARM OF BATS BATS BATS! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/186915.html

TOM CRUISE AND KELLY MCGILLIS - 20 YEARS DIFFERENT - HOW SAD! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186917.html

STRANGE ARTISTIC TALENTS - USING VARIOUS NAILS DRIVEN IN TO WOOD CREATING DEPTH AND UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/186918.html

STRANGE RUSSIAN GIRL HAS EXACT SAME FACE AS BARBIE DOLL - SAME BODY AS WELL! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186924.html

GREAT BOAT AND AUTO COMBO - 1959 CHEVY BIG FIN BOAT WITH 1959 CHEVY EL CAMINO PULLING IT - BEAUTIFUL PAIR - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/186926.html

STRANGE GERMAN STEALTH SUBMARINE U212A ENTERS PORT PAST OLD FORT - PROPELLED BY HYDROGEN FUEL CELL - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/186928.html

STRANGE OLDE TOY REPLICA MODELS CARS - 1960 STUDEBAKER LARKETTE - ALONG SIDE FULL SIZE VERSION - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/186583.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SV - DAY TRIPS - STRANGE DESTINATIONS - BRIDGES - MOTELS - TOURIST SPOTS - GAS STATIONS - JUNK YARDS - DEALERSHIPS - PARKING LOTS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/100726_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Why Black Cats Are Considered Bad Luck - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/173557.html

Strange Answers on High School Tests - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/168998.html

6 Strange But Fun Drinking Games - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/167364.html

World's 10 Strangest Political Myths - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/161110.html

Creative Puns For Educated Minds - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/159220.html

Strange Facts About 1909 vs Today! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/158366.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SV - DAY TRIPS - STRANGE DESTINATIONS - BRIDGES - MOTELS - TOURIST SPOTS - GAS STATIONS - JUNK YARDS - DEALERSHIPS - PARKING LOTS

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/107_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

GOLF - COURSES - TOURNEYS - PROFESSIONALS - http://www.strangeGolf.com/

YOUR FAVORITE ACTION GIF'S AND OPTICAL ILLUSIONS- http://www.strangeFunVideos.com/

LEISURE DESTINATIONS AND TRAVEL http://www.strangeVacations.com/

RACE CARS AND OTHER VEHICLES - DRAGSTER - BIKES http://www.strangeRacer.com/

BLONDE CELEBS AND ROCK STARS - Tanks http://www.strangeBlondes.com/

COLLEGE STUFF - DORMS - FRATS - BAR LIFE http://www.strangeCollege.com/

==========================

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Sonntag, 3. Februar 2013

VOL 1187 - Feb 03, 2013 - STRANGE SUPER BOWL SPORTS STUFF!

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

FEBRUARY FUN
Time For Some SUPER BOWL Fun !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_11104.html
SUPER BOWL FOOD! - PIZZA - SNACKS - BEER - TAILGATING - CHEESEBURGERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_10898.html
SPORTS FUN AND FROLIC - COLLEGE & NFL TAILGATING FOOTBALL GAMES

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/news_10975.html
STRANGE SPORTS CELEBRITIES CRIBS AND COMPOUNDS - SOCCER STARS - NFL FOOTBALL - MLB BASEBALL - MBA BASKETBALL STARS!

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_9515.html
NEW - HOT ESPN SPORTS ANCHORS & REPORTERS - ERIN ANDREWS!

http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/news_11105.html
STRANGE OLDE SUPER BOWL HALF TIME SHOWS AND CELEBRITIES - VARIOUS OTHER OLDE SPORTS TEAMS

==================================

Strange Sports Quotes: WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS:

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Which City Has Hosted the Super Bowl the Most Times?

Which City Has Hosted the Super Bowl the Most Times?

Miami, Florda has hosted the most at ten times.

Five times at the Miami Orange Bowl, and 5 times at the Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Dolphin/Sun Life Stadium.

The decision by NFL owners to award the 2014 Super Bowl to the joint bid submitted by the New York Giants and New York Jets was a significant milestone for America's unofficial national holiday, Super Bowl Sunday.

For the first time, the Super Bowl will be played in the largest metropolitan area in the country which also happens to be the No. 1 media market in the U.S.

Super Bowl XLVIII will take place at the New Meadowlands Stadium in New Jersey, which is owned by the Giants and Jets and is a short subway ride from Manhattan. New York (or New Jersey, if you will) will finally get a chance to host the big game, an event that some economists believe will provide a $550 million boost to the local economy, New York Jets chairman and CEO Woody Johnson told news sources.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

KIM KARDASHIAN'S MANSION - AERIAL VIEW - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186826.html

SCARLETT JOHANSSON - BREATH TAKING YELLOW DRESS! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186916.html

DOG RUNS UP BEHIND HORSE - GETS KICKED IN THE HEAD - KO'D! ACTION GIF - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/10825.html

STRANGE OLDE TOY REPLICA MODELS CARS - 1960 PLYMOUTH FURY - SIDE VIEW - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/186582.html

STRANGE FUN FOODS - HUGE SUPER BOWL STADIUM SNACK AND SANDWICH DISPLAY - MEATS & CHEESES AND EVERYTHING ELSE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/177090.html

F-16 - COOL TAKE OFF AS PILOT PREPARES TO GO VERTICAL - AFTERBURNER ON FULL! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/186849.html

NEW WORLD SURFING RECORD! - GARRETT MCNAMARA FRO HAWAII SURF 100 FOOT WAVE IN PORTUGAL ! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/186879.html

MOTORCYCLE RIDING DANGERS - DRIVER JUMPS OFF WHEN HUGE TRUCK TIPS OVER AND ALMOST FLATTENS HIM AND HIS SCOOTER - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/186882.html

STRANGE NIGHT MANEUVERS - AMAZING SHOT OF LARGE FIELD ARTILLERY FIRING DURING NIGHT EXERCISES! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/186897.html

STRANGE NEW ENERGY DANGERS - FARMERS BARN GETS SPEARED BY HUGE WIND TURBINE BLADE AS IT TOPPLES OVER! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/186899.html

AMAZING PPS PRESENTATION COMMERCIAL AND MILITARY AIRCRAFT IN ACTION - BEAUTIFUL! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/186900.html

TODAYS 3 STOOGES - STRANGE ACTION GIF OF JOHN STEWART - STEPHEN COLBERT AND CONAN O'BRIAN BOPPING EACH OTHER - STRANGE ACTION GIF - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/186903.html

STRANGE WWII MILITARY EQUIPMENT - MCDONNELL XP-67 MOONBAT - 1944 - ONLY ONE PLANE EVERY MADE! - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/186907.html

1936 AUBURN ROADSTER - EXCEPTION CONVERTIBLE - AMAZING STYLING! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/186908.html

STRANGE CHILDRENS PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT - HUGE 4 STORY TROJAN HORSE! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/186909.html

STRANGE DRIVING DANGERS - AUSTRALIA - MYSTERIOUS SEA FOAM COVERS LOW ROAD - CAR AND BUS EMERGE AND ALMOST HITS POLICEMAN! - STRANGE ACTION GIF - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/186911.html

STRANGE OLDE TOYS - FUNNY WALKING DOLL WITH MANY LEGS ON A WHEEL - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/186912.html

HISTORIC DRIVING CHAOS! - SWEDEN CHANGED DRIVING LAW FROM LEFT TO DRIVING ON THE RIGHT - SEPT 3, 1967 - STOCKHOLM MAIN ST. CHAOS PICTURE! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186735.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/100020_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Which City Has Hosted the Super Bowl the Most Times? - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/178454.html

Using Football Terminology in Religion - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/168933.html

'G' On Packers' Helmet Doesn't Stand for 'Green Bay' ... What? - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/179999.html

Who's the Greatest NFL Quarterback Ever? - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/177525.html

Big Time Football in the South - How Many SEC Students to Change a Lightbulb....... - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/156610.html

Classic College Football Head Coach "Quotes" - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/129668.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - SS - FOOTBALL - NFL - COLLEGE - STAR PLAYERS

http://www.strangesports.com/content/category/109_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

GOLF - COURSES - TOURNEYS - PROFESSIONALS - http://www.strangeGolf.com/

YOUR FAVORITE ACTION GIF'S AND OPTICAL ILLUSIONS- http://www.strangeFunVideos.com/

LEISURE DESTINATIONS AND TRAVEL http://www.strangeVacations.com/

RACE CARS AND OTHER VEHICLES - DRAGSTER - BIKES http://www.strangeRacer.com/

BLONDE CELEBS AND ROCK STARS - Tanks http://www.strangeBlondes.com/

COLLEGE STUFF - DORMS - FRATS - BAR LIFE http://www.strangeCollege.com/

==========================

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Freitag, 1. Februar 2013

[b3ta] "WELLARD, YOU STEER AND I'LL PRESS THE PEDALS"

This Week:
* LANCE ARMSTRONG - is a creep
* JIMMY SAVILE - dances for your pleasure
* BILL GATES - can jump over a chair

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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We are lucky cows, we
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | surf the web & browse"
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|

B3ta email 566 - 1 Feb 2013

Read this issue without moving your lips:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue566

Chums : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Scum : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Ok, it's Amazon Tat. Whatever.

>> Semen cooking <<
Available for sale on Lulu for a while but the
joy of this text reaching Amazon is of course
the reviews.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1481227041/b3ta-21

>> Drone toy <<
Military drone as child's toy. Some great
reviews, if you think flying death-bots as kids'
toys are funny.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B004JFMOGK/b3ta-20

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

>> Official Cockerney™ Rhyming Slang Translator <<
"If you've ever been tempted by the venerable
tradition of talking like a 19th-century
costermonger, but don't have the right
vocabulary, then this site is for you," brags
Amish Information Systems. An invaluable guide
to blending in down Laaaahndon way.
http://moteprime.org/cockerney/

>> The Dragon Maker <<
"Did you know that if you take Duncan
Bannatyne's eyes & nose, mix them with Deborah
Meaden's mouth and Peter Jones' head, it looks
a little like Frank Skinner?" inquires
Q4nobody.co.uk. Create the venture capitalist
chimera of your choice with this surprisingly
pleasing feature-swap.
http://www.earlyshakespeare.com/dragonmaker.html

>> Simon Cowell stitches up Superpowerless <<
B3tan @superpowerless was recently approached to
be on Britain's Got Talent. Here is his formal
complaint.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B8j_gKP-VM&feature=youtu.be&a

>> Low-rez Twitter toy <<
Make some pixelly art for the tweeting. "Fans of
ludicrously low-res graphics might want to have
a play," write screator Matt Round. "@15by7 will
retweet the best efforts."
http://15by7.com

>> "How I seduced my wife" by Joel Veitch <<
"Hey blud i dun a new thing, with Butters,"
types the internet's Joel Veitch. This is almost
certainly how it went down.
http://b3ta.com/links/I_Love_You_So_Hard_Part_2

>> Jimmy Savile Remix <<
"I've waited my 30 days probation," explains
smearballs. "And finally I'm allowed to release
this." Grotesque performing paedophile, somehow
made even more disturbing with the patented
smearballs treatment.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Jimmy_Savile_Remix

>> Joe Pesci Grammar Correction <<
"Self explanatory," explains somegreybloke.
Funny, like a clown.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Joe_Pesci_Grammar_Correction

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Inflated Self Importance

We wanted your stories of stuck-up self
important arses you've had to deal with. Of
course, we were far too busy to read them
ourselves:
http://b3ta.com/questions/selfimportant/

* THE WATCH - "My dad is the mad old bloke who
runs the Neighbourhood Watch like it's a military
operation. His team invited the local policeman
to do a talk, who asked what they would like from
their local police force. "Fight crime!" they
said, but the policeman replied despondently
that there had been no real crime in that part
of Surrey for years. Racking her brain, one lady
complained that the local sixth formers drove
ever so carelessly and fast, and suggested a
speed trap. This he did, unannounced, the
following week. He caught one sixth former...
and the lady who had made the complaint."
(browser)

* CHIPS - "I wouldn't call the lady that runs
the cafe in the Ethiopian Airport at Dire Dawa
an official. But she has a uniform. "Can I have
some chips?" "Can't have chips, not on the menu"
"Whats that?" I point to a lady eating chips
"Egg sandwich" "I'll have an Egg Sandwich
please" "It is not on the menu... but I can make
it" "Yes please, two Egg Sandwiches, they come
with chips?" "Yes" "Thank you" (To be honest
this is nothing. In Ethiopia it is still 2005,
they have 13 months a year and time starts at
6am.)" (doktored)

* NOT FUNNY - "Browsing my local freecycle, I
read that one woman had, "just got a new dog -
he's quite small and cold. Does anyone have any
dog jackets?" Chuckling to myself, I made my own
ad: "Just got a Korean cookbook - does anyone
have any small dogs, preferably cold." And the
shit hit the fan. Self-righteous board moderator
banned me and another freecycler for daring to
laugh at my ad." (snee)

>> This Week - MORE PET STORIES <<
Scaryduck's dog died last week, and he's sick of
people sending him that stupid Rainbow Bridge
poem. Tell us about excellent (or rubbish) pets:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/morepetstories/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Glowing testimonial... <<
Insurance claimant gives a much too specific
testimonial statement. Check it out and get a
web designer fired today!
http://www.accidentclaims.org/

>> Why Unicorn Drinks <<
Rather dark spoof kids' book about the sadnesses
of Mister Unicorn's life.
http://bit.ly/RKKlme

>> Kate Bush Spectrum Art <<
If we could be arsed, we'd do similar for the
track Spectrum by Florence and the Machine Code.
http://i.am.cool.oleg.lt/kt/

>> Annoying things clients say to designers <<
Although it's missing our favourite, "you're
fired and we're not paying you."
http://sharpsuits.net/Home

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like TV but on the web! Woo hoo!

>> Lance Armstrong is a creep <<
When you give a two-hour interview with Oprah,
you have to expect that people will match your
words to a Radiohead song. Shame Lance wasn't
sampled earlier in his career - we might have
known about the blood doping earlier.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Hes_a_Creep

>> Bill Gates jumping over a chair <<
Damn, look at him soaring like an eagle. Steve
Jobs couldn't match these moves even when he
was alive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TCxE0bWQeQ

>> Mooncup vs Tampon rap battle <<
This is almost certainly a faithful depiction of
what goes on behind the closed doors of the
ladies' toilets. For our money, Tampon Crew have
the best insults. But it's not our money.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zj4NhC8ahM

>> Lion King 3D <<
Classic Disney vastly improved with the CGI
treatment. One of the most amazing things you'll
see this year.
http://bit.ly/Xpgi2n

>> Hellish song rewrite <<
Anyone who's had a boss can relate to this
extraordinary tale of a song being rewritten 19
times to please the people who are paying for it.
http://bit.ly/WagCDI

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the sausages challenge

Last week we wanted you to celebrate beards

Your favourites included:

* JAMIE OLIVER MAKING SAUSAGES - yes, it's as
rude as it sounds. (herman:D)
http://b3ta.com/board/10918623

* GRANGE HILL TERROR SAUSAGE - ooh, a little bit
of satire here. (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/10915568

* HOW SAUSAGES ARE MADE - manufacture is full of
surprises. (happytoast)
http://b3ta.com/board/10917403

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/son-of-sausages/

>> New challenge: Don't Visit Britain <<
The Government are thinking of launching a
poster campaign to discourage people from coming
to Britain - basically because they think
pandering to racists will distract the public
from their total fucking over the economy. Sad
thing is, they're probably right.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/britain-is-rubbish/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* PENIS PROVERBS - Happosai writes, "As
requested in the 'things we'd like to see'
section of this week's newsletter. It's a
quick'n'dirty reworking of something, which I
wrote a few years ago for the same reason."
http://www.tabbron.com/proverb/penis.html

* MISSING NEWSLETTER Enzyme writes, "Also,
whatever happened to newsletter 564?" We're very
superstitious about the number 564. It's
extremely sinister. OK, we got mixed up.

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* ADDRESS LINE TWITTER GAMES - Matt Round writes
- after "data:text/html, "
you're left with 108 chars - is it possible to
get a game into a tweet..?

* BORED OF BACON / KITTENS / GIFS - what next
for the hive-mind that can't concentrate?

* SOCIAL NETWORK / CLOUD THAT DOESN'T GRANT
ACCESS TO RANDOM AUTHORITIES - we remember
privacy. Used to be nice.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Lovers: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Shovers: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Leemondus,
PintOfGuinness, the_ref, Linbox, Art101,
@maryepworth, Coubs, PhosphorBurnedEyes,
The Great Architect.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via Smallbrainfield.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
Finding it tricky to locate something online?
Simply tweet, "X is ungoogleable" & some sap
will spend hours hunting it down to prove you
wrong.

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Sonntag, 27. Januar 2013

VOL 1185 - Jan 27, 2013 - Strange Fortune Cookie Fun!

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------

JANUARY FUN
Time For Some Strange Fun !

------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

NEW FEATURE NOW AVAILABLE ON STRANGE WEBSITES - THE MOST POPULAR GROUP TOPICS/PICTURES OF THE WEEK - 30 Pictures Per Group:

http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/news_3777.html
TROUBLE WITH UMPIRES - REFEREES - OFFICIALS - LINESMEN - COACH !!!!!!!

http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/news_10702.html
STRANGE OLD & NEW TEARDROP CAMPER TRAILERS - CHECK OUT THE NEW STRANGEVEHICLES CATEGORY - CAMPERS - TRAILERS

http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/news_10477.html
STRANGE WORKPLACE ACTION GIF'S - GOOFY OFFICE PROBLEMS - STRANGENESS

http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/news_671.html
STRANGE 'ART' FROM AROUND THE WORLD

http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/news_2561.html
STRANGE BEER AND LIQUOR IMAGES

==================================

Strange "They're Mean to Me" Quotes:

I'm not Jacko, I'm Jackson... 'Wacko Jacko' - Where did that come from? Some English tabloid. I have a heart and I have feelings. I feel that when you do that to me, it's not nice. - Michael Jackson

People have been so busy relating to how I look, it's a miracle I didn't become a self-conscious blob of protoplasm. - Robert Redford

People say I'm extravagant because I want to be surrounded by beauty. But tell me, who wants to be surrounded by garbage? - Imelda Marcos

I can't get no respect.- Rodney Dangerfield

They have vilified me, they have crucified me, yes, they have even criticized me. - Richard J. Daley

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Fortune Cookie Fun

* Man who stand on toilet get high on pot.

* Woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring.

* Naked man fears no pick pocket.

* Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.

* The hand that turneth the knob opens the door.

* Ok for school kids to masturbate as long as it's not against Principal.

* It take square ass to sh*t brick.

* Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

* Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.

* Wise man wash face in morning neck at night.

* Man who gets kicked in testicles left holding the bag.

* When lady says no, she mean maybe.

When lady say maybe, she mean yes.

When lady say yes, she no lady

* He who sniffs coke drowns.

* Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

* Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist.

* Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

* Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money.

* Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

* Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy.

* Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly.

* Man who date flat-chested girl have good reason to feel low-down.

* Man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit.

* Girl who go to bachelor pad for snack get tit-bit

* Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

AWESOME PPS PRESENTATION OF CUSTOM TRUCKS - PICKUP TRUCKS - COOLEST CUSTOM PAINT AND STYLES - OLD AND NEW! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/186781.html

WORLDS LARGEST REVOLVER - REMINGTON MODEL 1859 - BUILD BY RYSZARD TOBYS OF CZEMPI POLAND - 1 - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/186798.html

STRANGE HOCKEY PLAYERS - THE EVOLUTION OF BRENT BURNS - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/186799.html

KIM KARDASHIAN'S MANSION - FROM THE STREET VIEW - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186823.html

STRANGE TRIPLE TIERED 40TH BIRTHDAY CAKE - DEPENDS & VIAGRA! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186839.html

STRANGE MOTORCYCLE GANG TOYS - ROCKING HORSE HAS HARLEY DAVIDSON BIKE INSTEAD OF HORSE! - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/186840.html

TRAFFIC CAMERA CAPTURES RED LIGHT RUNNER WHO GETS BROADSIDED , FLIPS OVER AND SLIDES UP BARRICADE AND KNOCKS DOWN TRAFFIC LIGHT POLE! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/186843.html

FIRST WOMEN'S GRADUATING CLASS FOR FEMALE SERVICE STATION ATTENDANTS IN CLEVELAND - C 1920'S - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/186844.html

5 PLANE FORMATION OF AIR FORCE TRAINERS OVER FARM FIELDS 1943 - GREAT SHOT! ANYONE RECOGNIZE THE TYPE OF WWII AIRPLANE? - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/186841.html

STRANGE OLDE LOGGING EQUIPMENT - RAILS MADE FROM LOGS FORM TRACK - COOS COUNTY OREGON 1925 - CHECK OUT HUGE WIDE WHEELS! - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/186842.html

STRANGE FUNCTIONAL ARTWORK - LARGE PLASTIC SODA BOTTLE HANGING DOWN WITH BOTTOMS FILLED WITH COLORED WATER FORM COLORFUL WAVY COVER - AMAZING - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186845.html

STRANGE OLDE EMERGENCY EQUIPMENT - 1931 MODEL AA FORD AMBULANCE - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/186724.html

STRANGE POLICE ACTION GIFS - SUBWAY iPOD THIEF TIMES HIS SNATCH SO THAT WHEN THE DOOR IS CLOSING, HE GRABS LADIES iPOD - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/186319.html

BEDE BD-5J MICROJET - WORLDS SMALLEST JET - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/186779.html

STRANGE SHEEP DOG WALKS ON THE BACKS OF SHEEP IN PEN - FUNNY ACTION GIFS - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/186522.html

STRANGE OLDE MOTORCYCLES - 1924 MEGOLA - STRANGE FRONT WHEEL DRIVE STREAMLINED MOTORCYCLE - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/186529.html

STRANGE AUTO AND TRUCK DANGERS - SUV'S AUTOMATIC REAR DOOR LIFTS LITTLE BOY HANGING ON TO HANDLE! - CRAZY ACTION GIF ! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/186847.html

STRANGE HIKING DANGERS - CRAZY ROCK CLIMBERS JUMP FROM DANGEROUS ROCK OUTCROPPING TO CLIFFS EDGE - DON'T SLIP! - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/186846.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week - CARS - TRUCKS - MOTORCYCLES - BOATS - ALL KINDS OF VEHICLES

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/27_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

The Strange History of Rifles - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/174712.html

Strange Facts About Australia - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/174084.html

10 Strange Cannibalism Stories - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/173227.html

Strange Puns - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/169513.html

Seven of the Toughest Women in History - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/175897.html

Actual Exchanges Between Pilots and Control Towers - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/176013.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - CARS - TRUCKS - MOTORCYCLES - BOATS - ALL KINDS OF VEHICLES

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites

GOLF - COURSES - TOURNEYS - PROFESSIONALS - http://www.strangeGolf.com/

YOUR FAVORITE ACTION GIF'S AND OPTICAL ILLUSIONS- http://www.strangeFunVideos.com/

LEISURE DESTINATIONS AND TRAVEL http://www.strangeVacations.com/

RACE CARS AND OTHER VEHICLES - DRAGSTER - BIKES http://www.strangeRacer.com/

BLONDE CELEBS AND ROCK STARS - Tanks http://www.strangeBlondes.com/

COLLEGE STUFF - DORMS - FRATS - BAR LIFE http://www.strangeCollege.com/

==========================

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Freitag, 25. Januar 2013

[b3ta] "Calm down dear. It's just a newsletter"

This Week:
* OBAMA - Cassetteboy inauguration
* SORRY - Your finest apologies
* DIRTY - hateful Scrabble tips

-------------------------------------------------
________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the best
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | until you've gone home
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| then scoffing it"

B3ta email 5x113 - 25 Jan 2013

Read this issue with a complimentary mint:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue565

Dubstep : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Substep : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
Ardunio

Yadda yadda buy some ads already - so as
tradition dictates the slot is taken with
something we've recently bought on Amazon. The
Arduino is a circuit board you can download
code into and then make it do things. Mainly
we've used it with a small speaker, ripped out
of a kids' toy, and a handful of variable
resistors to make a chiptune arpeggiator. They
cost bugger all (under £15) and are a damn site
easier to get your head round than fiddling
with logic chips. The code is simply "if then"
kind of stuff, rather than having to measure
resistor values and getting really confused.
Nice hobby, if you're a bit geeky.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B006H3DNX0/b3ta-21

>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

>> match.com - Meet Jeff <<
"Those match.com adverts suck," claims woahbot.
"They don't portray online 'dating' like they
should — so we've taken matters into our own
hands and made our own." The camera just loves
ad star Log.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/match_com_Meet_Jeff

>> Very Specific Facebook Graph Searches <<
Web ubernaut Tom Scott has been playing around
with Facebook's new Graph Search. The results
can be narrowed down to a slightly alarming
degree. Companies that employ people who like
"Racism", anyone?
http://actualfacebookgraphsearches.tumblr.com/

>> Bored Stiff <<
"A disgusting little animation called Bored
Stiff," explains Man in a Cat scribe Ian
Ravenscroft. Ugh. Never go to hospital.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Bored_Stiff

>> Cheesy 50s brain-melt <<
"This is all made from an old piece of film
footage about the wonders of capitalism or
something," scribbles Cyriak. Watch it HD if
you can.
http://bit.ly/Ys7QnT

>> Obama's Cassetteboy inauguration <<
Barack Obama's way with words takes a new
dimension, with the help of Cassetteboy. "We
spent most of last night cutting up Obama's
Inaugural Address. Here's what we pasted back
together."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK6nH5ZG4q8

-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Sorry

Last week we asked you to write letters of
apology to those you have wronged. We still
can't work out the confession of murder on
their daughter's wedding day:
http://b3ta.com/questions/sorry/

* MARKER - "While working as the sales manager
of (probably) the last CDR manufacturer in the
UK, times were tough. We took on a few extra
jobs to pay the bills, one of which was packing
U2 CDs, inserts and promo stickers into jewel
cases before boxing them up for distribution.
The whole factory got involved, but not being
very good at mindless tedium, I amused myself
autographing one or two discs. Nothing fancy,
just things like "Enjoy! Bono," and "All the
best, Bono." So, I would like to humbly apologise
to any excited, little U2 fans (particularly if
they are big, scary, violent, baseball-bat-wielding
little U2 fans) who thought they had got their
hands on something unique, personal and special,
especially if they showed them off to their
U2-loving friends, and especially especially if
their friends were slightly skeptical about the
idea of Bono standing in the CD production line
with a magic marker, and extracted the piss by
the gallon. Sorry."
(blyerkit)

* LETTER - "At primary school I had an odd teacher
who, if you did something wrong, would make you
write a letter of apology to him. If it was
really bad, you'd have to write several. I was
new and didn't really understand the point when
I did something wrong and was told to write five
letters of apology. Not understanding, I wrote
"S O R R Y" He went batshit while I stood there
wondering what the fuck was going on. "But you
said five letters! There are five letters!"
(inflateable)

* PROMOTER - "Kate. I feel I must explain. I was
supposed to be meeting a promoter I had never met
before, in the pub before the gig when you arrived
early. I guess the reason I said what I said was
your short hair, small breasts and gender neutral
clothing. I guess I can't be held completely
responsible but I am sorry that the band all burst
out with laughter and caused you to run out of the
pub when I innocently asked you if you were Geoff
and you replied, "No I'm Kate". They were laughing
at me, not you, I promise."
(PhillieJoe)

>> This Week - SELF IMPORTANT <<
Tell us tales of jumped-up officials, the mad,
old bloke who runs the Neighbourhood Watch like
it's a military operation, Colonel Blimps,
pompous bastards and people stuck up their
own arse.
http://b3ta.com/questions/selfimportant/

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

>> Weird and bizarre hotel reviews. <<
Nicely done, Tumblr; saving you the effort of
digging through the text, just finding the
nugget of funny and fucking off.
http://tripadvisaargh.tumblr.com/

>> Retro web pr0n <<
The first porn image on a computer screen was
in A. 1980? B. 1990 or C. 1970? Bzzzt, wrong.
It was 1956.
http://bit.ly/XC1YST

>> Vine - video loop sharing app <<
This is the week that Twitter launches Vine, a
long-form photo experiment that gives you 6
seconds of video in a loop. Fun to make deffo,
but haven't made up our minds how fun it is to
watch other people's yet. Basically, animated
gifs with sound - You're The Man Now Dog &
Flickr will be a bit peeved if this takes off.
Here's our quick go, giving you a guide to the
cups of our kitchen. Install the app to your
phone if you fancy a play.
http://vine.co/v/b5t9qhrZgZm

>> Porno-postboxes <<
Remember the 'Planning Notices in Brighton'
bloke? Well, he's called Phil Lucas and is an
occasional stand-up comedian, and most recently
has been sticking rude signs to postboxes. Read
them here, before he's arrested on a jumped-up
terrorism charge.
http://bit.ly/VbLd0p

>> Darkest confessions of anonymous creatives <<
We've got a friend who's the creative director
of an ad agency - do you know his secret?
Colour blind. Doesn't dare tell the clients.
http://www.thecreativeconfessional.com/

>> M&S padded man pants <<
Yep, now you can pretend you have a large cock,
rather than the embarrassing smoothness between
your legs that means you've never been with a
lady. Am I right boys? How the fuck this is
right for cosiest of brands M&S isn't for us to
guess.
http://bit.ly/ne8b81

-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Like an unlooping Vine

>> How to play dirty at Scrabble <<
Five minutes on how to improve your Scrabble
game and make your friends utterly hate you.
The trick? Be defensive, cut off the board from
the other player and make up words. Tsk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1aq6sJEuVU&t=52s

>> Javascript is the new Rock'n'Roll <<
We recently met a gentleman by the name of
Circuit Ben (name changed by deedpoll!) who
makes synths and music circuits for a living.
He recommended we watch a 30-minute-long video
about how to code music in Javascript. This
might not be funny ha ha for everyone, but we
found it fascinating. Love the whole code =
music stuff going on. Overtone is incredible
too, but javascript is easier to pick up and
play, as it's already there in your browser.
http://bit.ly/NlLH5X

>> Teabag Mousepad <<
Frankly frightening video where a child's voice
is overdubbed by some big geezer. Wonder if
there's any instant weirdness doing the idea
the other way round?
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Teabag_Mousepad:2

>> Ice Cream Van vs Prince Harry <<
In one of the most obvious bullshit set-up
scenes ever filmed, pretend hardman Prince "I
bagged a Johnny Foreigner, what ho!" Harry
pulls out of a TV interview to do Army
maneuvers. Nicely mocked with a little bit of
music here.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ice_Cream_Van

>> Mehdi makes a rail gun <<
You didn't think the world needed a Tommy
Cooper of electronics demonstration videos but
you were wrong. Second time we've featured
Mehdi. Go him!
http://bit.ly/Y3sq9Y

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: FOLLOW FRIDAY
Trek in the City

Spun-off from the fact that Kim Cattrall, the
actor who played cougar Samantha in Sex in the
City, also had a part in Star Trek VI, the
tweets combine sci-fi babble with stuff about
shoes.
https://twitter.com/trekandthecity

-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Gay Robots Challenge

Last week we wanted you to celebrate the
wonderful world of gay robots. Actually, we
didn't because we were worried it would all
turn out a bit homophobic - but it was voted
for and we were stuck with it.

Your favourites included:

* QUIT: like Brokeback Mountain, but
with pixel stetsons (Lumpbucket)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10913249

* SPACE: rare glimpse of heuristically
programmed algorithmic goatse (drbroon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10912098

* PLUG: unconventional socket for
homoerotic household (Moon Girl
Technologies)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10911493

All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/gay-robots/

>> New challenge: Sausages II <<
This week's challenge revisits familiar yet
fertile territory: sausages. Celebrate their
power and meaty magnificence through the gift
of Photoshop. Sausages.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/son-of-sausages/

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.

* HOW THE 'MAJOR KEY VERSION OF MINOR KEY
SONGS' HACK WORKS - spoiler in two words
"Celemony Melodyne" - which isn't the name of
a 14 year old Serge Gainsbourg tried to bugger.
http://bit.ly/XCIBch

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* TWITTER BOTS TO CURE TWITTER ADDICTION - Can
someone write a twitter bot that we can follow
that posts every hour, "Hey, you're on twitter
a lot. Haven't you got work to do?" Thanks.

* MORE EFFECTIVE PHONE SCREENING - Phones
should automatically google any incoming number
you don't recognise. We want to be pre-warned
before picking up.

* PENIS SWAPS - Swapping the key noun in an
aphorism with "penis" improves them: beating a
dead penis; wake up & smell the penis; bad
workman blames his penis. No idea where we're
going with this. Oh, absence makes the penis
grow harder.

Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.

-------------------------------------------------

Suck off: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Fuck off: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

THANKS:
This issue writted by Rob "Heathcliff" Manuel
with David "Garfield" Stevenson. Stuff sent in
by Tyronne, quigonjim, Fork, Figmaus,
combatcameraman, zacherynuk.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
Subjlols via Halibut.

-------------------------------------------------

TOP TIP:
When eating fruit pastilles, as soon as you
find your favourite flavour is next, stop eating
from that end of the packet. Open the other end
and eat from that side instead. That way your
last fruit pastille will be your favourite and
you won't be left with lime-flavoured
disappointment. (Draconacticus)

AND FINALLY - tonynibbles has written an
'advice slip' site that reads like the kind of
stuff we might occasionally stick in as a top
tip. So here you go:
http://adviceslip.com/